First is not the Best

I was listening to the legendry story of the Scottish king and the spider in the cave, as my little Joe was wrestling with his English text book. For the spider, only the seventh attempt was rewarding. Are ensuing attempts more powerful? I asked myself. As I examined live examples one by one, I had to believe that successive attempts are usually more powerful. I concluded that the more one tries the more one accumulates some extra energy and so the first need not always be the best. 

Winston Churchill was once estranged from his political party over ideological disagreements. This wild appraisal on his integrity was enough to raise his self and he ended up his career as Prime Minister of Great Britain. ‘Too stupid to learn anything’, this was the comment passed by Thomas Alva Edison’s teachers. May be because of this that he could earn more than 1,000 patents in his name. Oprah Winfrey was fired from her first television job as an anchor in Baltimore, but Winfrey rebounded and became the undisputed queen of television talk shows before amassing a media empire. Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor alleging that he ‘lacked imagination and had no good ideas.’ Steven Spielberg was twice rejected by the University of California, School of Cinema Arts, but his ‘Jaws’ won three Academy Awards, later. Soichiro Honda's unique vision got him ostracized from the Japanese business community. Honda but could lead an automotive revolution in Japan. Colonel Harland David Sanders was fired from dozens of jobs before founding Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC), which is one of the most recognizable franchises in the world. As a child, Albert Einstein had some difficulty communicating and learning in a traditional manner. It’s the same dizzy boy who later won the Nobel Prize in physics with his theory of relativity. J.K. Rowling was a poor single mom when she began writing the first ‘Harry Potter’ novel. Rowling is now internationally renowned for her seven-book Harry Potter series. Charles Darwin was considered an average student and was going to school to become a parson. We see that his writings, especially ‘On the Origin of the Species’ fundamentally changing the world of science. 

In all these cases we find that there were mighty motivating reasons that kindled the fire within, be it pure struggle for existence, a challenge from the community, a wrong remark from around, an obstacle or a failure of some sort. If King Robert Bruce was thrilled by the seventh jump of the spider, we have with us persons who have jumped more than a thousand times. While developing his vacuum, Sir James Dyson went through 5,126 failed prototypes. It was Henry Ford’s 5,127th prototype that clicked. Whenever I roll through stunning stories of people who could accumulate the extra energy, I feel sorry for a generation which believes in shortcuts and which falls dead even before an energetic first attempt. The facts say that it is from challenges and failures that this success deciding extra energy ooze out to the system. What the world needs is a generation which takes failures and challenges in its’ good spirit. For most of us, repeated attempts or a series of disappointments are always personality degrading processes. 

Joseph Mattappally

Krishna on Bondage -11

We all have looked at statue of Buddha. Silence surrounds it, peace permeates it, and serenity emanates from it. Nothing can disturb his peace and silence. Even a pond is disturbed by passing breeze, by the rays of sun which turn it into vapour and takes it to sea as rain. Buddha is so still that he has no desire whatsoever to move to ocean of eternity. He says the ocean will have to come to him if it wants. For this reason Buddha refuses to answer questions about transcendental. Is there God? What is liberation? What happens after death? Questions like these are always shunned by Buddha. He gently laughs them by saying, “Don’t ask such questions that have to do with distant future. They will distract from immediate present, which is of the highest. The thought of distant future will give rise to desire to travel to it, and to reach it. And this desire will give restlessness. I am utterly contended with what I am, where I am. I have nowhere to go and I have nothing to choose and find. ” So Buddha is not indifferent to this world, he is also indifferent to the other world of God & nirvana.

Buddha says, “Even to find God you will have to pass through the swamp of hopes and fears, attachment and jealousies. Whatever I am, I am. I am utterly contented, I am at perfect peace.” So his indifference has no objective, no goal whatsoever to achieve. Look at Buddha’s face, his eyes and there is not a trace of agitation in them. They are as silent as silence itself. It is like a still lake where there is not even a ripple rises. Naturally Buddha’s peace is different. It can have neither Krishna’s outspoken bliss nor Mahavira’s subtle joy. It is true that a man of tremendous silence, who has no desires whatsoever- not even desire to find the ultimate- will attain to bliss without asking. But this bliss will be his inner treasure; this lamp of bliss will shine in his interiority, while his whole external milieu will be one of utter peace and silence. His halo will reflect only harmony, stillness and order. Bliss will form his base and peace will make his summit. 

