Blooming Stars - Swami (Dr) Snehananda Jyoti
All ashrams are meant for married couples as well as celibate persons who have freely and consciously committed themselves to that way of life, and as long as they choose to stay in that way of life. Marriage is seen as a lasting commitment as it involves one’s spouse and progeny. Celibacy on the other hand becomes a lasting or permanent commitment through ongoing conscious choice and commitment. No institution in this world has the power to make laws related to fundamental human rights such as marriage or celibacy. To get married and to stay celibate are fundamental human rights that like any other fundamental human right need to be exercised in full freedom and discernment without any kind of family or societal coercive influence. It might be noted that voluntary celibacy freely chosen for all for a period is highly recommended as it will help better appreciate one’s marriage, and deepen one’s commitment. The period of sathyashram certainly is a time of celibacy. Intentional and conscious celibacy for a period during the transition period as a preparation for marriage and sevashram can also be immensely helpful. The three years between 22 and 25 can be a very appropriate time. The traditional brahmacharyashram (literally, the stage of moving in God later came to be understood as the stage of a celibate student preparing for other ashrams) life envisaged celibacy. Interestingly people who continued celibacy or those who became sanyasis or sanyasins or joined religious congregations and took the vow of chastity came to be known as brahmacharis, i. e., those who move in the Lord. The question then is: “What about those who marry?” Are they moving in the Lord any less? Absolutely not. That is why the term brahmachari should not be appropriated by celibates. Besides, marriage also needs to be marked by chastity. Because a person is married he or she cannot do anything he or she wishes; marriage is not a license for uncontrolled sex or lust or imposition of one spouse’s desires on the other through coercion or manipulation.
Any relationship with another human being including the most sacred relationship that can be had in marriage needs to be guided and marked by God’s plan and will. Celibacy in itself is not an end. It is good if one is called to it, and if it helps oneself to work better for God’s kingdom. One needs to be able to stop being a celibate through discernment of God’s will without institutional penalties and social stigmas. Traditionally sanyasa (the life of renunciation) was meant for celibates only. Sanyasa for committed couples proposed here is much more difficult as it involves a man and a woman as a husband and a wife committed in marriage. The strongly held opinion that celibacy is a prerequisite for sanyasa is dated and biased. According to Judeo-Christian scriptures marriage is very important as, for instance, in the creation story of Genesis God wanted male and female to complement each other in mateship, union and communion. In the New Testament section of the Bible, Paul of Tarsus, one of the most prominent disciples of the Lord, loudly complains of the poor treatment the celibates (Paul himself and Barnabas) were receiving in comparison to most of the apostles and Disciples of Christ including Peter, the first Pope, who were married. All the apostles and disciples except Paul and Barnabas were accompanied in the ministries by their wives (1st Corinthians, chapter 9). This situation was reversed when celibacy was mandated for priests. Gradually celibacy and virginity acquired a preferred and superior status fetching higher respect in modern times till the shift in the second Vatican Council, the supreme body of the Catholic Church, held from 1962 to 1965. (To be continued).
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All ashrams are meant for married couples as well as celibate persons who have freely and consciously committed themselves to that way of life, and as long as they choose to stay in that way of life. Marriage is seen as a lasting commitment as it involves one’s spouse and progeny. Celibacy on the other hand becomes a lasting or permanent commitment through ongoing conscious choice and commitment. No institution in this world has the power to make laws related to fundamental human rights such as marriage or celibacy. To get married and to stay celibate are fundamental human rights that like any other fundamental human right need to be exercised in full freedom and discernment without any kind of family or societal coercive influence. It might be noted that voluntary celibacy freely chosen for all for a period is highly recommended as it will help better appreciate one’s marriage, and deepen one’s commitment. The period of sathyashram certainly is a time of celibacy. Intentional and conscious celibacy for a period during the transition period as a preparation for marriage and sevashram can also be immensely helpful. The three years between 22 and 25 can be a very appropriate time. The traditional brahmacharyashram (literally, the stage of moving in God later came to be understood as the stage of a celibate student preparing for other ashrams) life envisaged celibacy. Interestingly people who continued celibacy or those who became sanyasis or sanyasins or joined religious congregations and took the vow of chastity came to be known as brahmacharis, i. e., those who move in the Lord. The question then is: “What about those who marry?” Are they moving in the Lord any less? Absolutely not. That is why the term brahmachari should not be appropriated by celibates. Besides, marriage also needs to be marked by chastity. Because a person is married he or she cannot do anything he or she wishes; marriage is not a license for uncontrolled sex or lust or imposition of one spouse’s desires on the other through coercion or manipulation.
Any relationship with another human being including the most sacred relationship that can be had in marriage needs to be guided and marked by God’s plan and will. Celibacy in itself is not an end. It is good if one is called to it, and if it helps oneself to work better for God’s kingdom. One needs to be able to stop being a celibate through discernment of God’s will without institutional penalties and social stigmas. Traditionally sanyasa (the life of renunciation) was meant for celibates only. Sanyasa for committed couples proposed here is much more difficult as it involves a man and a woman as a husband and a wife committed in marriage. The strongly held opinion that celibacy is a prerequisite for sanyasa is dated and biased. According to Judeo-Christian scriptures marriage is very important as, for instance, in the creation story of Genesis God wanted male and female to complement each other in mateship, union and communion. In the New Testament section of the Bible, Paul of Tarsus, one of the most prominent disciples of the Lord, loudly complains of the poor treatment the celibates (Paul himself and Barnabas) were receiving in comparison to most of the apostles and Disciples of Christ including Peter, the first Pope, who were married. All the apostles and disciples except Paul and Barnabas were accompanied in the ministries by their wives (1st Corinthians, chapter 9). This situation was reversed when celibacy was mandated for priests. Gradually celibacy and virginity acquired a preferred and superior status fetching higher respect in modern times till the shift in the second Vatican Council, the supreme body of the Catholic Church, held from 1962 to 1965. (To be continued).
To read more issues from Blooming Stars, kindly Click Here
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