Malaysian Driver

Once, I was on a visit of Malaysia along with my wife. The visit was in connection with a conference on security and the venue was Penang. It is a beautiful island and a popular tourist destination. We thoroughly enjoyed our visit and went around the whole island. During the course of our stay at Penang, I hired a taxi one day for going around the town for half a day from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. for the two of us. The charges were fixed at 120 ringgits. 

This arrangement was made on the previous evening. During dinner when we shared this information with some of the other participants, two of them got interested in joining us. We had no objection to that because it would give us some company as well as help save some ringgits also. When contacted, the taxi driver also had no objection but now demanded 160 ringgits for all the four. We all agreed to this arrangement. 

Next morning, the taxi arrived at the hotel five minutes before 9 a.m. and the driver informed me about his arrival. At that time, we were on the breakfast table along with the other two participants who were to join us for the trip. Somehow, we noticed that they were reluctant to join us. My guess was that they had dropped the idea during the night, perhaps on account of the cost involved but were not very forthright about it. Instead of conveying their doubts, they started advising us also to drop the trip. Since no advance had been paid, they also suggested that the driver be made to wait without conveying our decision. For sometime, we tried to convince them about the economy of the trip as well as the embarrassment that would be caused in case of cancellation, but failed. We then decided to go ourselves, even if it meant paying 160 ringgits. 

As a result, when my wife and I approached the waiting taxi it was close to 10 a.m. When we told the driver about the difficulty of the other two passengers, he smilingly accepted the situation and agreed to take us on the previous arrangement of 120 ringgits only. This came as a surprise to us, which only increased our respect for him. The driver took us around the tour in a very cordial way and showed no hurry in order to compensate for the delay. Not only this, he worked as our guide also and took us around to many places, which we had not thought of earlier. He also helped us in our shopping as well as in having lunch, which took more time than what we had planned for. All this resulted in delay and when we returned to the hotel, it was 2:30 p.m. It meant that we had delayed him by one and a half hours. I, naturally, felt like paying him more than the agreed amount and offered some extra ringgits. But I was amazed to see his response. He very firmly and politely turned down the offer. Instead, he asked whether we were satisfied with his services, which we obviously were, more than our expectations. Though I could not pay him more money, I certainly gave him a silent salute and also saw a glimpse of nation-building in his gesture. 

Rakesh Mittal I A S

Follow Traffic Rules

Traffic rules and regulations are not made just for the sake of having rules, but they are for our own safety. If we don’t follow the traffic rules strictly, then how will it help us in our safety? It is kind of a chain reaction. If you break a traffic rule, out of 10 people near you, atleast 3 to 4 will break the rule following you and it will go on. So it is important that we become inspiration for others to follow the rules and if possible, guide the ones who are trying to break the rules and explain to them that if they do not follow rules they might meet with an accident. So many times innocent law abiding people meet with accidents due to faults of others.

Traffic laws are designed to protect you and other drivers on the roads. While they may sometimes seem irritating and constricting, they must be obeyed for a safe journey.

You must always pay attention to traffic signals and signs. Use common sense. If others are driving rashly, drive defensively.

Make sure that your car is as close to perfect working order as possible. Cracked windshields, missing or broken extension lights, poor exhaust systems and even too many people in your car can be hazardous.

Simple traffic rules, if followed by everyone can save many lives. Make sure that you stop at the red light signal and proceed further only when the signal is green. Fasten your seat belt and drive in your lane. You should not exceed the speed limit and never use a mobile while driving. Never drink alcohol and drive. Do not horn unnecessarily as it may distract others and use low beam at night, slow down near schools and hospitals and give way to emergency vehicles like Ambulance, Police and Fire brigade. Old, handicapped and blind people should be given preference to cross the road and pedestrians should make it a point to cross at Zebra Crossings. Most of the accidents can be averted, if all the citizens are law abiding.

Dr Archana Bharat

Equanimity

Equanimity refers to a balanced mind in adverse circumstances. It is easy to be calm and poised when things are fine and dandy. But it is very difficult to maintain composure and an evenness of mind under strain and stress. It is certainly a virtue in short supply. But it is a goal well worth striving for as serenity and peace of mind depends on that. In Indian philosophical and religious thinking, equanimity is not just a state of mind but truly describes our true, detached, and undisturbed nature which is gradually revealed and made aware through spiritual practice (sadhana), and thus it becomes a pre-requisite for self-realization. In Patanjali Yoga Sutras, equanimity (upeksha) is considered to be one of the four sublime mental attitudes along with loving kindness (maitri), compassion (karuna), and joy (mudita).  In Buddhism, equanimity is the steady consciousness of everything impermanent in this world. A mind filled with equanimity is exalted and flourishing; it is without hostility and ill-will. Actually we are all called to be in a continuous, conscious state of equanimity – a peace that comes from continuous surrendering to what is at any given point, and acceptance of what comes in our way while engaged in doing our very best to make our life meaningful and purposeful.

In these columns I have written a couple of weeks ago a piece on tough love. It related to a close friend of mine with whom I had some initial arrangements in connection with some properties. In the midst of on-going negotiations he got what he wanted from me due to my deep trust in him, and quickly created legal documents on the basis of our verbal exchanges while I was in good faith negotiating with him to come to final agreements that would also produce legal documents for me. From what transpired  I realized I had been duped as he had no plan to honor his verbal promises. In retrospection I realize that he was stalling with verbal assurances. Not only did he block my phone calls but also slapped me with some spurious law-suits. He knew too well how averse I was to law-suits and spending time money and energy with lawyers and courts. Even though I pleaded my own case (pro se) in the court and asked the judge to make his own judgment from the facts presented, the law-suit went nowhere. The only comic relief in the court came from none other than myself, an old-man, a swami-priest with a long walking stick and wearing saffron lungi (wrap-around) and a  modified loose kurta (Indian shirt) with a specially knitted cap in the midst of a spectacle of lawyers donning flowing black robes of colonial times while speaking Manglish (Malayalamised English) that they alone could understand. My friend turned plaintiff also evaded out of court settlement suggested by the judge and his own lawyer and heartily endorsed by me. After my realizing that I became a victim of betrayal of trust, things came to a head in the office of a circle inspector (head of several police stations) in front of whom I put a question to my friend related to his promises. His unscrupulous denial and lying through his teeth to my face clinched the issue for me. The financial loss was enormous. The emotional loss of friendship was devastating. There and then I decided to cut my losses and move on considering my path marked out for my mission in life. Of course everyone has to make his or her decision on the basis of emotional and financial cost-benefit analysis.  I made my decision calculated not to let the case touch my being and soul. Equanimity is about not letting unfortunate events managing us and guiding our spirit.

