Discovery of a Friend

There is a saying, ‘In prosperity your friends know you and in adversity you know your friends’. It means that the attitudes of our so-called friends change when we are in trouble. All of us experience this reality some time or the other. If we analyse this in detail, we can prepare ourselves to face the situation in a dignified manner, without getting shocked when it happens. We have to accept the fact that one cannot pick a friend, or purchase a friend, or compel anyone to be a friend. A true friend has to be discovered. In our good times there is no dearth of superficial friends, while true friends may get distanced or even lost. In our ignorance we fail to distinguish between them and consider the former as true friends. The mistake is realized when we face trouble. By that time it may be too late and ourtrue friends may not return to us. The purpose of this analysis is to avoid such a situation.

Friends can be divided into four categories and the distinction is visible only during trouble. In good times it may not be possible to realise the distinction. Conversely, a false friend may appear more dear. We shall now describe these categories of friends. The first category of friends can be called ‘Rejoicers’. They not only rejoice or, rather, exploit our good days but also silently rejoice at our bad days. Outwardly they may show false grief in our trouble and if it persists and they see no early possibility of its going, they leave us like rats on a sinking ship. It would be no surprise if they also mutter the words, “Good, it happened to you”. This is the worst category of friends and in a sense, they are worse than an enemy. We must be careful about such friends right from the beginning as they often prove to be harmful.

The second category of friends are called ‘Sympathisers’. They are better than the first category. Such friends show sympathy in our trouble but do nothing beyond that. Secretly, they feel relieved, thinking, “Thank God, it did not happen to us.” If the trouble persists, they gradually distance themselves and disappear in due course. We may at best call them harmless friends. We need not be unduly concerned or upset about them and should accept their attitude as the way of the world.

The third category of friends can be called ‘Helpers’. In practical life this is the best category of friends and they may be called friends in the true sense. They are truly pained by our trouble and try to help us. They genuinely ask the question, “Why did it happen to you?” This is the category of friends we discover during our bad days. We can share our problems with them and also ask for their help, if required. Of course, we should not expect too much from them and only reasonable help should be asked for. It is also seen that many of such friends are those whom we do not consider so close during our good days.

The last category of friends is very rare. We may call this category the ‘Sacrificers’. They are prepared to make any sacrifice for a friend in trouble. They ask the question, “Why did it not happen to us?” ‘ Such persons can either be a relation like a mother, father, wife, daughter or someone falling in the category of ‘Mahapurusha’. The sacrifice of a close relation is generally out of attachment while the sacrifice of a ‘Mahapurusha’ is out of compassion. History has produced such great men from time to time. Persons like Gautama Buddha, Dadhichi, Mahatma Gandhi, Subhash Chandra Bose, Bhagat Singh, Guru Gobind Singh, Hazrat Mohammad, Jesus etc., all fall in this category. Their sacrifices were for the whole of humanity and in a way, they were universal friends. We should not expect sacrifices from our friends to help us in our personal troubles. Therefore, friendship should be restricted to the ‘Helpers’ and we should be happy if we have some friends falling under this category. The first category is rather worse than an enemy while the second category is no better than acquaintances, and we should accept them that way. Only the third category are true friends and we ourselves should also fall in the same category.

Thus, troubles help us to discover our true friends. Troubles are sent by God for some purpose and this is one of them. With the help of true friends we are not only able to face failures, sorrow, anxiety or other problems gracefully but it also eases the trouble. The famous poet ‘Rahim’ has rightly said:

It is good to have trouble for short time. It gives us an opportunity to know who is our well-wishes and who is not. Why not start to discover a friend right now, instead of waiting for troubles to come first?

A Smile is a gently curved line ..... ..... that can set a lot of things straight !

Rakesh Mittal IAS

Avoid Cell Phone Abuse

The invention of mobile phones, their upgrades to high-end smart-phones with many popular and fascinating features, their easy availability in the consumer market and their affordability have ensured that almost every person we meet on the streets can afford to carry a cell phone. With more and more companies providing connections and SIM cards at extremely affordable rates, almost every person tries to get hold of it. Cell phones are indeed one of the greatest and most useful inventions of mankind. Cell phones help people to stay in touch with others even in different corners of the world. They come equipped with web cameras, audio and video recorders, mobile gaming, PDA, internet, video and music players etc.

But there is another darker and graver side to the story too. Widespread use of cell phones has made way for its rampant misuse too, especially by the youth, anti-social elements, terrorists and other criminals. Camera phones, that come with MMS enabled facilities are used to take unauthorized explicit photos, shoot pornographic videos etc. and spread them. Moreover, since SIM cards can be easily available and there is no proper facility for fool-proof checking of one’s records, these phones are being misused by terrorists for various activities.

The young generation is so engrossed in sending SMSes, talking over the phone and spending most of their time in the virtual world that in the real world they are gradually becoming ill-equipped and repressive. This leads to communication problems and also cause disturbances as one is always busy texting and receiving texts.

When you use a cell phone while walking through the road, you may not see a vehicle coming close to you and since its use in public places increases the reaction time, you may not get time to move away from danger. Mobile phone use while driving may cause accidents as cell phone conversation distracts the driver’s attention, increases reaction time and reduces visual field attention.

Use of mobile phones in gatherings, meetings, entertainment places etc. disturb others. Imagine, you are in a public place trying to concentrate on something or in serious discussion with your friend or enjoying a peaceful moment, when suddenly a stranger starts talking loudly on his cell phone. Your concentration breaks or your conversation ends or your peaceful moment is disturbed, you become a victim of cell phone abuse. You get irritable or annoyed with the caller. With increased use of camera phones and multimedia facilities, cyber crimes such as fraud, theft and forgery are increasing.

