Forwarding Gifts

Recently we celebrated a party at home. It was the occasion of our marriage anniversary. Few neighbors and friends were invited. We usually celebrate such occasions with Vedic style pooja ceremonies. Knowing the occasion type, people also bring some gifts. Finally when the invitees return back after the celebrations, the last event of the day is always the gifts opening ceremony, when all family members sit to see, who presented what. As always, one thing was quite amusing to note that on some of the gift items, the giver has forgotten to erase the name of the original presenter of the gift. The practice of forwarding gift items received by someone, to others is often seen in our zone. I do not know why, but I was always against this practice. I always say this to my wife that either we should buy a fresh gift, or we may just give flowers or just cash in an envelope. My wife says that people forward gifts, because sometimes many duplicate items are received in gifts and people do not have any choice, but to forward it to others. 

I feel that the system of gifts to please the recipient on the occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, marriage events is a rather unorganized and unplanned system. I have seen people weighing the amount of gift versus the venue and number of persons visiting the event. Some people also keep a formal record of who gave what and then they try to return the similar type of gift by value of the gift received from the same person. In fact, on some marriage events, recording is done, of amount given by a relative while putting the ‘tilak’ on the forehead of the groom. In some cases this information is also made public to depict the status of the person. I am sure that the system of gifts must have originated from the point of view of making a contribution in the party, to reduce the burden on one single organiser. Slowly with time, things have changed meaning and have created wider rifts in people of different economic status. We need to evolve better social systems by way of educating the right behaviour at different occasions. Our school books are completely devoid of such practical things. I hope someone somewhere will see this post and take a small step in his own way. 

Dr. Sunil Ji Garg