Equanimity is not stark detachment or cool neutrality.  It is really a state of balancing between indescribable experiences at the peak of the mountain and unfathomable anguish in the valley of sorrow. It is the bed-rock foundation from which we launch into the art of living and loving. It is necessary for moral and spiritual development. A life that is bitter is lost; and a life that nurses injuries and betrayals is stuck in the mud; and a mind that keeps scores of what could have been and should have been is spinning its wheels going nowhere. Equanimity is the cherished and precious possession that everyone can have and no one can take away. It requires taking care of toxic and cancerous relationships and friendships. Sad news and betrayals will keep on coming. A life lived in trust, hope, and love alone, in spite of all perils, will determine who we are. Equanimity will, according to situations, anchor us, steady us, and steer us on our chosen course in calmness.

Swami Snehananda Jyoti 

Blind Music Teacher

He was completely blind. From all beauty standards, he was truly ugly. He was a Muslim. Forty years back, it was difficult for a conservative Hindu family like ours to keep a home tutor like him to teach music to a young girl, who happened to be my elder sister. He had been recommended by the dance teacher of my sister, thus he was called. He played some tunes on the harmonium and he was an instant hit. My grandmother also agreed to keep him as a home tutor, as he was a real master of his art.

The classes started. I, being the younger brother, also used to sit beside my sister. These were the instructions of my parents. I could understand the motive of such instructions only when I grew up. He used to play the harmonium at an incredible speed by using four fingers at a time. This in itself was an amazing experience for me. He started teaching some traditional raga songs to my sister. Though, I was not his official student, I still learned a few tunes. While he played the tunes, I always wondered that he was probably not using his brain for playing the tunes. The time sound waves took to reach his ear was probably much higher than the time he was able to play the next note. I felt as if, his fingers themselves had the memory required to play the tunes. Later, I learned the concept of reflex action in my biology classes. I always wondered whether music can also be played using the reflex action phenomenon.

Today I can also play the keyboard at a reasonably fast pace. I strongly feel that the reflexes required to play music are not always coming from our brain. They are some well practiced reactions of the fingers, which automatically move to the next key on the keyboard organ. These reactions are probably stored somewhere inside our fingers. When I apply the same principles to human reactions to certain circumstances, I feel that our non-verbal reactions and behavioral patterns are also governed by some well practiced reactions of the body.

I have seen a very senior person in a serious business meeting, getting up and killing mosquitoes around, just out of habit. All of this brings me nearer to the understanding of the importance of right "Sanskaars" or habits that we give to our children from the very beginning. Probably we want them to tune their entire body along with their minds to the right chords. The purpose is that even the non-verbal, habitual behaviour and reactions should be right.

Dr. Sunil Ji Garg

Respect

Respect is a gesture of deep reverence, gratitude and gratefulness to the Creator. When we respect our fellow beings we are in fact respecting God himself because each of us is a part of God. Every culture has different gestures expressing respect and reverence for a deity or to human beings.

Respect is the acceptance of the other as they are. So respect should start from the heart and not to be an external show. If it is a show, then it becomes an imitation and pretence. Respect human beings- respect their individuality, respect their differences. And that is possible only if you respect your own individuality. Great people are respected anywhere without demand. Rich people are respected for their money power and influence. In our context people living in the lower strata are not respected. So they need to be respected and made comfortable. Being friendly and hospitable to such people always imprints a feeling in them that they too are part of the system and they are wanted in the society. Everyone likes to be respected and likes to get importance. It is the game of the ego. 

One day a kind visited the Zen master. The Zen master did not even get up when he saw the King coming. The King felt very strange and surprised. However the King asked, “Which is higher, a worldly king, or the king of dharma? The Zen master replied, “Among human kings I am higher; among the kings of dharma I am also higher.” Hearing this surprising answer, the king was very pleased.

The next day a general came to  visit the Zen master, who not only got up from his seat when he saw the general coming, but also showed him more hospitality in every way than he had shown to  the king. After the general had left, one of the disciples asked him, “Why did you get up from your seat when a person of lower rank came to see you, yet you did not do so for one of the highest rank? The Zen master replied, “You don’t understand. When people of the highest rank come to see me, I do not get up from my seat; when they are medium quality, I do; but when they are of the lowest quality, I go outside of the gate to receive them.”

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thockanattu SJL

Scientific Discipline 3

In our life the opposite attracts. Man attracts woman and woman attracts man. Always the opposite is attractive. Life is a play of attraction of the opposites. Yin attracts Yang and vice-versa. This is the way of nature, of biology. Even spiritualism is not affected by this rule, although it is a different journey altogether. Spiritualism is a pilgrimage to self-nature, to being oneself. We don’t have to seek through spiritualism that which attracts us, that which is our opposite. On the contrary, we seek that which we are- we seek our own pristine nature, our original face. In youth everyone is so active, and as we grow old all activity begins to ebb. Just for the reason that the youth is packed with feminine and masculine energy, so young men and women become busy building and preparing for adventures. With the advent of old age, the fire of life dims considerably. By this time men and women come to know all about each other, and so the pull of the opposites withers away. Too much familiarity breeds indifference.