We should educate our children to use cell phones moderately. Mobile phones are both a boon and a bane. It is up to us to use them responsibly and make them a boon for the rest of our lives.

Dr (Mrs) Archana Bharat

Canonization

A very close friend of mine, a Hindu religious man who has been living an intense religious life for the last forty years wanted to know about the canonization of Fr. Kuriakose Chavara and Sr. Euphrasia on November 23, 2014.  Well-disposed to Christ and Christianity, he wanted to know more specifically about the two miracles needed to reach sainthood. I told him that from all the news paper accounts I read, Fr. Kuriakose and Sr. Euprasia appeared to be great souls who deserve to be saints. Fr. Kuriakose, especially, was a remarkable visionary who ingeniously, creatively, and single-handedly helped advance the Kingdom of God by tirelessly and relentlessly working for the whole of humanity. It is noteworthy that he started a Sanskrit school in a land cursed by castes before the era of Sri Narayana Guru who proclaimed one caste, one religion, and one God for humanity. I told my friend that I do not think miracles are needed for someone to be proclaimed a saint as miracles can be questionable and as faith and science operate in different realms, and do not mix. I think it is inappropriate to bring science to validate miracles. 

All Christians in the early Church were called saints. As centuries passed, the saints were proclaimed for their extra-ordinary lives by popular acclamation. To me every person who lives a conscientious life according to the teachings of Christ, and discerns and follows the will of God is a saint. Canonization is a futile exercise that, in a world of enormous poverty and financial hardships, involves enormous energy and expense that could be better used for the oppressed and the down-trodden for whom mainly Christ came as he proclaimed in his manifesto (Luke 4, 18-19) read during the only one reported reading of scriptures from the Prophet Isaiah in a synagogue in a history-making event.  Canonization is a distracting anachronism from the decadent Middle Ages. What the Church currently needs are courageous and visionary holy men and women with vision who may not be recognized by the world but who, nonetheless, can tackle the much needed renewal and reformation of the Church. It is interesting that  saints, some of them questionable, are churned out in great numbers beginning from the last decades of the 20th century even as the Catholic Church is reeling from the Second Vatican Council, whose much needed reforms are benignly neglected. The Church has and will always have remarkable holy men and women whether the official, hierarchical, patriarchal church recognizes them or not. It is also interesting to note in passing that a modern pope who not only slowed down or stalled substantive and meaningful reforms advocated by the great Second Vatican Council in his autocratic, authoritarian style  but also was over-enthusiastic in considering Blessed Mary, mother of Jesus,  to be Co-Redemptrix with Christ. The Church is not the place where a person's, even if he is the pope, to impose a  private devotion, especially when that one is theologically erroneous.  This pope was rushed to canonization with undue haste even before the stipulated period of five years after his death. The question is not whether or not he is worthy of being publicly recognized as a saint. The question is whether we are making the changes needed to create a climate for preaching the Kingdom of God where the least person in this world is seen and treated as Christ.

I do not have any problem with saints who can be good models for humanity. From what I know I consider Fr. Kuriakose Chavara to be a good model, fully devoted to humanity and God. I do not think we need mediators (saints including Mary) between God and us. To me Christ alone, in fact he is one too many, is sufficient. The lives of saints can inspire us in our on-ward journey to God who is truly within us and in our midst if we take the time to be truly aware.

Swami Snehananda Jyoti  

Principle of Insecurity

He was a computer service engineer. On a particular day he received a call from his Boss, asking him to look into the problem in the computer his Boss was working on. He diagnosed the problem in minutes and asked his Boss to take the computer to his service lab for half an hour for repairs. His Boss trusted him a lot and requested him to return the computer as soon as possible.

So when the computer of his Boss came into his possession, the first thing he did was to copy the users folder data into his external hard-disk. After that he fixed the simple problem he had diagnosed and then went back to Boss’s cabin to receive the accolades he knew he will get.

Few days later, the Boss was amazed to see a specific file sent from an undisclosed sender in his mail account. This was a confidential file which should not have been in the email. The Boss immediately understood the whole story. He summoned the service engineer and asked him about the file. The service engineer broke down very soon. He lost his job.

People who know the IT world will definitely believe this story easily. Data theft is being done by a large number of so called trusted people. In the above story the onus of the security error was not taken by the Boss. If I leave my house door open and go to the market, the chances of theft will increase manifolds. Every law of land will catch the thief and put him inside the jail. There is no law which says that if I have left my house door open and went to market, I can be punished. This principle of insecurity applies in relationship too. If relations in group of people are open in a way that outsiders take liberty to enter frequently, theft of peace is bound to happen. Let me leave this write up here to have a lot of food for your thoughts.

Dr. Sunil Ji Garg

The Prodigal Son, Out Again!

The parable of the prodigal son is a famous story from the Bible. Bible is not the only Holy Scripture that the world has. Every holy book contains similar moral stories in plenty. But, most us think that there are only limited explanations for each story, just only what we frequently hear. The parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) is a solid example. Recently, I happened to read another version of it, as told by Matthew Boudway (USA). I terribly feel that there is stage at which a genuine aspirant has to shed off all parables and examples he has heard, seen or experienced, because they easily become knowledge. May be this is one reason why every spiritual master asks all seekers to vacate their brains before they set off. Parables and moral stories might become stumbling blocks, if mixed with a little rational mind. 

This parable was told by Jesus. According to the story, a man had two sons. The younger son demanded his share and having got it, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.  At last he had to work in the fields feeding pigs.  He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. When he came to his senses, he returned to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.  “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate.  For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

Meanwhile, the older son who was in the field became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, “Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!” “My son,” the father said, “you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.”

