Law of Priorities

Prioritizing requires to continually think ahead, to know what’s important, to know what’s next, to see how everything relates to the over all vision. When we are busy, we naturally believe that we are achieving. But busyness does not equal to productivity. Activity is not necessarily accomplishment. What is Required?  What must I do that nobody can or should do for me? What gives the Greatest Return? Work in your areas of greatest strength. Is there something you’re doing that can be done quite well by someone else? If so, delegate it. What brings the Greatest Reward? Life is too short not to do something you love. What energizes you and keeps you passionate?

What creates the effectiveness necessary for converting talent into results? It comes from the choices you make. Orator, attorney, and political leader William Jeannings Bryan said, “Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” People who have passion but lacks priorities are like individuals who find themselves in a lonely cabin deep in the woods on a cold snowy night and then light a bunch of small candles and place them all around the room. On the other hand, people who possess priorities but no passion are like those who stack wood in the fire place of that same cold cabin but never light the fire. But people who have passion with priorities are like those who stack the wood, light fire, and enjoy the light and heat that it produces.

At a certain check post, an Octroi officer observed daily, a cyclist passing the check-post carrying grass for cattle. There was no tax levied on grass and the Octroi officer allowed the bundle of grass to pass. This continued every day for years. Only after retirement did the Octroi officer find a cycle shop near his place of work. To his surprise, he came to know that the cyclist, who used to carry grass, was the owner. Further enquiries revealed that the cyclist all along smuggled one cycle a day across the check-post under the pretext of carrying grass for his cattle. Today, people look for short cuts- to happiness, fame, wealth, and even to God. 

The Octroi officer to his dismay found that during his tenure, he had only checked the bundle of grass, missing out on the essentials. Priorities are wrongly placed and essentials in life are forgotten or are replaced by trifles.

We chase the shadows and  miss the substance.

Sr(Dr) Lilly Thokkanattu SJL

Awareness

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. (Thornton Wilder)

Learn the art of being aware, our success depends upon our power to perceive, to observe, and to know. Keen observation is a chief factor in the success of all great businessmen, executives, artists and military leaders. Men and women go about the world unaware of the beauty, the goodness, and the glories in it. A greater poverty than that caused by lack of money is the poverty of unawareness.

Helen Keller said, hear the music of voices, the song of a bird, the mighty strains of an orchestra, as if you would be stricken deaf tomorrow. Touch each object you want to touch as if tomorrow your tactile sense would fail. Smell the perfume of flowers, taste with relish each morsel, as if tomorrow you could never smell and taste again. Make the most of every sense; glory in all the facets of pleasure and beauty which the world reveals to you through the several means of contact which nature provides. But of all the senses, sight must be the most delightful. As you open your awareness, life will improve of itself, you won’t even have to try. 

Seven men went through a field, one after another. One was a  farmer, he saw only the grass; the next was an astronomer, he saw the horizon and the stars; the physician noticed  the standing water and suspected malaria; he was followed by a soldier, who glanced over the ground, found it easy to  hold, and saw in a moment how the troops could be disposed; then came the geologist, who noticed the boulders and the sandy soil; after him came the real-estate broker, who pondered how the  line of the house lots should run, where would be the drive-way, and the  stables. The poet admired the shadows cast by some trees, and still more the music of some thrushes and meadow lark.

Sr(Dr)Lilly Thokkanattu SJL

Benefit

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long  so  regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell

Look at every situation as an opportunity and not a disgrace. Who knows what is going to unfold to us?  Often we condemn the opportunities and close the door, and closing it forever and kill it at the start itself. Be little patient and try to extract the best out of every opportunity that you get rather than killing it at the start. Try to learn something from everything that happens in life. Each event brings us a learning associated with it. If we are able to see it in the right perspective, we have gained something. Confront every situation with a question to yourself: what am I going to benefit/gain out of this? How does this particular event help me to enhance my personality and my life? So let us try to find something good and meaningful even in the worst of adversities which will make the life worth living and rejoicing. Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great. Weak men wait for opportunities, strong men make them.

