Remaining Unperturbed-07

Let us understand how a Sthitaprajna compares with a devotee, a bakta. A Sthitaprajna is one who has ceased to be a devotee and become bhagwan (God). And a devotee is one who is on his way to becoming God. So while a devotee is a one who is on the path, a Sthitaprajna is one who is already arrived. In other words, devotion is the path and steadied intelligence or wisdom is the destination. One who has arrived at the goal is called Sthitaprajna, and a traveler to this goal is called devotee. There is a lot in common between a devotee and a man of settled intelligence, because there is just a distance between the two.  The difference is one of journey and destination. The aspirations and expectations of a devotee turn into the achievement of the enlightened, the awakened one- and also goes beyond. And so long as a devotee does not become God himself, he will be thirsty, he will face discontentment too. 

About the distance, no matter how intimate an embrace is, a subtle separation remains between lovers. This distance can disappear only when two lovers disappear as egos and merge into each other and become totally one. Either in devotee & God or between lovers, this distance will otherwise be a distance. Whether it is a distance of an inch or of million miles, even if we reduce the distance to a thousandth part of an inch, it remains a distance nonetheless. So a devotee cannot be fully satisfied even if he remains locked in God’s embrace. He can be fulfilled only when he disappears as a devotee and becomes God himself. 

The problem is that unless we become one with the beloved, not physically but spiritually, at the level of love/ devotion, of being- there is no way for us to be satisfied and happy. This is the hardest thing to achieve.

This is not going to happen if two lovers remain tied to each other or a devotee is tied to the God. And the irony is, the nearer they are to each other, the greater their disillusionment and misery. When there was a distance between them they had hoped for heavenly happiness and joy that would come when they become closer to each other. But when they are really close, even closest to eachother, they feel disillusioned, almost cheated by their own hopes. This can be witnessed in this world among the lovers and also in devotees. The love of person to another or of devotee to God should be devoid of ego. Otherwise the aspirations are running in one direction and the efforts in another, and so frustration is inevitable. We who long to be one with God, nothing should come in between them, not even or to put it correctly not specifically the thought of “I” and “thou”. 

Let us think into this seriously to understand the ultimate reality!

Wishing you good health & happiness,

Dr. Dwarakanath, Director, Mitran foundation- the stress management people

Diving in the World Ocean

My wish to visit the Bombay High oil drilling site was granted in April 1995. The drilling site is located about 200 km away from the seashore and it takes almost an hour to reach there by a helicopter. The visit was well arranged and I enjoyed it immensely. From the engineering point of view, the whole operation is amazing. The fixation of the drilling rigs and platforms is an engineering feat. The foundations of these structures are very deep in order to keep them stable. During the visit I met some engineers who had worked there in the initial days of construction and they narrated their experiences with great pride, expressing the thrill of achievement. They also told me that the foundation construction of these structures was the most difficult stage and to carry out this task, expert divers were called from other countries. Subsequently, the art of diving has been sufficiently

developed in India too. 

We also discussed the techniques of diving. I was told that deep-sea diving was a difficult job and a good amount of training was required for it. As the pressure of water increases when the diver goes down into the depths of the sea, he has to take measures to withstand the stress. The deeper the diver goes, the greater is the pressure. In earlier days, the training process took a long time as the divers were subjected to gradually increasing pressure before they could venture deep into the sea.

Now, there are special equipments which create sea conditions artificially and the process of training is expedited. However, the principle of training remains the same, which is to create enough internal resistance or pressure to withstand the external pressure. If the diver does not do this, his body could collapse. I have drawn some very interesting inferences from this fact.

The world we live in is also like a sea. The deeper we go into it, the greater are the disturbing forces we have to face. If we are not trained or used to bear these pressures, we collapse and fail to achieve the goal of our existence. In that case, we sink and then blame the world for it. We forget the nature of the world and the fact that there is no use blaming external circumstances. We should, on the other hand, train ourselves to withstand the pressures of the world. For this, we have to develop enough internal strength so that the two neutralise each other and we are able to dive into this worldly sea like professional divers. If we remember this, we shall not only perform our roles well but will enjoy life too.