As it is the natural law of life that the opposite attracts, so it is the natural law of spiritualism that self-nature attracts, not the opposite. Here the similar, the same attracts. Because of this, we find ourselves in trouble when we apply the ordinary law of the world to spiritual discipline. Therefore, a scientific discipline for the spiritualism should be understood, whose basic law will clearly say- no law of biology applies to spiritualism. In biology opposites attract and in spiritualism self-nature is the magnet. Spirituality is actually our immersion in self-nature. In spiritual journey I don’t have to reach the other, I have to reach myself. Of course, our life long habits come in the way.

I have heard a story for a scholar. When electricity became available, a rich man had his house electrified. Soon after this a relative from village visited him who has never seen electricity in his life. He was only familiar with lamps and lanterns as instruments of light. After the night’s dinner, the guest was put in a room for the night’s sleep. But the guest was faced with a serious problem- the problem of electricity. Since the light in the room was very bright, the man could not sleep. How to extinguish the light was the problem. He fetched a ladder from some where in the house to reach the bulb hanging in the ceiling, to blow out the light. But, even with repeated effort of blowing it of with breath failed him completely. He examined the bulb from several angle but failed to understand miserably.   He felt embarrassed to wake his host for this problem and the whole night went tossing in the bed without sleep till the host cam in the morning. Host understood the issue and pushed the button to switch the light off. Now this man had no idea of light controlled by a distant switch. And we can not blame him for that.

All our life’s experience can be summed up as ‘attraction of the opposites’. So even when we enter the world of spiritualism, which is different dimension altogether, we carry out old ways with us. We try to blow out the electric light with our breath, and we fail to think of switch. This error is centuries old and enduring.

Wishing you good health & happiness,

Dr. Dwarakanath, Director, Mitran foundation- the stress management people

Artificial Gold

There is a known family that stays in the same locality in Lucknow in which we do. At present, only the husband and wife stay at Lucknow as their children have settled outside. They visit us often and, at times, his wife also visits alone. His wife came to our house one day. It was during my office hours and so my wife also was alone at home. That day an incident took place in which the gold chain of the 

lady was snatched by a thief when she was near our home. The lady was frightened by this incident and took shelter in our house narrating the whole development. Her husband being out of town, she could not even think of reporting the incident to the police. 

Next day, when her husband returned I advised him to report the matter to the police, which he immediately did. I also spoke to the Inspector General of police, who happened to be a good friend of mine, apart from being a good and efficient police officer. The main purpose of my speaking to him was to convey to him the perception of the law and order situation in the town which was being greatly damaged by such incidents. As far as this particular case was concerned, I expected no relief. But to my utter surprise, the relief came very soon. Within three days, my friend got a call from the police station saying that some chains had been recovered from a gang and they could visit the police station to identify theirs. The couple did so promptly and picked up a chain which they claimed to be theirs. The chain was restored to them immediately. This was a great surprise for all of us and the lady’s joy knew no bounds. 

The next day, the lady was advised to consult the goldsmith about the genuineness of the gold. To their utter dismay, it turned out to be of artificial gold. Their entire joy disappeared in no time and now they were sadder than they were at the time of loss. The matter was again reported to the Inspector General who helped in recovering the real one. 

Without going into the intricacies of the matter, I look upon this incident with some amusement also. The lady, herself being incapable of distinguishing between real and artificial gold, enjoyed both equally and in this particular case, she enjoyed the artificial gold even more than the real gold. But the same artificial gold gave her so much sorrow when identified by the goldsmith. The message is that most of us keep on enjoying artificial things and waste life in the process. It is only when we come to know the reality that the joy disappears and we try to seek real joy, which is within all of us. Let us, therefore, give up our artificial joy of objects and seek the real one of divinity. 

Rakesh Mittal I A S

Help Sick People

LAL 03 240114 Help Sick People

Even close relationships can become strained when one of the pair becomes seriously ill. By reaching out to a sick friend, you not only provide much needed assistance, but also find ways to cope with the situation yourself.

A sick person probably feels miserable, so send him a card with a warm message to brighten his day a little.

If you take a road accident victim to the nearest Hospital, it may give him a new lease of life.

When a neighbour, friend or relative falls sick you can help them with simple tasks like cleaning and cooking. You may also prepare food and take it for them or bring their medicines.  Make sure they are not lonely or bored, be there for them and talk to them. Ensure they get plenty of fluids. Remain in communication with your sick friend. Very often, people are there with cards and calls when they first learn of a friend’s illness. After a few weeks, this kind of support can taper off, leaving the sick friend lonely and depressed. Keep the support coming, even if it is only by e-mail. It uplifts a sick person’s sprits when she knows that her friends are thinking of her.

Donate freely to a place that helps people who are sick. Collect books from your neighbourhood and take them to a hospital.

If you can spare some time to care for patients at a hospital it is the noblest form of social service.

Dr Archana Bharat 

Nature Mysticism

In the beginning was the world. The world and all in it were good.  In due time, humans appeared in the world. Only humans have freedom and awareness. As humans we are aware that we are aware. Humans were intrigued by nature and its various elements and forces. Our early ancestors developed a mystic relationship with nature. That mystic relationship is what is called nature mysticism here. This relationship is pure, natural, and spontaneous; and we are all called to mysticism. This relationship suffered markedly as humans gradually got alienated from nature with the development of city living. With the decline of truth and righteousness over thousands of years, our civilization currently got hijacked by material wealth, power, and control. It must be pointed out on the positive side, though, that consciousness of human rights and democratic principles has expanded over the years. In that sense humans have advanced. Other enslavements such as personality cults, poverty in the midst of plenty, exploitation of nature and its resources are rampant.  It is of paramount importance for our civilization to regain its purpose and direction. The nature mysticism can only be healed and restored as humans return to nature, and re-engage nature. As humans lived in and actively engaged nature, they conceived forces in nature that were above and beyond them. These were gods for them. Finally they brought together all these forces in a monotheistic conception and conceived a Super-force called God. The gradual evolution of the concept of God, say in the Old Testament of the Bible, is fascinating. All the literature found in the Old Testament, Vedas, and the Vedanthas (Upanishads and Bhagavad Gita) are gotten from Nature Mysticism.