Appu was travelling through the countryside in a hot afternoon, he had to walk a long distance to reach the next village. After walking for some time he got tired and felt very thirsty. There was neither a house nor a well nearby to quench his thirst. However, he thought of taking rest for a while which would temporarily give some kind of relief. Appu went and sat under huge tree. As he was tired and body was weak he started feeling drowsy and began to doze. After a while some kind of shrill noise woke him up from the nap. It was a crow chasing a squirrel and the latter was jumping from one branch to the another to save his life. Appu really cursed the creatures for disturbing the nap. As the squirrel was jumping it happened to land on a branch which was already heavy with ripened mangoes and a ripened   mango fell right in front of Appu. Tired and weary Appu grabbed the mango fruit and refreshed himself. Then he said to himself, “rather than blaming the situation I should learn to benefit from every situation and event without judging”.

Sr(Dr) Lilly Thokkanattu SJL

Duty

Duty does not have to be dull. Love can make it beautiful and fill it with fire - Thomas Merton

To be honest, to be kind; to earn a little and to spend a little less; to make upon the whole a family happier for his presence; to  renounce when that shall be necessary and not be embittered;  to keep a few friends, but those without capitulation; above all, on the same grim conditions to  keep friends with himself; here is a task for all that man has of fortitude and delicacy.

John Lubbock says, if there is doubt between two duties, take the nearest. Some worthy people neglect their family for the sake of the heathen, but duty like charity, should begin at home.

When Jawaharlal Nehru died, at his bedside in his own writing, were found the lines from Robert Frost: The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep.

When Marcus Aurelius, appointed the prefect of the praetorium, he gave him a sword, saying, “You will use this sword to defend my life as long as I am faithful to my duty. But if I should fail in my duty, you will use it to punish me. And know my duty is to make the Romans happy.

There is no duty we underrate so much as the duty of being happy.

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thokkanattu SJL

Planning

“When planning for a year, plant corn. When planning for a decade, plant trees. When planning for life, train and educate people.” Chinese Proverb

Planning needs vision and foresight. Only a visionary can do perfect planning which requires experience and expertise. God has designed everything in such a way that the whole   universe lives in unity and harmony. But we find imperfection in His designs because we want to customize it for our convenience. Imagine how meticulously God has planned the creation and left it for regeneration by itself.

We can only plan for non-living things and not living things. That is the difference between our planning and God’s planning. Because living things have life and life is the essence of God.  A mango tree produces mangoes of different shapes. If we were to do it we would have got the same type of products from the same machines. Planning is of vital importance when it comes to achievement of a goal. Even if one has an excellent goal, timely planning and implementation is necessary to achieve   the goal.

Appu was taking a visit in his field in the hot afternoon. After walking for sometime he got tired and thought of resting a while. He sat under a gooseberry tree looking at the pumpkin wines over the field. He said to himself: “How foolish God is! Here He outs a great heavy pumpkin on the tiny wine without strength to do anything but lie on the ground. And He puts a tiny gooseberry on huge gooseberry tree whose branches could hold the weight of a man. If I were God, I could do better than that.” Just then   a breeze came and a gooseberry fell exactly on Appu’s head. Appu rubbed his head, and suddenly became sad and wise. “Suppose,” he mulled to himself “there had been a pumpkin up there, instead of gooseberry? Never again I will try to plan the world for God.”

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thokkanattu SJL

Zeal

All true zeal for God is zeal also for love, mercy and goodness- R.E. Thompson

To bear up under loss; to fight the bitterness of defeat and the weakness of grief; to be victor over anger; to smile when tears are close; to resist disease and evil men and base instincts; to hate hate, and to love love; to go on when it would seem good to die; to look up with unquenchable faith in something ever more about to be --- that is what any man can do, and be great. G.K. Chesterton says the contentment is real, even an active, virtue--not only affirmative but creative. It is the power of getting out of any situation all there is in it. The effective person is seen as being able to commit himself to projects, investing time and energy and being willing to take up appropriate economic, psychological and physical risks. He is seen as being able to think in different and original, that is, creative ways. Finally, able to control impulses and produce appropriate responses to frustration, hostility and ambiguity.