Matthew Boudway does not question the attitude of Jesus who wanted to expose a God (father) who is infinite and unconditional love. But he asks if what the father in the story gave was a fair reply. According to him the story should have ended, with an excuse from his father more or less like this: “My son, you have a point. I hadn’t considered your position. You’ve been loyal and steadfast. You've always done your duty. And no one can deny you lead an exemplary and objectively well-ordered life.” Further, the father should have told his younger son, “Listen, It’s true I’ve missed you, and seeing you again after such a long absence got me worked up. I’d like to help you out, I really would, but my hands are tied. It would be unjust, unmerciful even, for me to pretend that your current situation isn’t a complete contradiction of everything I tried to teach you. And what would the neighbors think? They might imagine I approve of prostitution and improvidence. Even your brother might get the wrong idea. No, I can't afford a misunderstanding like that. It would ruin everything. Why don't you come back after you’ve recovered the money you wasted? Then we’ll talk. Until then, your brother and I wish you luck. We’ll be with you in spirit.”  

Joseph Mattappally

Tenure on This Earth

Dr. Dharma Vira an ICS officer was known for his competence and integrity. He once occupied the highest office of the Cabinet Secretary in the Government of India. Thereafter, he served as Governor of West Bengal and Karnataka. For a long time he was the Chairman of the Board of Governors of the Administrative Staff College of India, Hyderabad. Everywhere he displayed both qualities in ample measure.

When Dr. Dharma Vira entered his nineties, he issued an appeal to the national leaders and thinkers, suggesting certain measures in the interest of the nation. I also received a copy of the appeal and a phrase in this caught my attention. He had started with the sentence: ‘I have now entered the 90th year of my life and it also indicates nearness to my tenure on this earth.’ For civil servants, the word ‘tenure’ is a familiar term and they often talk about the tenure on a particular assignment. However,the phrase ‘tenure on this earth’ is something which is applicable to all of us and I am going to elaborate upon it here. Civil servants are often transferred from one post to another. They also go on deputation to a particular organisation or to a Government of India post. Also, the nature of their jobs varies so widely that they generally do not get attached to a particular job or place. This helps them greatly in maintaining their objectivity, enabling them to deal with a situation or person in a fair manner. Perhaps, the objective behind transfers is mainly this.

The same is the case with a deputation. A civil servant goes on a deputation for a fixed tenure after which he reverts to his parent organisation. In the case of the Indian Administrative Service, the rules regarding a tenure are quite stringent, and an officer usually does not get even a day’s extension. After the completion of a tenure, they revert back to their state cadre. They can again come on deputation after a fixed period known as the cooling period.

Officers aware of this reality do not get attached to their job and work with fairness and firmness. They gladly go back to their original places after the completion of their tenure. They do not think of an extension and make no efforts for it. But those who seek an extension face many problems. At times they compromise on their principles and face disgrace. They forget the fact that even the extended period comes to an end and their problems are only postponed. Of course, there may be exceptional situations where an extension may have to be sought or accepted for larger interests, personal or public. 

Similar to an officer’s tenure is our life on this earth. We know that it has to come to an end one day. The only difference is that we are not aware of the length of our tenure, though it is also said to be fixed by destiny. Since this is so, we should live on this earth in the spirit of acceptance. Getting attached to earthly things will add to our pain at the time of transfer or reversion from here. If we live in a detached manner, we shall not only be able to live gracefully but also to leave gracefully. This is what is expected of a civil servant on a tenure posting and from all of us during our “tenure on the earth”.

“Short as life is, we make it still shorter by the careless waste of time.”

“That it will never come again is what makes life so sweat.”

Rakesh Mittal IAS

Exercise Your Right To Vote

Voting is a right that throughout history, many have fought for and sacrificed everything to achieve. It is a right that millions of people throughout the world still do not enjoy. The right to vote is a privilege. By voting we express our opinions, participate in our society and help to determine our future.

Abraham Lincoln called democracy “Government of the people, by the people and for the people”. It means that we are not here to serve our government; but that our government is here to serve us and we have the right to decide who will represent us and how we want to be represented. We, as a democratic nation have one of the greatest rights any free people can have: the right to vote. The ultimate rulers of our democracy are not the President, Prime Minister or other ministers, but the voters of this country. You may sometimes wonder that with millions of people who vote in any election, does your vote really count? Perhaps you feel that if you can’t really make a difference why bother to vote. The truth is  that your vote does count and you do make a difference every time you vote. Your vote holds your local and national leaders responsible for the decisions they make. It sends a message about the issues you think are important. Your vote affirms our rights as free citizens to elect our government and take part in democracy. Without voting, there could be no democracy. The government you elect will decide whether to raise or lower taxes, make economic policies that could affect your job and decide when or if to use military force. Voting connects citizens with their political process, as well as to one another. By taking part in an election and by expressing our point of view, we help our democracy work. By agreeing or disagreeing with our leaders we show that the political system can accept different points of view and can resolve them. Voting helps to safeguard our freedom. A democratic community can only survive if its citizens see participation in the political process as a duty and a responsibility. It is critical to understand that if you oppose a particular person, go and vote against him otherwise you will be helping him to win. Good candidates must be supported, irrespective of whether they may win or not, so that they are encouraged rather than embarrassed to stand for election. Our single vote is not important, but collectively all our votes make a huge impact we need to show the political parties that we mean business.

Vote because you care about your community. Vote because you believe in free government and want to add your voice. Vote because it is the right thing to do and it will make you feel good to participate and have a say.

Dr(Ms)Archana Bharat

What is at Stake?