In nature mysticism we created our own gods or God who did what we expected of them. These gods or Super-God punished, rewarded, or graced us according to our deeds or according to God’s will or wish. When our prayers were not granted, God was not nice to us. We know God as unknowable or indefinable. Yet we went about our life as if we knew this God by defining God, and giving to this God benign qualities and attributes. We have not been trained to take things as they come, to surrender ourselves gracefully to the inevitable, to accept things that we cannot change, and to accept what we are given by destiny or permitted by God when we do not get what we prayed for. We still do not have the wisdom to realize that what we get could be a blessing in disguise and thus better than what we want and desire at that point. Far-Eastern, Semitic (Jewish) mono-theistic conception and evolution of God led to Christianity and Islam. Hinduism has Rama or Krishna as God. Valmiki wrote Ramayana, the story of Rama, who is none other than Krishna in another avatar (incarnation). Ved Vyasan created Krishna in Mahabharata, who guided the righteous in the war with the unrighteous. The Bhagavad Gita, contained in Mahabharata, is the teaching of Krishna as well as the essence of Hinduism. Were it not for Vyasan and the great systematizer, Sankara, there would not be any Hinduism as it is today. According to Christianity, Christ as the Anointed of God existed from the beginning as the Word (Logos). The Word became flesh as the historical Jesus who, in spite of being innocent, was crucified by this wicked world, but rose from death by his power over life and death as the victorious Christ who overcame this world, and said to those who believed in him: “Live in my words, you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free”. The Sanatan Dharma (The Eternal Righteousness) culled by Indian sages from the best of nature mysticism and proclaimed by Hinduism as a way of life says: “Satyam vada (Speak the truth); Dharmam chara (Walk the righteous path)”. In a world where truth and righteousness have become casualties of greed, materialism, and consumerism, and where even many religious leaders have succumbed to the demonic powers of this world, we know we have the Kingdom of God – a kingdom of truth and righteousness, a kingdom of reconciliation and compassion – within us. Whether we believe in God or not, we have always with us what we need: the nature mysticism connecting us with the ground of our being and beyond.

Swami (Dr) Snehananda Jyoti 

Split Personality

Few days back, I was watching an episode of "Kaun Banega Crorepati", where a young boy on the hot seat was claiming that he had a split personality. He said that his one side asks him to do worldly things and the other side stops him and shows him the moral path. I wondered about the expressive power of that young boy, who was so clearly spelling out all the aspects of both his personalities. He had also kept another name of the boy sitting inside him.

This episode forced me to do some introspection. I also found another man inside me. In fact, I found more than one. I was not creative enough to keep real names of all these people I found inside me. I had a man asking me to find better stories for writing these articles; another man was asking me if I would get any financial benefit. There was still another one, who had a notion that writing these lines will make me famous like other eminent people, I always wanted to be like. There were so many others, some of them were morally supportive and some of them were quite destructive, some were silly argument makers and some were 'me always right' types.

Hats off to that young boy, who helped me look inside me. Try it for any of your thoughts today. The world of split personalities is inside every one of us. The question is which personality we are able to bring out and sustain for a longer time.

Dr. Sunil Ji Garg

Simplicity

Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought-- Hazlitt

Simplicity is nothing but an act of love, pure and simple, with one aim to acquire the love of God. Our soul is truly simple when we have no other goal than this in mind, in everything we do. The function of simplicity is to lead us directly to God without heeding human respect or our own interests. It makes us speak frankly and from the heart; it makes us act with sincerity, without hypocrisy and pretence; and finally it keeps us far from every sort of double dealing. All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single word; freedom, justice, honour, duty, mercy and hope. The only simplicity that matters is the simplicity of the heart. If that be gone, it can be brought back by no turnips of cellular clothing; but only by tears and terror and the fires that are not quenched.

To become childlike or simple:

Uncomplicate your life, be open and honest. Don’t be afraid to admit, “I can’t do that” or I don’t know.” Don’t hide your feelings or be afraid to show affection. Delight in simple things. Enjoy being you. Know who you are, what you can do and what is expected of you.  Don’t hold grudges; let the past be past. Whatever happens, do not shed simplicity. To judge from our good books, one might suppose that God tests his saints as a blacksmith does a bar of iron, to try its strength.

William Pit, the great Prime Minister, had as a friend a Scotsman called Dundas. He had grown to depend on Dundas very greatly. He said of Dundas; “Dundas is no orator, not even a speaker, but Dundas will go out with you in any kind of weather.” Dundas had none of the showy qualities, but he had something greater--- you could depend on him hail, rain or shine.

Simplicity is the badge of distinction.

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thockanattu SJL

Returned Unopened

I was through a small book of moral lessons. I know that I usually get stuck on some points, while reading. This time I got completely lost, because I found it hard to continue without pondering on the content again and again. It was the story of an old woman who gently passed away. The final rites went on as scheduled and she was laid in the tomb. Later, there went on a discussion on the message to be inscribed on her tomb. Everybody knew that she was a good woman of a decent social standing. She was quite supportive to her husband, motivation to her children but never did believe in throwing a penny out to someone else.  Everyone knew what she missed in her life. At last the parish priest suggested marking ‘Returned Unopened’ for epitaph.