Fire is the chosen symbol of heaven for moral passion. God is love, God is fire. The two are one. Spirit-filled souls are ablaze for God. They love with a love that glows. They believe with a faith that kindles. They serve with a devotion that consumes. They rejoice with a joy that radiates. Love is perfected in the fire of God. The purpose of life is not to be happy-but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you lived at all. What is a plan? A plan is a method of action, procedure, or arrangement. It is a programme to be done. It is a design to carry into effect an idea, a thought, a project, or a development. Therefore, a plan is a concrete means to help you fulfil your desires.

Thomas Carlyle once received a letter from a young man which read like this, “Mr. Carlyle, I wish to be a teacher. Will you tell me the secret of successful teaching?”

Carlyle immediately wrote back “Be what you would have your pupils be. All other teaching is unblessed mockery.”

Someone ought to do it, but why should I? Someone ought to do it, so why not I? Between these two sentences lie whole centuries of moral evolution - Annie Besant.

Zeal is very blind, or badly regulated, when it encroaches upon the rights of others- Quesnel

Sr(Dr) Lilly Thokkanattu SJL

Thoughts

“Change your thoughts, and you change your world.”- Norman Vincent Peale

Thoughts manifest the reality outside.  Your each action is the externalization of the internal thoughts. If you don’t think, there is no action outside. Descrates says, “I think, therefore I am.” The very existence of a human being is because of thinking. Thought comes first, then action. A thought is not an accident. People who undergo a miserable life experience miserable thoughts. The moment they are able to change such miserable thoughts into happy thoughts, transformation happens internally and externally. Thus, researchers declare that we are the makers of our own destiny. If we are able to empower positive thoughts in our mind, undoubtedly the external reality will change. It has to change.

It is said, “People see what they want to see; people hear what they want to hear; people experience what they want to experience.” So try to reprogram your thoughts by being aware of them at every moment. Let your thoughts be natural, expressing the genuine desire of the heart which is the pure centre and source of everything.

There once, was a bunch of tiny frogs… who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach  the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer the contestants…. The race began… Honestly, no-one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. They heard statements such as: “They will never make it”, “The tower is too high” “It is too difficult” etc. The tiny frogs began collapsing one by one. At the end the tiny frog after a big effort reached the top. A contestant asked the tiny frog, how could make it.  I never listened to the comments of the people, I thought of the power and strength I have.

Be Positive in your Thoughts and Actions.

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thokkanattu SJL

Inter-Connectedness

“I think what makes us human—is our interconnectedness among people. It’s our ability to form and maintain relationships. It’s the barometer by which we call ourselves human.”- Thomas Jane

Life is a chain of events –Life is an inter-connected whole. It starts from womb and ends in the tomb. Each event is inter-connected to the previous one. It is like a movie—each scene is related to the previous and gives birth to the future.  Your tomorrow is born out of the present. It is said that when you are happy the world around you seems happy and when you are sad the world around you too looks gloomy and sad. So the first step in building a happy world is to lay the foundation stone within you. Then you experience the world as a rainbow of colours in all facets of life. Life is a chain. Wherever you go whatever you do---you will remain part of the inter-connected chain of life.

An American soldier wounded by the Japanese owes his life to the Japanese scientist Kitasato, who isolated the germ of tetanus. A Russian soldier is saved by a blood transfusion, which came from an Austrian. A German soldier is shielded from typhoid with the help of the Russian. A Dutch marine in the East Indies is protected from malaria because of the experiments by an Italian. A British flier in North Africa escapes death from surgical infection because of a French man, Pasteur, and a German called Koch and their work with bacteria. Need knows no language or language barriers. Or as someone put it: “We are all brothers and sisters under the skin.”