Indispensable truth, our goal, a meaningful and purposeful life. An overwhelming majority of people does not think and ask questions. They accept the solutions to life traditionally handed down to them. They do not examine life. They just exist, vegetate, and disappear from the scene of life and the world. They do not create any waves; they do not leave any mark. They are very convenient persons who engage in past rites and rituals. They are followers and worshippers of conformity. They are loved by opportunistic and self-serving political and religious leaders, and conservers of the status quo. They are amply rewarded for their unquestioned loyalty. By following the beaten path, they make their life safe and risk-free. Yet life has progressed only on account of the very few who built on the past by critically examining the past,  and asking challenging questions, and finding creative answers that changed the past for the better. They unclogged the stagnant and stinking channels and restored a new life-giving flow of fresh water. Charting a new course, often risking their lives and forgoing their privileges, they changed life and the world. They toiled through night living in the un-explored wilderness and inclement weather while their contemporaries lived in their comfortable mansions indulging in their undeserved privileges and wealth gained from extortions and corrupt practices. They took the 'road less travelled by' making the difference for all of us as the poet, Robert Frost, aptly describes them and celebrates them. To which class of people do we belong?

More on a practical level, let me ask some inconvenient questions related to events in the world. Does Vladimir Putin, isolated as a pariah in the G-20 Summit, and seen there with a despondent face, get away with imperialistic empire-building through his aggression and annexation of territories of Ukraine? Is this what the Russian people want? Does Benjamin Netanyahu think that his policy of ten-eyes-for-one-eye, ten-teeth-for-one-tooth succeed? Do not the Jewish people want to co-exist with the Palestinians affording them the same human rights and an honorable place - a state -  in the family of nations that they enjoy? How come decent nations have been ignoring so long the undeserved and tragic plight and suffering of the Palestinians? What prompted Pope Francis, a good and popular leader in many ways, to invite Amritananadamayi, under the clouds from serious accusations by Gail "Gayatri" Tredwell, an ex-amma devotee and disciple for 16 years, of physical and sexual abuse in her ashram, to Vatican for a  visit? Any credible inquiry into abuse, I think, has been muffled by vested religious and political leaders. Is not exoneration of misdeeds good for all whether they are powerful or powerless? Why is the pope not working towards equal rights for all by initiating discussions on the ordination of women? Is not the militant, terrorist  Islamic State (IS) a radical face of Saudi Wahhabism (Refer to the article in The Hindu, November 19, 2014) as Indicated by the writer S. Irfan Habib, holding the  Maulana Abul Kalam Azad Chair, National University Educational Planning and Administration, New Delhi? Why are the  state-approved gross human rights violations allowed in Gulf States, especially in Saudi Arabia, the world center of Islam, while doing business with them affording unprecedented, enormous oil wealth? Is India that  is touted by its prime minister to be the Vishwa Guru (World Teacher) so primitive that a 21-year old woman student of Delhi University would be brutally murdered by her parents a few days ago for marrying a man of her choice?

Humanity is at perilous cross-roads. Humanity needs to move from the bullying, manipulating, might-is-right road to a road that respects human dignity and the human rights of persons everywhere. And that is my earnest prayer. 

Swami Snehananda Jyoti 

Lets Talk Negative

“Come! let us have lunch together”. “I know you must be having some vested interests, that is why you are asking me for lunch”, comes the answer. “OK! Let’s make a new beginning”. “Every time you make a fresh beginning and make excuses”, again comes a typical reply from him”. “I really believe in retaining my relationships”. “As if, I believe in breaking them”, was the annoying answer I got.

This is a typical series of talks; we face in our day to day life. Believe me every sentence can be negatively answered. If I say “I love you”, the negative minded answer could be, “Say it clearly, what do you want from me, nobody loves without any expectations”.

One day I decided to practice negativity for whole day. It was little difficult to frame replies in the first hour of the morning but within an hour of talking, I became fluent in answering everything in a negative way. After few hours of talking negative, I realized that many sentenced that I framed consciously that day were actually used by me while responding in real life interactions earlier. This negative talk game was an eye opener for me. I was ashamed of me that while I preach positivity and try to depict myself as a positive person on every forum, had such a negative person wrapped as a part of my habit.

I can’t say that I will change in a day, but I do feel an element of realization inside me. So friends! Try to play this negative talk game for few hours with a trusted and understanding partner and you can also jump into the fathoms of your own personality.

Dr. Sunil Ji Garg

Are We Alive?

"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.” Matthew 23:27. How Jesus addressed the ministers of the land is not much disputed because everybody knows that the Scribes and Pharisees were not as clean as they appeared to be. Peeping into the inner meanings of these verses we see that Jesus saw those hypocrites as corpses well in vaults. Corpses are lifeless, they are rotten. Did He mean that they were really dead? 

Let us look at a model human being of a mature temperament. Where does he live? He exists in a world of rituals for sure. He is blindly following all social, religious and cultural traditions, sensible or not. He hesitates to be an individual. He sees only his own personality everywhere and does not even think of another entity of any nature, having equal rights. He has a pack of formal expressions that fit all occasions. Does he ever open his mind? Can such a being be alive? As Pope Francis recently commented, in spite of all the explosions in communication, man actually is alone (alone in a custom cocoon?). Though alone in the crowd, they damage themselves and also their world around.

There is the famous story of a boatman who worked all day in the river that separated the city from the village. His small open boat was always busy porting the villagers back and forth. One day morning, as usual, just before moving out he shouted aloud, “Anybody else?” No answer; he gently turned his boat and moved a few meters into the river. Suddenly, a gentleman appeared from nowhere shouting, “Me too!” Before the boatman could do anything, the guy had jumped into the river in a hurry. He caught hold of the boat. In his anxiety to get into the boat, the boat lost its balance and gently sank there, dropping all the passengers in water.