What does this mean in real life? It means that one’s development should be integrated. While it is desirable to have external growth, it may turn out to be disastrous if it is not matched by a corresponding internal growth. The greater the external growth, the greater is the need for internal growth too. That is why people with high positions, greater riches, greater fame, or power should be much more balanced than ordinary persons. If they are not so, the outer trappings may become the cause of their disaster. The conclusion is that a balanced growth of personality makes us good divers, plunging confidently into this worldly sea. The world will then cease to be a source of danger or trouble for us and we can enjoy living in it, as well as perform our duties well.

Rakesh Mittal IAS

*A man of wisdom lives in the world but the world does not live in him.

*How things look on the outside of us depends on how things are on the inside of us.

Utilize Old Things

In most homes there is a lot of stuff that nobody uses. You do not want to throw it away but, really, you cannot use it anymore. With a little bit of creativity you can turn these old things into something wonderful and useful. If you are on a budget or dislike the thought of shopping for new supplies, then take the creative route. Dig out all the old things in your house that are no longer in use and convert them into productive items. Reusing old objects is economical and environmentally safe. Anyone can achieve this feat with a little imagination and effort.

The rock garden of Chandigarh is a glorious example of old things being artistically converted into a beautifully decorative landscape.

At home, gift wrapping paper can be reused if you take care not to rip open a present and tear the paper to shreds. Save the wrapping paper for using it another time. You can embellish it with ribbons, sequins and stickers to give it a new look. If you have leftover cloth after making a dress or quilt, you can make use of it in stitching your baby’s dress or cushion covers.

Sometimes people end up with a large collection of decorative trays or plates gifted by family and friends. You can get plate hangers and display these on the walls of your home or use them for gifting them to people.

Pictures from old calendars can be framed and hung on walls. Old calendars can also be used as wrapping paper or be spread on shelves of your cupboards. You can take out the unused pages from your child’s notebook and bind them together to be used as a rough note book. The old school books of your elder child can be bound and used by your younger child. Do not throw old pens. Just change the refills and reuse them. 

In case you have a pet at home, you can create a comfortable resting place for them by using old blankets, sweaters or towels. Empty tissue boxes also need not be thrown away. You can reuse them for storing plastic bags. A great use for old fabric is to add some beads, buttons and new fabric to create new cushions for your living room couch. Use old clothes to teach your children to do needle work or make dolls. Old torn fabric may be used for cleaning the house. Old sarees can be used for making beautiful new quilts.

You can polish and change the fabric of your old sofas and other furniture to give it a new look. Making new candles from old, used candles by melting them is a fun craft project. Old pots and pans make for a great potted plant. Making new things from something old is always fun. With a touch of creativity and spirit, you can find a new use for your old things. So reuse, recycle and redecorate. 

Dr (Mrs)Archana Bharat

A Holistic Perspective - 7

Trust in humanity is very difficult in the face of humans wanting to mistreat or murder us for not believing what they believe. While trust, in spite of many very painful betrayals, can lead us to light, mistrust and paranoia can only plunge us into abysmal darkness. If we can take our painful betrayals from others including our intimate friends and very close relatives as precious opportunities provided for healthy detachment and our own purification from our ego and self-centeredness on our path to spiritual realization, our purpose in our life is achieved. 

A word about faith - faith is reasonable but not reasoned. The content of faith is not amenable to reason. We have the capacity to conceive an infinite being like God. Some philosophers think that that capacity cannot be there unless the object of that capacity (God) exists. Again who knows? God who loves and knows us and understands our sincerity has a way, because God is God, of saving us. That is why it is good to believe what we believe in while we let others believe what they believe in. We can certainly try to enlighten others as they too can try to enlighten us. That is what loving, thoughtful, civil, and healthy discourse is. That is what tolerance is all about. I am totally convinced that any enlightening that may take place comes from the way we live, act, and treat others. The more enlightened we are the better we treat others, the more God-like we become.

Since I left the Jesuits in 1982, and plunged into the unprotected world of reality and untrammelled freedom, many close friends, relatives, acquaintances, and clients asked me about my beliefs and views on various important matters. While I try not to shake people up without providing better props than those they already have, I have clearly expressed my views on various denominations or religions, religious leaders, or God-persons.  I resisted many alluring temptations of being with many persons and doing many things, and took the opportunity of intense solitude during this month in the ashram near the confluence of the mighty Mississippi-Missouri rivers to meditate, pray, read, reflect and put down my current definitive thoughts in writing. 