“Each form of life supports all others, together they weave the grand web of life. Thus there really is no happiness for oneself alone, no suffering that afflicts only others.’’- Daisaku Ikeda

Sr(Dr) Lilly Thokkanattu SJL

The Power of Recognition

A too common mistake, especially among leaders, is failure to share recognition and show appreciation to others. J C Staehle did an analysis of workers in America and found that the number one cause of dissatisfaction among employees was their superior’s failure to give them credit. It’s difficult for people to follow someone who doesn’t appreciate them for who they are and what they do. As former secretary of defense and World Bank President Robert McNamara said, “Brains are like hearts—they go where they are appreciated.”

Recognition is greatly appreciated by everyone, not just people in business and industry. Even a little bit of recognition can go an incredibly long way in a person’s life. Everyone is hungry for appreciation and recognition, only the degree varies. Remember people’s names and take time to show them you care and give others recognition at every opportunity.

Travelling during his term as vice President of the United States of America, Thomas Jefferson requested a room at Baltimore’s principal hotel. The vice president was travelling alone incognito, without secretary or attendants; it had been a long trip and it showed in his clothes and appearance.  The proprietor, not recognising his distinguished guest, refused him room. After Mr. Jefferson left, the proprietor learned that he had just turned away from his establishment the vice president of United States! The horrified proprietor immediately sent his subordinates out to find Mr. Jefferson and offer him whatever accommodation he wished. Mr. Jefferson had meanwhile taken a room in a small inn not   far from the principal hotel. He sent the subordinate back to their proprietor with this message: “Tell your master I value his good intentions highly, but   if he has no room for a dirty farmer, he shall have none for this vice president!”

Those of us who have had the privilege of hearing the Lord’s words of wisdom at the Final judgement as reported in the Gospels should shudder at the prospect of we being told, “As long as you did it not the least of my brethren, you did it not to me!”

How often in our lives we have a tendency to look at people whom we consider ‘unimportant’ and can –be-ignored-types’, and do not have a desire to come to their aid. If we behave thus, neither will the only One who matters find any substance in our lives!                               

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thokkanattu SJL

Concentration

“For he who has no tranquillity  there  is no concentration.” –Bhagavad Gita

Pre-occupation is the greatest or biggest enemy to concentration. Often people ask; why am I not able to concentrate? Or why can’t I just do it? It is simply because we don’t give serious reflection about ourselves. For most of us worldly worries and daily problems are bigger and they are immersed in it. We have to concentrate on one problem and exclude everything else – so much so that we almost become unmindful of the rest of the world. We are preoccupied with many other activities that we forget what is our priority.

We start doing things without awareness and focus. We get entangled and engaged in numerous activities that we have no time to go deeper into our own self. The only problem that we are concentrating upon is our world. However, remember that if you cannot focus or concentrate, then all through your life you face the same daily problems. It is important to be strong internally and then face the world without fear. Sort out the internal issue and experience the bliss and joy of every day and every moment.

Once a Zen master summoned four of his disciples and said, “It is time for you to go to the mountains and sit in silence for at least seven days, and then come back.”

They went with the vow to sit   there for seven days, in absolute silence. After just few minutes the   first disciples said, “I wonder whether I have locked my house or not.”  The second disciple said, “You fool! We have come here to be   silent and you have spoken!” The third disciple said, “You are a great fool! What has it to do with you? If he spoke, at least YOU could have kept silent!” The fourth disciple said, “Thank God, I am the only one who has not spoken yet!”

Sr(Dr) Lilly Thokkanattu SJL

Prompt Action

Many fine things can be done in a day if you don’t always make that day tomorrow. Prompt action is important in life and that leads people to succeed in life. Opportunity waits for none. If you don’t take a decision at the appropriate time later on you will have regrets. Timely action is like a rupee saved. Because a rupee saved is a rupee earned. Prompt action requires awareness and vision. It is not a blind decision, instead a calculated, well thought and mature decision. Each time you delay your action you are lagging behind and when you take timely action you travel hundred miles ahead of future, sowing seed of better opportunities. If you don’t utilize the opportunity then there is someone else to take  your opportunity somewhere in the world.