This boat story is not directly related to any hypocrite. But, all the hypocrites with double faces definitely are like the guy who came in the last minute and caused damage to all in the boat. This is because hypocrites never see anything else in the universe worth the pleasures of existence. They think that it is for them that the globe is rotating; it is for them only that Sun and Moon shines; it is for them that there is Winter and Summer; it is for them that the trees bear fruits and plants bear flowers….. The more we turn away from the solidarity of nature the stronger the universe pushes us into the abyss of loneliness – in effect, a world of lifeless spirits. 

Joseph Mattappally

Living as an Observer

The central message of the Gita is that we should live in this world like an observer and perform our duties in a detached manner. Almost the same message is given by other religious scriptures also. It is said that all our pleasures and pains are the results of our attachment to our Karmas. If we detach ourselves from our Karmas, we free ourselves from their effect. Then we achieve harmony in life and are able to face all situations gracefully.

All this seems simple but is difficult in practice. For most of us, even the suggestion that we should rise above pleasure and pain seems strange. We may at best understand the need to rise above pain but not pleasure. We forget that pleasure and pain are two sides of the same coin and both have to coexist. The exclusion of only one is not possible and we have either to accept both of them or to accept none. Rising above both is a state of mind which gives us eternal joy and makes our life happy in the true sense. Such a state can be achieved only when we perform our Karma in a detached manner for the sake of our duty. We then live in the world like an observer.

I realised this fact when I was appointed as an observer by the Election Commission of India during the 1991 assembly elections of Uttar Pradesh. I was on duty in one of the most tension-ridden districts because the then Chief Minister was contesting from there. Some officers had avoided the observer’s duty in that district and I was also advised to do the same by my well-wishers. But after some contemplation, I decided to accept the appointment and to perform to the best of my capability. I thought that, after all, I was to act as an observer and my job was only to observe and report. The instructions issued by the Election Commission to the observers clearly mentioned that at best they could advise the district authorities, if the situation demanded it. The discretion of acting on such advice lay with the district authorities only. However, the observers were free to report their observations to the Election Commission, which in turn, took appropriate decisions.

My thoughts made my mind clear and I performed my duty not only fearlessly but also with a peaceful mind. As expected, the election in the district was full of problems. There were incidents of booth-capturing, snatching of ballot-papers and then killings. I observed them in an objective manner without being mentally affected by them. I reported my observations to the Commission soon after the election process was over and, finally, the election was countermanded. Here the outcome was not so important as the state of mind I retained during the time. Subsequently, I was congratulated by my friends for performing a difficult task well.

A similar job was given to me by the Election Commission in November 1993 during the Himachal Pradesh assembly elections. It was a very peaceful election and there was not a single untoward incident. I enjoyed my job which took me to some remote villages of the state and gave an opportunity to mix with the native people. I also saw some of the most beautiful scenic spots of Himachal Pradesh.

I was again posted as an observer in the assembly election of Bihar in March 1995. This duty was also considered difficult. Firstly, there was so much uncertainty about the schedule of the elections that proper planning of the visits became difficult. Secondly, there was apprehension about the fairness of the elections and, thirdly, the infrastructure in the state was so poor that it became difficult to cover the whole area satisfactorily. I maintained the same attitude towards this task also and performed it in a very objective manner. Fortunately, my district was relatively peaceful and the district administration was alert. So everything went on well and I enjoyed my duty despite a hectic travel schedule. Again, the cause of the enjoyment was the fact that I was an observer and thus detached from the actions involved in the election process.

If we adopt a similar attitude in all our actions, they cease to bind us and we rise above both pleasure and pain. Life becomes enriching and its purpose is then achieved. Thus, living as an observer is the answer to all our problems.

¯

Rakesh Mittal IAS

Write a Good Book

A book is the best medium to give expression to your thoughts. It is a good means of spreading your ideas and knowledge. You can reach out to people all over the world through your book.

There are numerous reasons why you should consider writing a book. If you are passionate about a technology and want the world to know all about it, you could pen it down in the form of a book for all to read. If you have a desire to do something creative and different, a book project could be an exceptionally rewarding and fulfilling process. It could also increase your credibility. By writing a book you become a ‘name’ in a given area. With a book behind you, it is far easier to reach a global audience. Thousands of people can draw inspiration from your thoughts. If you write a good novel, you can provide entertainment to so many. A spiritual book can provide solace to many with problems in their lives. An inspirational book may even change the lives of many. Writing enables you to broaden your horizons. A book can potentially allow you to move into areas such as training, consulting and presenting. It enhances your self esteem and you often learn new skills during the process or expand the ones you already possess. With increased credibility and fame you can leverage your existing career. Many authors secure new clients due to their books while others get quick promotions. It can also be a financially lucrative venture because if your book sells well you earn more royalty. You leave a legacy behind and your book is read by people of the future generations.

You must write the first chapter of the book very carefully as it could be the most important part of the book. People often determine whether they like the style of the author by reading the beginning. It must have a purpose or goal which should keep the reader interested to the end. Spread your significant message out to the world through your book. You can even solve the problems in your field through your book and gain the prestige of an author. A book will expand your exposure, add credibility and increase your opportunities in life. When your book is sold all over the world, you shall get opportunities to interact with people globally. Share your experiences to inspire your audience. Share how you overcame challenges in your field to motivate your audience. Best of all your family, your friends and your parents will be so proud to tell all their friends about your book.

