The Finer Side of Life

When we love somebody, we usually forget all those bad things in the other and when we hate somebody we ignore all that are good in the other. That is how we usually express our personality. This sort of controversial approach is not limited to love and hate dramas only. We generally behave as if decided to love and trust every other every time. But are we so true? In ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ (‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ is a non-fiction novel written by the American columnist, Mitch Albom in 1997), Mitch Albom has shared many individuality development exercises from his Sociology professor, Morrie. In one of the sessions, he suggested that we are to stand, face to face with another and fall backward with closed eyes, relying on the other to catch us. He said that most of us are uncomfortable with this, and we cannot let go for more than a few inches before stopping ourselves. Albom further said that in a group of students where Morry tried this exercise, only one girl followed exactly what was suggested. She crossed her arms over her chest, closed her eyes, leaned back to fall but did not; at the last instant she was caught by her assigned partner. Morrie then smiled and said to the girl, “You see, you closed your eyes; that was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too – even when you're in the dark, even when you're falling.”  This Morry experiment says that not many surrender to blind trust. 

However, at least Nelson Mandela is not going to endorse this world view. Mandela wrote a live story in his book, ‘Long Walk to Freedom’. At that time he was imprisoned in Robben Island, where he had a very brutal officer, by name Badenhorst. A few days before Badenhorst's departure, Mandela was called to the main office. General Steyn was visiting the island and he wanted to know if prisoners had any complaints. Badenhorst was there as Mandela went through a list of demands and complaints. When he had finished, there spread a loving and affectionate smile on his face; it was the first time that Mandela saw Badenhorst look at somebody with a sense love. Badenhorst spoke to him directly. He told Mandela that he would be leaving the island and added: “I just want to wish you people good luck.” Manadela became dumbfounded as he heard these kind words. He was amazed and says that his words resembled that of a passionate human being. Mandela soon realized that this officer had a different side of himself which they had never seen before. Mandela concludes the story saying that this incident could tell him that all men, even the most seemingly cold-blooded, have a core of decency and that, if their hearts are touched, they are capable of changing. Mandela says that he behaved like a brute because he was rewarded for brutish behaviour. Mandela wants us to review our custom style of judging others with just a few experiences with them. Every human is trustworthy and they live according to their conscience – be it integrated or not. Both Mandela and Morry are united in suggesting us to trust others. Why trust another? The more we trust another the more we learn to trust ourselves. It also helps others to trust us more thus creating the strongest of social bonds on earth.