Why delay your decision? Be quick and act timely. So no regret can haunt you. Life is possible only out of decisiveness, commitment and involvement. If not, you are always a spectator- you never participate in anything. Decide for yourself whether you want to be spectator or a doer?

A pretty young woman approached Immanuel Kant and asked, “I would be immensely happy if you could accept me as your wife.” He listened to her and he said, “I will think it over.” And he thought for three years- all the pros and cons. He wrote long treatise- what are the advantages and disadvantages of being married. And finally he arrived at a poor conclusion—almost not a conclusion at all. There was one more point in favour, and that was the point that by being married you will know what marriage is-good or bad. So he went, knocked on the woman’s door. The father opened the door and asked, “Why have you come?” He said, “I have decided, because one more point is in favour of marriage. There are three hundred points in all: three hundred against, three hundred and one for- so I have decided to marry.”The father laughed. He said, “It is too late. She is already married- and not only married, she has a child too! You came a little late.”

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thockanattu SJL

Confidence

“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” Peter T. Mcintyre

When we chase things they elude us. When we are confident and ready to face the reality of life, it comes to us. Because we are not bothered or shaken by it. When you are strong like a rock nothing will shake you. So be firm in whatever you do and leave the rest of your life to God and let Him control it. Being strong and confident in life as well as in whatever you do is a sign of success. Most of us are weaklings who have no guts to face reality. Our confidence starts shaking as we get closer to reality. We only speak and when it comes to the real test get away faster than the speed of lightening.  Certainly you must have come across a number of such characters in your life! What is your reaction to them? Are you comfortable with such characters? Now let us check- am I also such a character? Do I run away from the realities of life? Am I ready to take the responsibilities and challenges of life? It is always better to be confident and face problems than hide like a coward. The option is left to you!

Some of us have a good case of the “can’ts” too. Stop being bitter,  “I can’t!” One of the devil’s greatest tools is to try  and   erect a stronghold in our minds to make us think we can’t do something, God has told us to do. Do not give the devil a foothold. Stay true to yourself! Be faithful to the talents you are blessed with. Be positive in your attitude. Indeed you Can do many things that you think you Can’t! You CAN!

A mad solider came in to the village cutting down men, women and children, and terrifying everyone .Arriving at the doors of a Zen monastery, he smashed down the door with the hilt of his sword. Striding up to the Master who was sitting in ZAZEN, he raised his sword and was just about to kill him, when something of the Master’s stillness touched him. And angrily he shouted, “Don’t you realize that standing in front of you is a man who can cut you in two without the blink of an eye!”

The Master quietly said, “Don’t YOU realize that sitting in front of you is a man who can be cut in two without the blink of an eye? So go ahead. Don’t be restricted by my silence, do whatsoever you have decided to do.” These words of the Zen Master transformed him. He surrendered his sword at the feet of the great Master and became a disciple.

“If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it.”-  Jesse Jackson

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thockanattu SJL

Generosity

Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore wrote, “All that is not given is lost.”

Nothing speaks to others more loudly or serves them better than generosity from a leader. True generosity isn’t an occasional event. It  comes  from the heart and permeates every aspect of a leader’s life, touching his time, money, talents, and possessions. Effective leaders, the kind that people want to follow, don’t gather things just for themselves; they do it in order to give to others. .Cultivate the quality of generosity in your life.

Give something away. Find out what kind of hold your possessions have on you. Take something you truly value, think of someone you care about who could benefit, and give it to the person. Genuine charity does not evaluate an action by its bigness or smallness. It evaluates it as an act of love, an act that makes us discover the greatest good: God Himself!

Put your money to work. If you know someone with the vision to do something really great- something that will positively impact the lives of others-provide resources for the person to accomplish it. Give generously and you will receive much from your giving. Give a smile to everyone you meet and you’ll receive smiles. Give kind word and you will receive kind words. Give appreciation and you will be appreciated. Give time for a worthy cause and you will be richly rewarded. Give hope and you will be made hopeful. Give happiness and you will be happy. Give encouragement and you will be encouraged. Give prayers and you will receive blessings.