Dr Archana Bharat

Compromising with Truth

"Truth shall set you free" said Christ over two thousand years ago. It was a simple formula for salvation. It is compromising with truth that sets us off the course, and keeps us away from God. We lie or dissemble in so many ways. Lie results when there is disagreement between what is on one's mind and what is in one's speech. We are not talking about outright lies or deceptions. We are dealing here with distortions, partial truths, fibbings, exaggerations, embellishments, white lies and other misleading statements, that slowly but surely lead to outright lies.

I was waiting for a phone call from my nephew. It did not come when I expected it. Returning his missed call I asked him what happened. He told me that he had called me three times. I asked him if he called me three times within the last five minutes? He smiled as he knew that I knew his trick. He was truthful; nonetheless his words trying to present himself in a better light was misleading. Called a person who was supposed to be on the scene, a not uncommon statement is: "I am keeping on coming"(njan vannukondirikkukayanu). This person may not even have started one's journey. In reality this person may only thought of starting! Words are cleverly used to hide the truth by avoiding responsibility or deflecting a bad impression. Very close to a place of worship on the road on a tree hung a distracting advertisement that was in bad taste. This tree happened to be also at the end entrance of our ashram. I asked the owner if the advertisement was hung with his permission. This religious man saw no problem with the advertisement practically in front of a place of worship. When the impropriety of the advertisement there was impressed on him, he stated if anybody were to remove the advertisement he would say he removed it. Does he need to say a lie when he has a right not to have any advertisement on the tree in his property?! There are times when lies are said even when the liar does not get any benefit from lying.

By saying something with the clear intention of confusing, misleading, or deceiving, one strikes at the root of truth, slowly chipping it away out of existence. Conscience is dulled and desensitized. When lies become common and socially acceptable, truth flees. Why are we so  surprised  about wide-spread bribes and rampant corruption at all levels, when lying is so common?! Are we also surprised at children lying when adults model lying in such ingenious ways?! There is nothing in this world that is more important than truth. Truth verily is God. The great soul (mahatma) Gandhi realized that, and lived that. The time has come to take a stand when there is such a low level of truth, and when lies seem to swallow us all up. Mark twain, a great author and humorist once said: "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything". Because it is those who lie who have to remember what lie they said at any given time so they do not have to say new lies to cover up the old ones.

Swami Snehananda Jyoti 

The Last Post

Last month, in the city of Kozhikode (formerly Calicut), a hotel was attacked by a group of young gentlemen claiming allegiance to a known political party in India. They attacked the hotel alleging that it is a hub for young lovers and the hotel permits all sorts of mischiefs that hurt the State’s culture and proud tradition. However, the motive behind the attack is still under dispute. This incident would have been forgotten unless there was an announcement by a group of youngsters from Kochi (Ernakulam) which stated that they are organizing a public kiss event on Nov. 2nd.   The event organizers said that it is the right of an individual to express love in its’ purest form. On the proposed day morning itself, the said marine drive was filled with people who had assembled there to witness this typical event. Groups of people marched around the location shouting for and against the move, all inviting police interference. The mess ended up with a police cane charge and arrest of some event participants and protestors alike.

Have we got the right to kiss in public? The decision I leave it to you. Instead, I go to a live experience that wet my eyes without notice, some ten years back. I was attending the funeral of a man I knew. He was around fifty and was doing business at a place a day away from his home.  He met with an accident and died on the spot. His body lay in a well decorated box and all his family had gathered around.  Among the public who had come there, I noticed a familiar face but could not guess any possible connection to either this man or anybody in that family. He was a former classmate of mine; I walked towards him and greeted him with a smile. I asked him why he is here. He told me that presently he is living in the same place where this diseased person was doing business. We could not continue conversing for long. It was time for the functions. I attended the funeral prayers at home, followed the coffin to the Church and further to the cemetery. 

Just before the body was taken to the tomb, I met this person again at a comfortable place in the cemetery. I moved to him intending to refresh our past memories in its’ full length. In a whispering voice he asked me if I know that lady who has been standing behind the gathering. I noticed her, a lady in her forties; however, the face was totally unfamiliar. I found that she is cleaning her face with a kerchief. Her eyes were red and cheeks were wet. It was clear that she was quite dear to the diseased. My friend, turned to me and said, “She is his second wife. This man was living there with this lady and their two children. Everybody there knew that this person had a family at home also.” This information was unknown to most in his home place. Until everything was over and all left the scene, I was there watching the lady whom, I’m sure was not identified by the relatives of the diseased gentleman. She was the last to leave the cemetery. My eyes too got wet. She could not give her partner a last kiss. I assured myself that there is a fundamental error in our rich heritage. Is this a nation in which citizens are not allowed to express their true aspirations?

Joseph Mattappally

Astro Brother

These days I happen to meet him quite often. Astrology is his hobby. During his hobby phase itself, he made many predictions, which he claims came out to be true. Now he wants to convert this hobby to a profession. With my help he wanted to use the cyber world to become popular. After few initially discussions, he became quite friendly with me and started discussing things which were a sort of internal secrets of his profession. He told me that most of the predictions are actually based on the understanding of the needs of the client. He also told me that, he has a large collection of books on this subject, which are in a way copies of each other. He also claims that he has also acquired knowledge of accurate celestial calculations and he can make better predictions than others.

I was not expecting such statements to come from an Astrologer. The contradiction was evident. I know that my readers will have mixed opinion on astrology being a science or just a fake tool to fool people. I have heard numerous stories about how people became successful after following their astrologer’s advice. But, as per experiments in past many years, the theory of effect of celestial bodies on our future is far from proof. So what is the truth? I decided to explore it a little further by referring to our ancient scriptures (Ved, Purans, Gita, Bhrigusamhita), easily available for download these days. Based on commentary of many scholars on these scriptures I could understand that the “Karma” theory strongly propagated by “Gita” seems to be most prominent and most effective. The main difference in astrological prediction principles and the theory of “Gita” is that while the first one tries to en-cash our urge to know the future, the second one quashes this urge and clearly says that please do not expect and make wishes about the future.