It took no time for me to invite in a famous parable from the Holy Bible. Once there was a farmer who planted a tree in his vineyard. A few years passed by and this farmer came to the tree and looked for fruits but was quite disappointed to see that it hasn’t begun to bear fruits. He called his servants and asked them to cut it and throw that useless tree into the fire. Most of the humans are like this tree in the vineyard. In spite of the fact that we are here for bearing fruits and to be helpful to others, we care to enrich ourselves with thick leaves and high strong branches. No flowers, no fruits. We care only for our family, our needs, our pride, our standing and our comforts. Our life is limited to our spouses, our children, our balance, our status and our earnings. We live as barren trees in the midst of rich vineyards. The moment we turn to the vine plants, we see its’ branches bearing heavy bunches. They are of no use for the plant. It lives as if its’ only purpose is sacrificing for others. The tree neither realizes this truth nor obliges to its’ own instincts. It might be the reason why the farmer asks his servants not only to cut it off but also to throw it into the fire. 

Most of us are not different from the tree in the parable. We know that the universe has designed this world in a fashion that each being on the surface has a feeling that the whole creation is just for that. We take heavily from our society and environment. We but do not realize the fact that we would not have been this or that without drawing anything from what are around. If we do not compensate for all that we receive, the flow is interrupted and love gets stagnated within. There it becomes befitting to write: ‘Returned Unopened’. I think that the problem is that we have enough of everything and finds it comfortable to be closed in one’s own shell. The adage says: ‘Empty pocket teaches you a million things in life, but full pocket spoils you in a million ways’.

Joseph Mattappally

Metamorphosis

I had a friend who was a doctor in the Sanjay Gandhi Post Graduate Institute of Medical Sciences, Lucknow and also a senior professor in the department of gastro-entomology. His wife was also a senior professor in another department. Both husband and wife were known for their competence and patient care. It was always a joy to interact with them and I always enjoyed their company. This doctor friend of mine was suddenly detected for a stomach ailment, which called for the immediate opening of his stomach. When the surgeon did so, they found that the patient was suffering with the cancer of the intestines, which was at an advanced stage. Everyone was surprised as well as shocked to see this and more so in case of the patient himself being a gastroenterologist. Seeing the condition of the stomach, it was assumed that the patient would not live for more than six months. 

One can imagine the state of mind of the patient in such a position. But this friend of mine was a different person. Not only was he different, his family members also were different. All of them refused to say ‘no’ to life and accepted the reality gracefully. The doctor-patient had risen in his life from a humble background and gave to the society much more than he had taken from it. Even in such a condition, he decided to give the society whatever he could during the expected short span of his life. He made a request to the director of the Institute and asked for the services of a stenographer. He wanted to dictate the story of his life, and through that autobiography he wished to pass on all the wisdom he had acquired in his short life. The request was accepted and accordingly, he started dictating. Not only this, he continued to deliver lectures also, as long as he was in a position to do so. All along, his condition was deteriorating, though at a slower pace than was predicted. He and his family also had to entertain a good number of relatives and well-wishers who came to see them, as they learnt about the development. 

I also visited my friend a few times during this period. His actual condition was never reflected on his face and his responses were always positive. He was continuing with his book, afraid only of the deadline set for his life, but he was confident of seeing it through. Eventually, he won and his book was released fifteen days before he passed away. The book was released by the then governor of UP. It was one of the most solemn events of my life. There was not a single eye without tears. The author had challenged Nature and had lived a full year against an optimistic lease of six months. The book was titled ‘Metamorphosis’, an apt description of the author’s life and a true inspiration for others. 

Rakesh Mittal I A S

Help Old People

As people get older, some may start to feel like they are no longer needed in the lives of those around them. There are simple ways in which you can help elderly people feel needed and acknowledged. One way is to have a simple conversation with them and really listen to them as there are so many positive things that can be learned from someone who has lived a long and full life. Let them know that their life is interesting to you and that everything that they have been through is important and means something.

If you have an elderly neighbour or relative who is lonely, make it a point to visit him or at least call him over the phone. It might just brighten up his day.

Sometimes older people do not like asking others to take them places or do chores for them. It becomes quite hard for an elderly person who was once independent to have to rely on other people. You can do them a great favour by offering your help and services in doing their chores or taking them places.

If a person has trouble with daily activities like cooking, may be once in a while you can make a little extra food and take it to him.

You may also take them for shopping and to the doctor.

Volunteer at a nursing home or old age home and give a few hours of your time to those lonely patients who would be happy to have a visitor. It is a very rewarding experience.  

Take out some time to write to your elderly loved ones a special letter letting them know how valuable they are to you. Elderly people should be offered a seat in trains and buses to make their journey comfortable. With age, sometimes people lose their logic and reasoning. Be patient with them and deal with them politely and sincerely.

Elderly people should be made to feel important in this world and an integral part in the lives of those around them. Taking the time out to help make elderly people feel needed could make a big difference not only in their life but in yours as well.

Dr Archana Bharat

Sorry of Boss

She used to work in the department, which was heading. He was the one who had selected her in an interview for the post of a typist. She was confident. She had good typing speed. He thought that she would prove to be an extra-ordinary worker. She did do quite a lot of work every day, but he expected more. He was actually a perfectionist by nature and thus it was difficult for him to be satisfied with the normal work effort by any one in his department.

It was a shivering cold morning. He invited all his teammates to the conference room for a routine work review. He made general remarks to his team-mates, some with words of praises and some with giving more challenges. He also made a passing remark that some people in the group are passing more time in rubbing their hands rather than producing the work as per targets. He did not observe that at that particular moment the typist girl was rubbing her hands due to cold. But, some other team-mates did observe. As always, the meeting got over in a normal way. He came back to his cabin. She entered her boss's cabin. Sir! Your comment today was pointed directly towards me. I always respected you, and I never expected this from you. The boss was stunned. He asked her to sit down calmly. Tears trickled down her cheeks. Boss had no clue, how to handle this situation. He said; "I am deeply sorry. I did not mean to hurt you. I now realize that the remark was sarcastic and should not have been made." She heard the sorry and went back to her seat.