When an earthquake happened in China, a farmer was standing on a hilltop surrounded by his rice fields. Suddenly he saw the ocean rush away from the shore like some large animal crouching for a leap. He saw his neighbours working in the low rice fields, and when that tidal wave came back, they would be swept away by its force. Somehow he had to call them to the safety of his hill. So without thinking twice, he set fire to his straw stack furiously rang the temple bell. His farmer neighbours thought his farm was on fire and rushed up the hill to help him. They had  hardly   reached the top, when they heard and saw the swirling wall of water swish through the field they had just left. Then it was that they realized how the farmer had saved their lives. From that day on, they went to the temple to pray for their neighbour to whose generosity they owed their lives.

God in his generosity really loves us, cares for us, heals us and watches over us.

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thockanattu SJL

Providence

Providence is the care God takes of all existing things- St. John of Damascus

The well of Providence is deep. It’s the buckets we bring to it that are small. We may rest assured that nothing whatever happens on earth without God’s permission. What a source of consolation to know that even the sufferings and adversities which God send us are for our very best, and have in view  our eternal salvation. Do not look forward to what might happen tomorrow; the same Everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of your tomorrow and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace then put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations. Praise Him therefore, whether in His gifts or in His scourges. The praise of the scourges is the medicine for the wound.

God sends us nothing that is too hard or painful to bear. He proportions all to our strength and abilities. Our trials are suited to our needs as the glove to the hand of the wearer. All things will contribute to our sanctification if we but cooperate with the designs of Divine Providence. The farewell address of Abraham Lincoln upon leaving Springfield, for the White House, contains this touching testimony to his trust in God. “I now  leave, not knowing when, or whether ever, I may return, with a task before me greater than that which rested upon Washington. Without the assistance of that Divine Being who ever attended him I cannot succeed. With that assistance I cannot fail. To his   care commending you, I bid you an affectionate farewell.”

The great St. Teresa of Avila, who did big things with small means, once wanted to build a large orphanage. She had only three shillings to start with. Some friends told her that she should be more wise and wait for more funds before beginning the construction. This is the answer Teresa gave: “With three shillings Teresa can do nothing, but with God and three shillings there is nothing that Teresa cannot do.”

Please, dear God, do not bless us as we deserve, we couldn’t along on so little.

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thockanattu SJL

Respect

Respect is a gesture of deep reverence, gratitude and gratefulness to the Creator. When we respect our fellow beings we are in fact respecting God himself because each of us is a part of God. Every culture has different gestures expressing respect and reverence for a deity or to human beings.

Respect is the acceptance of the other as they are. So respect should start from the heart and not to be an external show. If it is a show, then it becomes an imitation and pretence. Respect human beings- respect their individuality, respect their differences. And that is possible only if you respect your own individuality. Great people are respected anywhere without demand. Rich people are respected for their money power and influence. In our context people living in the lower strata are not respected. So they need to be respected and made comfortable. Being friendly and hospitable to such people always imprints a feeling in them that they too are part of the system and they are wanted in the society. Everyone likes to be respected and likes to get importance. It is the game of the ego. 

One day a kind visited the Zen master. The Zen master did not even get up when he saw the King coming. The King felt very strange and surprised. However the King asked, “Which is higher, a worldly king, or the king of dharma? The Zen master replied, “Among human kings I am higher; among the kings of dharma I am also higher.” Hearing this surprising answer, the king was very pleased.

The next day a general came to  visit the Zen master, who not only got up from his seat when he saw the general coming, but also showed him more hospitality in every way than he had shown to  the king. After the general had left, one of the disciples asked him, “Why did you get up from your seat when a person of lower rank came to see you, yet you did not do so for one of the highest rank? The Zen master replied, “You don’t understand. When people of the highest rank come to see me, I do not get up from my seat; when they are medium quality, I do; but when they are of the lowest quality, I go outside of the gate to receive them.”