I hope these thoughts may be of some help to those like me who are always open to new inspirations coming from humanity in general and the great Holy Spirit of all in particular. Having said all that I have said, where am I now?  I believe in the Kingdom of God: a kingdom of truth and justice, a kingdom of peace and reconciliation. The characteristics of this kingdom are contained on the Sermon on the Mount given by Christ. The hallmark of this kingdom is the unity of humanity and the fellowship of all humans modeled on the Parable of the Good Samaritan. I believe in a God who is pure Compassionate Truth. This God is especially exemplified by the father of the Prodigal Son.  In this belief I find my bliss.

After all genuine and unconditional search, nothing could bring me to this belief except through humble and surrendering faith. No human knowledge, no human authority. In this connection, it is also good to recall what the great sage, St. Paul, said: "Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, God decided through the foolishness of our proclamation, to save those who believe...Consider your own call, brothers and sisters: not many of you were wise by human standards, not many powerful, not many were of noble worth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, things that are not, to reduce to nothing things that are, so that no one might boast in the presence of God."

Swami Snehananda Jyoti 

Nobel Prize Anxiety

This year on 10th October 2014, it was in the mid afternoon that all TV channels started flashing the news of Nobel Peace prize to our own Kailash Satyarthi and our neighbour Malala Yousafzai. People started searching the Facebook if Shri Kailash Satyarthi has a page, where people can start liking or leave comments. Within next five minutes a Facebook page with the name of Kailash Satyarthi – A public figure appeared. People started liking and following it. I was myself the 10th follower of the page and I left a comment that the page liking will skyrocket soon. True to my prediction the page liking reached fifteen thousand, within a span of three days. I myself referred this page to my friends and took pride in telling them that I was one of the first ten persons to congratulate Satyarthi Ji on Facebook. Messages on the page looked like the original ones being given by Satyarthi Ji himself. Now the page creator themselves declared that it is not an official page and they are talking to the Nobel Laureate to take over its charge.

This episode made me think about how an exciting event or circumstance can make us believe anything. This is the kind of anxiety dependent belief we see everywhere. These days’ media is reporting ‘U’ turns of many incidences that shook the nation in past few months. We all get swayed away by the way the information is presented in front of us. The habit of our brain is often used by street magicians to make us believe in their tricks. Research says that our brain has wonderful capability of filling up incomplete information. Pessimists will say that, one should have enough maturity to control their thoughts and no to get swayed away so easily. I personally consider the ability of our brain to complete the jigsaw puzzle of random information, to be of positive importance. Even though I watched an unofficial Facebook page, I did learn his ideologies and I did become thoughtful about the cause of children raised by him. So friends! Let us keep enjoying the randomness and entropy of this virtual world.

Dr. Sunil Ji Garg

Arch Demons

The biggest sin for a faithful wife could be her husband’s dishonesty; but dishonesty is not a considerable sin when it comes to a pair of prisoners. An action is defined a sin or virtue only in the context of the action. If there is a sin which is cardinal to everyone on earth, it could only be demotivation – the act of reducing somebody’s enthusiasm. 

During the nineties, the South African city of Johannesburg was plagued with crime. It was an Indian by name Sanjoy Roy (popularly known as ‘festival guy’, founder of Teamwork - an international event organizing team) who fixed it with a solution. He set up a variety of art centres and art events there. It could change the culture of the city very fast. He says, “People need to let their creativity out.” Sanjoy Roy could prove this in other world centres too. What we need to understand is that unless somebody’s enthusiasm for creativity is appropriately nourished, it could backfire as severe social unrest. It is in this context that I say, demotivation is an offence towards humanity. 

According to Psychologists any child is born with certain aptitudes some of which are powerful enough to fetch him/her a Nobel Prize. Frankly speaking, how many of us look at another person with an eye of appreciation over his/her talents? Truly, it takes genuine talent to see the greatness in oneself. This is the case in most situations. It is here that a small support from our side turns out to be critical for the other. There are exceptions, who strongly believe in themselves and dare to explore their aptitudes. We do not spare them too. We interrupt in their business and remind them that they are chasing an unreachable target. This is something more than demotivation, this is murder of a human spirit in action.