After two hours, she returned. She was quite normal by now. She said, "Sir! I never expected that a Boss will say sorry so easily. My respect for you has increased further." This was a simple episode, narrated to me by a close friend of mine. I thought it would be worth sharing with my readers. A simple sorry expressed by an elder to a younger one for a genuine reason can heal lots of rgwounds quickly. I consider saying sorry, for misdeeds on the part of the leader whether it was deliberate or accidental, as one of the qualities of a great leader.

Dr. Sunil Ji Garg

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Tough Love

‘Tough love’ is the phrase generally referred to in clinical setting to deal with wayward, delinquent, oppositional, defiant children and adolescents who engage in behaviors that are not normative for their age. The case in question that I am describing here relates to a very rich adult who does not mind betraying deep trust, engaging in anti-social behaviors, violating human rights, abusing others verbally, and threatening others who he thinks are in the way of getting what he wants. He uses money, booze, and parties to influence those in power or anyone who can help his cause. He has no qualms of conscience.  He lies, twists facts and figures to convince others that he is in the right. I came across the other day someone whom I thought was a dear friend of mine until he showed his true color in some real estate transactions. My spirituality and practical living were in great tension. I also had to take care of others whose interests were at stake due to his on-going anti-social behavior. In reality this person considered my goodness and my reluctance in taking legal actions against him to be my weakness. Besides as I trusted him I did not take the trouble to have all the legal documents prepared properly. So I was at a great disadvantage. Thus my trust cost me a great financial loss.  All avenues to communicate with him and engage him in a meaningful way even through third parties were explored to no avail. What is to be done in the case of this man?

Christ asked humanity to love one’s enemies, pray for those who persecute, and do good to those who calumniate, so we all can be children of our heavenly father, and be perfect as our heavenly father. He also wanted all to forgive others endlessly. Gandhi used sahana yoga (union with God and others through suffering) for reconciliation among all especially among Hindus and Muslims during the partition of India in the eastern section, and thus avoided enormous bloodshed. While I am deeply aware of the teachings of Christ and practice of Gandhi, I asked my assistant to call the police as a last resort to settle the dispute in the face of impending threats and abusive challenges. The police settled the issue on the basis of written legal documents. I justified calling the police as an instance of tough love to correct this man and avoid further loss. The fact I deeply trusted this man as I would trust my own son caused me enormous financial loss. The betrayal of trust is a traumatic experience and pain that will take time to heal. Every time a betrayal of trust takes place humanity suffers. We may have to have recourse to tough love to solve problems temporarily. For a lasting solution, one needs to be open to suffering, forgiveness and reconciliation. By trust that is betrayed one learns more about the other person, and ultimately about humanity in general. Of course I still stay dismayed as a spiritual person wondering what I could have done differently! Should I have put up with and suffered this person’s inhuman behavior further? I guess everyone has to make his or her judgment call.

Swami (Dr) Snehananda Jyoti 

Commitment

“Commitment is the enemy of resistance, for it is the serious promise to press on, to get up, no matter how many times you are knocked down”. D. McNally

How important is commitment to you? Are you someone who values loyalty and follow-through? When things get tough, are you in the habit of standing firm? Is your dedication undeniable? To improve your level of commitment, tie your commitments to your values. Because your values and your ability to fulfill your commitments are closely related, take some time to reflect on them. First, make a list of your personal and professional commitments. Then try to articulate your core values. Once you have both the lists, compare them. You will probably find that you have commitments unrelated to your values. Re-evaluate them. 

The world has never seen a great leader who lacked commitment. If you want to be an effective leader, you have to be committed. Being committed involves risk. True commitment inspires and attracts people. It shows them that you have conviction. They will believe in you only if you believe in your cause .People buy in to the leader, then the vision. Commitment starts in the Heart. If you want to make a difference in other people’s lives as a leader, look into your heart to see if you’re really committed. Commitment is tested by action: It’s one thing to talk about commitment. The only real measure of commitment is action. Arthur Gordon acknowledged, “Nothing is easier than saying words. Nothing is harder than living them day after day.” Commitment Opens the Door to achievement: As a leader, you will face plenty of obstacles and opposition- if you don’t already. 

Be of good cheer. Do not think of today’s failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.  And there will be times when commitment is the only thing that carries you forward.

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thockanattu SJL

On Sikhism

Even when a childhood, Guru Nanak had a mystic disposition and he used to talk about God with Sadhus. He had a contemplative mind and a pious nature. He began to spend his time in meditation and spiritual practices. He was, by habit, reserved in nature, later to become the ‘Prophet of the Punjab and Sind’. 

Today the English media and large sections of Sikhs believe that Sikhism is a different religion. This is what Sardar Khushwant Singh had to say in the Outlook “The roots of Sikhism lie deep in the Bhakti form of Hinduism and Vedanta. While the Adi-Granth is essentially a distillation of Vedanta in Punjabi, the last Dasam – tenth is a compilation of tales of the valor of Hindu goddesses. Out of the 15,028 names of Gods that appear in the Adi Granth, Hari occurs over 8,000 times, Ram 2,5333 times followed by Prabhu, Gopal, Govind and other Hindu names for the divine. The popular Sikh coinage Wah Guru appears only 16 times”. 

The beautiful composition of mystic poems uttered by Nanak is contained in ‘Japji’. It is sung by every Sikh at daybreak. The ‘Sohila’. Contains the evening prayers. In ‘Japji’. Guru Nanak has given a vivid and concise description of the stages through which man must pass in order to reach the final resting place or abode of eternal bliss. There are live stages or Khandas. The first is called Dharm Khand or “The Realm of Duty”. Everyone must do this duty properly. Everyone must tread the path of righteousness. Everyone will be judged according to his actions. 