The core fundamental of our whole system of being together as a society is based on self-control. We do need to control the urge of physical as well mental supremacy over others around. Similarly we need to learn to control our urge of knowing our future. 

Dr. Sunil Ji Garg

Positive Revenge

Akbar was the greatest Mughal emperor and ruled over India during the sixteenth century (1556-1605). He is known for his liberal approach towards religin and for his competence in administration. He had a team of nine competent ministers called Navaratnas (Nine Jewels), who looked after various departments of his administration. One of these Navaratnas was Raja Birbal, a very interesting personality. In addition to helping the emperor in administrative matters, he also entertained him by his intelligence and wit. The emperor would often test the intelligence of his minister by asking him some seemingly strange questions which were always answered cleverly. Such dialogues between them are famous even today and are read with a lot of interest.

Once Akbar drew a straight line on a piece of paper and asked Birbal to shorten it without erasing any part of it. Birbal contemplated for a minute and then drew a longer line by its side. The line drawn by the emperor thus became shorter without being erased. The emperor and everyone in the court were greatly pleased and amused to see how Birbal had tackled the problem. 

The matter ended there. I have viewed this incident with philosophical interest and have drawn an important lesson from it. The approach adopted by Birbal indicates a very positive approach. It can be compared with taking revenge without violence. In real life we come across many situations which have to be overcome without hurting anyone, including ourselves. Someone may have insulted us or hurt us, or some problem may be troubling us. A common man’s approach may be either to suffer silently or to react destructively. This helps no one, least of all the person himself. When we think of destroying someone, we create negative impulses and in the process, harm ourselves. Creative energy is thus wasted in destruction. The same situation can be dealt with in just the opposite manner. Instead of spending our energy in destruction, we may utilise it in construction. By adopting this approach, we raise ourselves above the person or the situation which has been troubling us.

This automatically dwarfs them and in the process makes us bigger. From a worldly point of view, this may be called revenge on the person or the situation which troubled us. Instances abound of greatness being the result when a person or situation has hurt someone. Gandhiji had to face humiliation from time to time and that made him more determined to secure Independence. Vivekananda passed through a phase of stark poverty and that made him so rich spiritually that he spread the message all over the world, calling upon people to eradicate poverty in order to be truly religious. Jamshedji Tata found no decent place in Mumbai to stay in when he decided to build the Taj Mahal Hotel there. Raja Ram Mohan Roy took a vow to fight against the ‘Sati’ system when he saw his sister-in-law being forced to burn in the funeral pyre of her husband. After facing humiliation and destruction in the Second World War, the Japanese constructed a new nation with greater determination and surpassed even the nations which caused them such humiliation and destruction. 

All these examples show that people did not surrender or act in a violent manner when a person or situation upset them. They overcome them constructively and in the process raised themselves above the person and the situation. This is what Birbal also did while drawing a longer line in order to shorten a line already drawn. He did not erase it but dwarfed it. That is also a kind of revenge but a positive one.

Rakesh Mittal IAS

Compromise With The Situation

Compromises are part of every long-term relationship. Either due to differences in character or differences in perception, people tend to disagree with each other. However, if they truly love each other, there is no situation in which they are unable to find a solution which satisfies both of them. People who really want to be together will find ways to compromise. None of us likes to disagree but even less we like to compromise. People abhor compromise because for them it means to fail or, at least, to choose the better of two evils. By such attitude they defy the positive aspects of compromise. We should consider compromise as a healthy way to end conflict, and focus on restoring relationships damaged by conflicts. If you have to compromise during a difficult situation in a relationship, you are in a tough spot as it is not easy to cope with.

Consider how important the situation that you are compromising about is in your relationship. If you are dealing with a small but difficult issue, be generous when compromising as it is not worth damaging a relationship over trivial issues.

However, if you are compromising about a major issue, be ready to stand up for yourself. Make sure to be calm before the discussion about the difficult situation begins.

Think about the situation from your own as well as your partner’s perspective, as situations are perceived differently by different people. Sit down with your partner and begin an open dialogue. Be sure to discuss how you feel without blaming your partner. Discuss the reasons why you feel that a compromise is necessary so that he/she may be more willing to find a solution. Remember that compromise requires both give and take. It may take some time, but working together to resolve an issue will make you and your significant other into a stronger unit. Resolve the issue and stick to the resolution. You can easily destroy your credibility by agreeing to a compromise in a difficult situation and then changing your mind. You can save yourself from an unhappy relationship.

Another type of situation in which compromise is necessary is all kinds of political issues ranging from agricultural, industrial and international relationship. To reach agreement is highly important as it has a serious bearing on the future of the whole country.

Politicians have to forget about their own aspirations and keep in mind that their decisions will influence other peoples’ lives. One should always think twice not to miss the best in life, especially if it is obtainable by means of compromise. It establishes a happy and loving relationship and guarantees political and economic welfare of a country. Legal problems can also be solved through compromise.