Any achievement is possible only if you have a vision, enough determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor. Once somebody is set with all these, a demotivating action, word or an approach could be like a fire engine set on a burning candle. People say that mad enthusiasts are cracked crackers, while they themselves are always sharp and well loaded. Yeah, it is the same thing that a sharp pencil also would say. All that we need to understand from similar people is that they are never used. It is said that there are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots. There are good people who talk about self esteem and positive thinking but only very few speak out on the havoc demotivators do. It is this resistance to expression that spoils family unity and disturbs the society damaging even the nation. A motivating word you speak changes another and modifies the world around too.

Joseph Mattappally

Friends Vs Relatives

‘God gives us relatives. Thank God, we can choose ourfriends.’ This is a thought I came across somewhere and have found useful. Many of us feel the difference between friends and relatives. At times, I have myself faced agony on account of several relatives but I have no complaint against them and accept the reality of their attitudes and shortcomings with grace. Such experiences in turn made me contemplate on the subject and I would like to share my thoughts.

To begin with, we must accept that every friend is also a relative of many others. Then how is it that as a friend, we find no problem with him while as a relative it would be a different story? Obviously it must be the difference in the attitude of the observer. If, somehow, one is able to develop the same attitude towards both relatives and friends, the problem will disappear. It may be difficult to do so but it is definitely possible. To understand the situation better, let us look at the reasons for this difference. The first reason is that we watch our relatives so closely that their weaknesses are known to us. After all, no one is perfect and even a very good person may have some shortcomings. Most of us have the tendency to dwell upon the faults of others. This tendency quite often shadows the good qualities of the person and we develop a bias.

The second reason is that relatives like brothers, sisters, uncles and nephews grow together from childhood. They normally begin their relationships with the same status, but as time goes on, this status changes and quite often there is a wide gap between two relatives who were once at a similar stage, be it financial or social. This difference creates a feeling of jealousy and gives rise to the tendency to find fault with each other.

The third reason is undue expectation. Frequently, we are disappointed when we expect too much from others or have unrealistic expectations. Most of us feel that it is the duty of our relatives to help us, irrespective of whether we deserve it or not. Also, we do not even consider it necessary to appreciate and express our appreciation for the help extended by them, taking it for granted. We all like to be appreciated. At times help is not possible despite best efforts but the efforts made should also be appreciated. Instead of doing that, one tends to put the blame on the person who made the efforts and, naturally, this creates disharmony.

The fourth factor which is quite important is the age difference. We have no control on the timings of our physical birth. As we grow in age, we acquire wisdom. Most of us believe that wisdom and age are synonymous while this is not necessarily true. A young person may be wiser than an elderly one but those who do not believe that this is possible, find it difficult to accept any advice from younger people. Apart from this, at times they exploit the young on the basis of the age difference, showing contempt or scorn. The young may show patience up to a point, but if the limits are crossed, disharmony is created.

The fifth reason is the fact that once a blood relationship is created, it remains for as long as we live, though it may not have any meaningful purpose. It is not in our hands to cancel it out. While there are legal provisions to nullify a close relationship, such as a marital one, there is no such provision in the case of blood relations. Such relations can he terminated only at a mental and, perhaps, emotional level, but often it is not possible and the result is disharmony.

Having analysed the main reasons for the disparity in our attitudes towards friends and relatives, it is easy to understand why we have more harmony with our friends as compared to relations. Without going into the details again, it can be said that in the case of friends, we have a choice, we do not watch them very closely, we accept the difference in status, if any, we do not have any undue expectation, we do not take the age difference that seriously and we have the choice of terminating friendship rather easily. It may be clarified that here we are talking about good friends, otherwise the chances of disharmony between those who are only so-called friends are even greater.

The message is that it is the attitudes which create disharmony and not persons as such. The need is to change them and if positive attitudes are adopted, there will be no cause for disharmony even with relatives. Wise people advise treating even a grown-up son as a friend. The same is true for a husband or wife as it is equally true for other relatives. Once we remove the possible causes of disharmony, we can have friendly relations with all.

Rakesh Mittal IAS