The next stage is Gyan Khand or “The Realm of knowledge” where the spirit of divine knowledge reigns. The aspirant does his duty with intense faith and sincerity. He has the knowledge now, that only by doing his duty in a perfect manner, he can reach the abode of bliss or the goal of life.  The third stage is Sharam Khand. This is “The Realm of Ecstasy”. There is the spiritual rapture here. There is beauty. The Dharma has become a part of one’s own nature. It has become an ingrained habit. It is no more a mere matter of duty or knowledge. The fourth stage is Karam Khand or ‘The Realm of Power”. The God of power rules over this realm. The aspirant acquires power. He becomes a mighty hero. He becomes invincible. The fear of death vanishes. 

The fifth or the final stage is Sach Khand or “The Realm of Truth”. The formless One reigns here. Here the aspirants become one with God. He has attained Godhead. He has transmuted himself into Divinity. He has attained the goal of his life. He has found out his permanent resting place. Now ends the arduous journey of the soul. 

Guru Nanak again and again insists thus: “Realise your unity with all. Love God. Love God in man. Sing the love of God. Repeat God’s Name Sing His glory. Love God as the lotus loves water, as the bird Chatak loves rain, as the wife loves her husband. Make divine love thy pen and thy heart the writer. If you repeat the Name, you live; if you forget it, you die. Open your heart to Him. Enter into communion with Him. Sink into arms and feel the divine embrace”.

Indian Thoughts Archives

Land for Grave

I have a young Muslim friend who is in his thirties. He is a very enthusiastic person and always carries a cheerful disposition. He is also a member of the Kabir Peace Mission and often visits me. One day when he came to me, he appeared even more cheerful. On being asked about the reason, he told me that he was happy because he had purchased the land for his grave on the previous day. This was something for which I was neither prepared nor had heard of before. I knew that Muslims bury the dead body in the earth but the fact that, for this, land has to be arranged in advance, was a surprise to me. Hearing the cause of his cheerfulness, I became curious and desired to know more about the deal. He told me that land in Lucknow was getting costlier day by day and the same was the case with graveyards also. He was happy because he could get the land at a reasonable rate and could pay the price easily. He further said that arranging land for the grave was an essential responsibility and he could get rid of it so early. Now onwards, he would be able to live peacefully. 

All this amazed me and I wondered at his preparedness for death at such an early age. Then I enquired about the measurement of the land he had purchased for his grave. He told me that the graveyard he had chosen was a prestigious one and only six feet by two and a half feet land is given to the buyer. In this way, he had purchased only fifteen square feet of land, as more than that was not available to anyone. He was quite satisfied with that also. His narration of these facts increased my respect for him. But more than that, it was the message he gave to all living persons which is important. 

Who does not know the fact that life is a journey from the womb to the tomb? But how many of us take it that way? Most of us spend our lives in accumulating wealth and other material possessions. Quite often, these possessions are acquired at the cost of others. While excessive possessions are a potential cause of sorrow for the possessor, this tendency also deprives many others of their essential needs. In this way, the resources of the nation are wasted. The fact that at the end of this journey only six feet by two and half feet land will be available to us should be reason enough for us to live gracefully, as well as to let others live gracefully. My young friend demonstrated this point so simply and easily by purchasing the land for his grave. 

Rakesh Mittal I A S

Respect Your Elders

Our elders have done a lot for us, directly or indirectly and most of us owe everything to their kindness and love. They are ahead of us in age, wisdom, maturity, experience and education. It is they who guide us throughout our childhood and teach us what is right and what is wrong.

When we show them respect whether by touching their feet or folding our hands, it is a way of expressing our love and gratitude to them. Besides, elders have also been through all the phases that you are going through and know a lot more about the world than you do because of their experience.

It is likely that you do not agree with the beliefs and the sentiments of your elders. All younger generations have always disagreed with their elders and it is these differences that bring changes in human society.

It is often said that the modern generation has lost respect for the elders. Partly this is because, with changing times and cultural influences, youngsters no longer know what is interpreted as disrespect to elders.

In earlier times too, there were disagreements and debates but youngsters would quietly express their views and if there were arguments, they would not raise their voices. Nowadays children fight back, causing an ugly war of words.

However when you do simple things as a mark of respect, elders become aware that youngsters care for them, and they respond with affection and kindness.

When you give up your seat as a mark of respect to an elder, it is also because younger people have the strength to bear discomfort, so it is natural to show consideration to those who are older.

Our elders have accumulated a lifetime of experience so we should listen to their advice and also take their blessings which are invaluable. It is in our own interest that we give them our time, our listening, our interaction and our gratitude.  

Dr Archana Bharat

Life is a Predicament

When I think of life as a predicament, I am reminded of a poster where a frog high in the air having its legs on two flimsy straws and trying to balance itself on them.  Life is a perplexing or trying situation for those who are trying to live conscientiously. It is fragile and unpredictable. Anything can happen to anyone at any time. To cite two recent examples: two days ago at a police station I witnessed an event that was truly heart-renting. The 24-year old young woman in this case was brought up in a very orthodox, conservative religious family in a village in Kerala. She was educated with great expectations in nursing with a Bachelor of Science degree with money on loans. She was employed in a famous hospital in a major metropolitan city in the country. Last time the woman’s parents heard was just before Christmas from the woman’s supposed to be husband who said that he got married to their daughter in a registered civil marriage. The woman’s parents contacted me in utter despair and heart-broken state. 

