Father-in-Father

A long time ago, there was a hair-dresser named Fred who was a rehabilitated truck-driver. Stepping into his truck one winter day, he slipped on ice and damaged his back so badly that he could no longer drive his truck. He went for vocational testing, and when he learned that the top recommendation was hair dressing, he was, to put it mildly, horrified. After a few agonizing days, he decided to take the career and he enrolled in a top level school in New York City, and came out of it with comb and scissors.

Fred was a practicing Catholic, who believed that he has lost the privilege of receiving Eucharist because he had taken vasectomy. He lived in fear of hell. Fred discussed the matter with his friend and both the friends began working through this dilemma. It was then that Fred suffered a heart attack. "I'm going to hell. This time I know I'm going to hell." Fred cried. Somehow, he survived. Later he described the pain of the attack: "It was the worst pain I've ever experienced. I lay there on the table, and I said to God, 'Kill me or let me live, but take away this pain.” His friend spoke to him as if excited, "Fred, I bet God is delighted! For the first time in your life, you talked to God in your native tongue, your own natural voice like you talk to your best friend. Catholics believe that God is father, right?" He nodded. "Supposing it was your child who cried out like that in pain, what would you do?" There was a pause, quite a long pause. 

As I read this story, I was reminded of Neale Donald Walsch, the author of the much discussed ‘Conversations with God’, which illustrates logically that our relationship with God should be so intimate, many times stronger than that of a romantic couple. I think, most of the seekers across the globe cannot contain such an intimate relationship with God and have lost track of native tongue when conversing with God. 

I remember a story of an ascetic who died and arrived at the gates of heaven. “Who is there” He heard a voice from within. “It’s me,” answered the ascetic. “There isn’t room for two here,” said the voice. “Go away!” The ascetic went back down to the earth and began his struggle all over again: poverty, fasting, uninterrupted prayer and weeping. His appointed hour came a second time and he died. Once more he knocked at the gates of heaven. “Who is there?” came the voice. “Me,” the ascetic answered. “There is no room for two. Go away,” the voice said. The ascetic plummeted down to the earth and resumed his struggle to attain salvation even more ferociously than before. He became old and died again. He knocked at the gates of heaven once again. “Who is there?” came the voice. “Thou, Oh Lord! Thou,” he replied. Straight away the gates of heaven were opened and he entered into the paradise. This story which St. Francis is said to have narrated to Brother Leo, clarifies what humans are supposed to do to attain salvation. This rule of revolutionary evolution from an unknown connection to a Father-in-Father intimate relationship is the key to enlightenment and it is open to all humans irrespective of country, faith, caste, sex or age. I see the blinking Christmas stars glittering all over the streets. It is Christmas again! I wish a ray or realization slip through our biased understandings of eternal life. 

Joseph Mattappally