Dr (Mrs) Archana Bharat

Dealing with People

'Treating others the way you like to be treated' is a good principle, that is derived from the Golden Law ( "Do to others what you like others to do to you"),  is the best way to deal with people. This means treating others with honesty, fairness, respect, and a good measure of empathy together with a right attitude. Recently there was an instance in our ashram. One of the employees who had been the supervisor, and who had left the ashram on his own due to continuous problems he created for the manager and the other employees, called me on the phone. I listened to him, corrected him with regard to certain wrong facts he heard about an ashram member.  Among other things he also stated that a person who is still an employee of the ashram maligned him, spreading false information about him. I told him that I would check with that employee and get back with him. The fact this former employee called me and I listened to him created a disturbing commotion in the ashram. In the evening during satsang  (gathering of saints/ashramites for sharing and prayer) this matter came up. One of the important members questioned me and wanted to know why he called. She felt as he had  a history of trouble-making I should not have listened to him. My answer was that I did not for sure know why he called, that anyone can call me and I  feel free to listen to that person, that I do not make someone else's problem my problem, and that he could not make problems in the ashram without our permission. The aggrieved member was not satisfied with the answer I gave, and kept on accusing me saying that I do not take into account the great love the ashram members have for me, and I believe what the former employee said and not her and the other ashram members. My saying that this had nothing to do with believing what he said did not comfort her, and she stormed out of the satsang in emotional turmoil.

I discuss the above incident in detail as I find this kind of situations all too common in our everyday life. There seems to be a general expectation in society that my friend's "enemy" should be my "enemy". There seems to be a general thinking that others can create problems for us without our allowing or letting them happen. When Christ, the great teacher that he was, said: "Love your enemies" I do not think he also meant that we should like them. May be if our heart is open in loving them, we may also end up liking them as our love-energy could trigger change in them for the better. We also have situations where our former enemies have become our friends. We tend to judge people from their past history alone, and do not allow any room for them to change. We have heard great stories of people's conversions and change. Allowing room for change even in the  most hard-hearted criminal in the world might mean we have an optimistic view of the world that is more salubrious and realistic, in any case, than a pessimistic one.  That people who created problems for us in the past cannot talk to us may mean that we have un-resolved issues related to that person, or at least we are closed to that population. There may also be some anxiety or even lingering fear that that person could create further problems. But then that speaks more about our own mental state or weak mind for that matter. May be that former problem employee wanted an empathically listening ear to vent his feelings. And just venting his feelings might keep him from other problems. Anyway after telling him and reminding him of some bitter truths, for which he has not still taken responsibility, he still wants to keep in touch with me, and even see me. He may or he may not change. My connectedness to him might even mean some hope for him. When even one individual changes a bit for the better, the world changes a bit for the better. And we will change the world (all of us) bit by bit. What a consoling thought?!

Swami Snehananda Jyoti 

The Death Rituals

She was a simple, religious, pious lady. She definitely filled the criteria of this expression as found in most Indian matrimonial bio-data which explains a mother. A year back, she was diagnosed with a type of cancer, which is most deadly and the chances of surviving even for six months was less than fifteen percent. Hearing about her condition she decided to organise a religious event, so that all relatives can come and meet her. The event went smoothly, although it had its moments of emotional peaks.

Now after a year later, when she passed away, all relatives gathered again. This time the death rituals seemed to be too detailed and full of dramatic ups and downs. The real problem is not the rituals; it is the conflict amongst people who try to follow them. There is always a version of the priest involved. There is a version of self stamped experienced people. Another version comes from the family from where the lady belongs. One more version comes from the family of the daughter-in-law of the lady. The person who lights the funeral pyre is expected to sit at home for thirteen days. He could be the person who might not have sat along with her mother for thirteen hours. Incidentally, there is involvement of money at every stage. There are few gifts and offerings to be given from the family of the daughter-in-law. The menu of death-feast is also a great issue. People plan things on a grand scale. In many situations such planning and forced execution is done even when there are financial constraints. And now, there is a new system of combining all the rituals that were supposed to be done for the whole year on a single day. This way the offerings and gifts to the priest increase many folds.

Since ages there are many such things which are being continued, just because, what others will say. Some people say that it is a way to show that how much we loved the deceased soul. I am sure that the person needed the love much more when he or she is live, rather than when deceased. Our society definitely needs to wake-up to the challenge of challenging such forced rituals. I am in favour of changing the school syllabi to either understand the purpose of such rituals or to make people understand rights and wrongs, especially on such occasions when our emotions can be cashed by certain people with vested interests.

Dr. Sunil Ji Garg

A world of hostages

Recently there have been reports on four princesses held hostage in the palace of Saudi Arabia. Their mother was divorced without her knowledge. Somehow she escaped and now is in Great Britain. May be because they invited the displeasure of the king that they are held hostages for life. The reports say that they haven’t enough food and cloths. Still, they are called princesses. I remember to have read the comment of a prisoner on the worst things in prison. 10th was the foul smell, 9th was racial discrimination, 8th was getting fat without exercise, solitary confinement with no books, no blankets, no lights… came 7th; 6th was drugs that were secretly available inside, then came changing economy and prices going through the roof. The fourth was losing everyone loved; third was loneliness; the second was deaths inside the prison. The first was getting out. 

Is this world a great prison? According to Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, “In the prison house, if you think a first-class prison is very nice, but after all, it is prison house. Your independence is cut down. So similarly, here in this material world it is simply varieties. We call, This is first class. This is second class. This is third class. Actually, it is all third class…” Another view point is that since our bodies need necessities like food, clothing and shelter, nobody could be free because these are not entities that freely flow into. To get all these things we offer our time and effort. The rich who have all these at call also have worries. They neither are immune against illnesses nor free from worries on losses, where they also put their effort and earnings. Gautam Buddha talked extensively on the bondages that tie each human being here. 

Most important for any prisoner is getting out. In common life, getting out from where, is a question many do not try to answer. We do not know that we have imprisoned our dear and near on the basis of ideologies and attitudes. Even if we run out, there could be theologies and philosophies to chase us. Sensible humans conclude that freedom is the privilege of only the spirits.

Joseph Mattappally