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thockanattu SJL

Simplicity

Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought-- Hazlitt

Simplicity is nothing but an act of love, pure and simple, with one aim to acquire the love of God. Our soul is truly simple when we have no other goal than this in mind, in everything we do. The function of simplicity is to lead us directly to God without heeding human respect or our own interests. It makes us speak frankly and from the heart; it makes us act with sincerity, without hypocrisy and pretence; and finally it keeps us far from every sort of double dealing. All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single word; freedom, justice, honour, duty, mercy and hope. The only simplicity that matters is the simplicity of the heart. If that be gone, it can be brought back by no turnips of cellular clothing; but only by tears and terror and the fires that are not quenched.

To become childlike or simple:

Uncomplicate your life, be open and honest. Don’t be afraid to admit, “I can’t do that” or I don’t know.” Don’t hide your feelings or be afraid to show affection. Delight in simple things. Enjoy being you. Know who you are, what you can do and what is expected of you.  Don’t hold grudges; let the past be past. Whatever happens, do not shed simplicity. To judge from our good books, one might suppose that God tests his saints as a blacksmith does a bar of iron, to try its strength.

William Pit, the great Prime Minister, had as a friend a Scotsman called Dundas. He had grown to depend on Dundas very greatly. He said of Dundas; “Dundas is no orator, not even a speaker, but Dundas will go out with you in any kind of weather.” Dundas had none of the showy qualities, but he had something greater--- you could depend on him hail, rain or shine.

Simplicity is the badge of distinction.

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thockanattu SJL

Commitment

“Commitment is the enemy of resistance, for it is the serious promise to press on, to get up, no matter how many times you are knocked down”. D. McNally

How important is commitment to you? Are you someone who values loyalty and follow-through? When things get tough, are you in the habit of standing firm? Is your dedication undeniable? To improve your level of commitment, tie your commitments to your values. Because your values and your ability to fulfill your commitments are closely related, take some time to reflect on them. First, make a list of your personal and professional commitments. Then try to articulate your core values. Once you have both the lists, compare them. You will probably find that you have commitments unrelated to your values. Re-evaluate them. 

The world has never seen a great leader who lacked commitment. If you want to be an effective leader, you have to be committed. Being committed involves risk. True commitment inspires and attracts people. It shows them that you have conviction. They will believe in you only if you believe in your cause .People buy in to the leader, then the vision. Commitment starts in the Heart. If you want to make a difference in other people’s lives as a leader, look into your heart to see if you’re really committed. Commitment is tested by action: It’s one thing to talk about commitment. The only real measure of commitment is action. Arthur Gordon acknowledged, “Nothing is easier than saying words. Nothing is harder than living them day after day.” Commitment Opens the Door to achievement: As a leader, you will face plenty of obstacles and opposition- if you don’t already. 

Be of good cheer. Do not think of today’s failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.  And there will be times when commitment is the only thing that carries you forward.

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thockanattu SJL

Peace

Peace is a journey of a thousand miles and it must be taken one step at a time.  When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other says Mother Teresa. Order and beauty go together. The fair flower of peace does not grow among the weeds of an ill-regulated life. The radiance of a deep inner serenity is the product of disciplining both in the heart and in outward affairs. He who is united with the divine will, enjoys even in this life, a perpetual peace.

Every leader in the world aims to find a lasting solution to the problems that beset our planet, but so far, peace on earth has continued to be an elusive dream. There are many movements, organisations and fraternities all over the world that promotes the idea of world peace. Why is the world peace so difficult to achieve? Perhaps the answer lies within our self. What have we done to make the world a better place to live in? How have we treated our brothers and sisters and our neighbour? Fulton J Sheen gives psychological suggestion for acquiring peace of soul. Never brag, never talk about yourself, never rush to first seats… never use people for your own advantage, never lord like a symphony orchestra. God is the conductor. When nations turn to Him for direction, there is harmony; but when they turn away, then there is confusion and strife.” it over others as if you were better than they.

Is it possible to achieve world peace? When we start doing good to other people, we can inspire others to do the same. By carrying the good deeds forward, we can multiply the number of people we touch with our goodwill and eventually it will spread and infect others. We cannot expect peace in the world unless we give that in our heart we are prepared to sacrifice. In this holy season of Advent Jesus the Prince of peace is promising us his lasting peace. May we empty ourselves of our complacent attitude and all that destroys our peace to experience this lasting peace promised by the Lord. 