I suggested that they file a missing person’s report as they did not hear from their daughter over three weeks, and as she did not come for Christmas holidays as planned earlier. Through my intervention a quick appointment was scheduled at the police station with the girl and her husband that she was living with near the home town of the girl unknown to the parents. The girl’s family had no use for the boy from a dalit (low caste) family and from a different religion, and who originally was from the same village. It was found out at the police station that the registered marriage took place over six months and the young woman now was on emergency leave from the hospital. The reason for the emergency leave she gave was serious sickness of her mother. The young man, now her husband, who appeared to be haughty and arrogant, and who had a condescending smirk on his face, stated that she was having a relationship with her since she was 14 years of age. (At that time he was 21 years of age). He would not even allow her parents to spend some time with her alone. The police were not helpful to say the least. They were needlessly flinging at the parents The Indian Constitution that assured the right of a woman who attained majority to marry whomever she wished. Interestingly, the young woman had spent a month with her parents recuperating from her broken leg after about three months of her registered marriage. The parents did not have the slightest clue about her marriage during the entire six months of her registered marriage. The woman’s father had a brief episode of nervous breakdown while talking to his daughter. While a policeman suggested hospitalization, I calmed him down sufficiently so he could minimally function. He pleaded with her to go home with him. The daughter was not only unrepentant but outright defiant. The second example relates to a young man from the same locality as the young woman above. He was working hard overseas and was financing his wife’s beauty parlor near his native home. Recently he to his surprise and shock found out that his wife had eloped with another man with his investment. 

Times have changed. Things that are happening are not any more fantasies that are topics of story books and movies. The society and the religions are in deep slumber engaging in pompous celebrations and external appearances. They are not equipped to handle real issues and the fast changing times humanely and adequately. Laws validating human right are essential, and they need to guide us all for orderly, healthy, and non-violent living. I would have been the first one to bless the couple and help the woman’s parents to accept the inevitable given some chance and some time to work things out. The woman was not also given the opportunity to take responsibility for the life of lies she was living. The situation could have been redeemed if the woman were to be repentant, and said to the parents: “I am sorry I did what I did. At the moment I thought I had no other choice but to go through a registered marriage as I thought you would not allow me to marry the man I loved. Now what can we do to set things right  so I can live the married life I chose as your loving daughter and you can be my loving and caring parents as you always have been, and  I can also have loving relationship with my younger sisters?” I was waiting for that opportunity to work through deep betrayal of trust from the part of the woman and the rigid, unbending attitudes of her parents, to bring about forgiveness and reconciliation among all. Very unfortunately that did not happen. Now death of a relationship of over 24 years, beginning with her conception and birth till seeing her in a very unfortunate setting, between the woman and her parents occurred. A lot of grief and loss needs to be worked through. Can that relationship be resurrected? I hope so. Only time and proper healing can tell. The present societal structures especially the police system do not allow that. Even in that tragic situation I gave the couple my blessings for what they are worth. I would like to think that I left with them the possibility of a very small future opening. In fairness to the woman I must also say she may have panicked and did what she did in the context of a marriage proposal that was coming from the US from her cousin who is a physician there. Here while I talk about very superficially about life as a predicament, I want everyone to know that no one is immune to the above human situations I have witnessed and narrated. Only a spirituality based on a solid value system can save our society that is running frantically to acquire that almighty rupee or dollar by hook or by crook. 

Swami (Dr) Snehananda Jyoti 

Doubt or Faith

I did my schooling from a public school in Nainital, which is now in Uttarakhand. Our school syllabus was quite advanced and modern mathematics teaching used to begin quite early. I was just eleven years of age at that time. The problem of proving that root of two is an irrational entity was being taught to us. The solution begins with the statement, "let's assume that the root of two is a rational entity". I asked the teacher, "Sir! Why we first assume the reverse to do such a proof". The reply from the teacher still knocks me quite often.

"O my child! Science begins with doubt and lands up finding the truth."

I always remembered this line all along my studies of science and technology. Later when I started debating with people on the subject of religion versus science, I added the corollary that;

"Religion begins with faith and lands up doubting what the truth is".

Now-a-days, I struggle very often to justify these two statements to myself. Is it necessary for people with scientific temperament to doubt the things to know about the truth? Is this doubt another name for 'curiosity'? Why is it so, that most religious preachers are not able to explain the things, the way science explains things. Why do we still talk about ancient books only when we talk about religion? Why don’t we add up or modify the knowledge that has been acquired by the society after those ancient books were written.

The answers I tried to come up with after churning my mind gave me some temporary relief. I write down my feelings as follows. Hardcore doubt and blind faith both are two extremes and are not justified. In science also, we have faith that we will find the result, and only then we are able to move further. In religion too, we are able to gain faith only when our doubts are successfully removed. Let both these assets of human society, science and religion, go hand in hand to grow eternally.

Dr. Sunil Ji Garg

Repentance

         Rassool once heard his neighbor Mohammed Mansur, a pious Muslim, say that 'for the last thirty years I am repenting for a sin and I don’t know how Allah will deal with me.'

       Rassool did not respond, thinking that he would have committed a big crime and it is better if he himself find a solution. Rassool had great regard for his religious life but the more he thought of his undisclosed sin the less he regarded his neighbor. He listed all possible sins that Mansur could have done and slowly confirmed himself that he is a big cheat who might have done all that. Rassool decided to avoid his company and abstain from talking to him.  This continued for weeks.

In the mean time, an urge to know what exactly the sin of Mansur was began to pop up within him.  In his curiosity, Rassol asked Mansur’s wife what serious crime Mansur had done. 

“His sin?” Subaida, his wife asked him. Knowing that it is exactly the cause of Mansoor’s sad face that Rassool is referring to, Subaida said, 

“It is a sad story that happened some thirty years back. At that time he was running a shop in the big bazzar.  One day when he went to open the shop, he saw that all the shops, except that of his were razed to the ground in a big fire, the previous night. He then said, ‘Al- Hamdo lillah’ (all praise to Allah). Immediately he realized the mistake. He knew that he missed to feel the losses of all others. He many times has asked me how he could be called a Muslim. For the last thirty years he lives in repentance of that big offence.”

(Collections from Folk's Track - Indian Thoughts)