Madam Galli-Curci, the famous singer, made this observation, “The world is like a symphony orchestra. God is the conductor. When nations turn to Him for direction, there is harmony; but when they turn away, then there is confusion and strife.”

Sr(Dr) Lilly Thockanattu SJL

Relationship

All Feel better and do better when you give them attention, affirmation and appreciation. The nest time you make contact with people, begin by giving them your undivided attention, affirm them and show your appreciation for them in some way. Then watch what happens. You will be surprised by how positively they respond. To build relationship, begin by listening to people’s life stories, their journey so far. Your genuine interest in them will mean a lot to them. Try to learn as much as you can about the people and do your best to win their hearts. Your relationships will define you. And they will influence your talent-one way or the other. Choose wisely. If you want to add value to people, you have to value them first.

We need to focus on finding people’s strengths and pointing them out. Most people have strengths that they rarely get to use. Those strengths may be job skills, knowledge, general abilities, personality characteristics, or other attributes. If you want to influence others, do not try to impress them. The people with charisma, those who attract others to themselves, are individuals who focus on others, not themselves. If you boil relationships down to the most important element, it’s always going to be trust- not leadership, value, partnership, or anything else.

When it comes to relationships, yourself image restricts your ability to build healthy relationships. A negative self image will even keep a person from being successful. Take an interest in people, this may sound too simple, but it really all starts here. You have to show people that you care about them by taking an interest in them. If you’re not a people person, that may be the first step you need to take. Look for value in every person. 

Psychologist and New York Times best-selling author Phil McGraw state, “I always say that the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. You’ve got to be your own best friend first.”In 1937 the granddaddy of all people-skills books was published. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling more than fifteen million copies. That book was How to win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie. What made this book so valuable was his understanding of human nature. His simple wisdom was to remember and use a person’s name. We should be aware of the magic contained in a name. The name sets the individual apart; it makes him or her unique among all others. From the waitress to the senior executive, the name will wok magic as we deal with others. Remembering names can help enhance your personal image, improve your style, and most importantly, increase your impact on others.

Are we prepared for relationships?  Are we willing to focus on others? Can we create a win-win relationship?

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thokkanattu SJL

Friendship

Friendship is mutual goodwill and love of two persons who accept each other in a profound manner in view of reciprocal growth. “To be friend is to be yourself for another person,” said the Scottish philosopher John Mac Murray. In friendship, one shares one’s inner most thoughts and feelings with the other. Friendship is a loving commitment of two or more persons. It begins when two or more individuals discover that they have something in common. So friendship is an open, trusting, abiding and reciprocal relationship of affection often based on common interests.

Friendship is one of the greatest gifts human being can receive. It promotes care, concern and understanding. It also helps us grow in self-knowledge. In friendship, we discover not only our friends but increasingly more about our own selves. Friends motivate us to expand our outlook on life. They challenge us to grow in our ability to trust. It guarantees happiness and joy in the midst of the worst tribulations. Friends help us experience love and mutual acceptance. Friendship involves presence-both physical presence and presence of mind. It requires perseverance because it is a never-ending, ever-growing relationship.

The book of Sirach 6:10 and 14 says a faithful friend is a life-saving remedy, and those who fear the Lord will find one. The faithful friend is a secure refuge; whoever has found one has found a treasure. Jesus shared himself with his friends saying, “I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father”(Jn 15:15) Jesus also had special friends, like Lazarus, Martha and Mary. Among the disciples too Jesus has special friends like Peter, James and John. The friendship of Jesus was based on purity of intention. He did not expect anything in return from his friends except their love and loyalty. In times of trial and tribulation, Jesus was present to support them. He proved the depth of his friendship by giving up his own life for his friends. Look at the list of Jesus’ friends. They were mainly from the lower strata of society who would not be able to repay him for the good he had done them.

A friend is one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thokkanattu SJL