Wishing you good health & happiness,

Dr. Dwarakanath, Director, Mitran foundation- the stress management people

No Punishment

As students in the University of Roorkee (now an IIT) during the late sixties, some of us were in the habit of playing cards. Our game was a kind of gamble called “teen patti” and we used to play it frequently. However, it was in a friendly manner with low stakes and with no greed behind it. We had full control over ourselves as far as time was concerned. Overall, it used to serve as a good entertainment and didn’t affect our studies in any way. At least we used to think that way at that point of time. 

One day, while we were absorbed in playing ‘teen patti’ in a hostel room, the Dean of students suddenly marched in and caught us red-handed. None of us was prepared for this kind of situation and by reflex we quickly wound up ourselves to face the consequences. I, in particular, was more scared. There was a provision of 100 marks for discipline at that time. Being the topper of my class, any action on account of our act could put me in a great difficulty. I had no explanation to give as our indiscipline was so obvious. However, to our utter surprise, the Dean, whom we used to hold in high esteem, said nothing and silently left the place. We were in great suspense for many days but gradually got over the phobia this incident had put us into. 

Incidently no punishment was inflicted upon us for this misdeed of ours, which only increased our respect for the Dean. Years passed since then, but it always remained a mystery in my mind as to why no punishment was inflicted upon us. I left Roorkee after graduation and joined Indian Administrative Service after few years. Though, with my own experience I could guess the intention of our Dean in inflicting no punishment on us, I always carried a wish to have a direct answer from him. Such an occasion did not come for decades, even though we did meet a few times after that. 

But more than three decades later, when I was attending a conference of distinguished IITians in Delhi, such an opportunity arose. In that conference, both of us were participants. By then I was a senior member of the IAS holding a responsible position and he had quietly settled down after retirement. After the conference, when we both were waiting for our vehicles on the porch, I posed that question to him. I was not sure whether he remembered the incident or not, but he did and gave me a pragmatic smile. His one line answer was that quite often ‘no punishment’ works better than ‘punishment’ and his purpose was well served by not inflicting any punishment in that situation. 

Rakesh Mittal IAS

Be A Good Employee

Do you want to be in your current position for the rest of your life? If not, then you have to learn to accomplish your tasks in order to be a successful employee.

Ensure that the company you are working for has a goal which you believe in. Work for an honourable establishment and if you are not happy after a time, begin to seek work elsewhere.

Behave professionally and keep a smiling face. Do not fool around wasting your time and that of others. Learn to take criticism gracefully and positively. It will provide you with valuable ideas about what people expect from you, any weak areas and what you need to work on first. Learn to do your job and do it well. Whether it is menial and tedious or tough and high paying, do your work efficiently. Cultivate good relationships with your co-workers. Treat all of them whether high or low with courtesy, respect and kindness.

When you get the opportunity to learn a new skill, receive training for a different activity or take a study course paid for by your employer – do it. It shows that you are intelligent and value life-long learning. Keep a clean job history by being punctual, not missing deadlines and keeping customers happy.

Try to reach office before time. Have a positive attitude and do not let things drag up to the deadline and then jump in to get it done in a fast flurry at the end. Do not spend a lot of time on personal phone calls. Never gossip while at work as your employer is paying you to work. Always be productive and get your work done on time and move on to the next thing as quickly as possible.

Dress well and be confident. Volunteer or be active in projects to get the job done , and don’t worry about who gets credit. Be a team player. Stay late when required. Offer junior employees guidance and encouragement.

Never argue with your boss as his opinion is always right for him. A good employee is always dependable and trustworthy. He has tact and decorum and if there is a problem in the office he deals with such issues with privacy and diplomacy. Last but not the least, a great employee has a great attitude and he helps to make work easy for everyone else by having a good spirit about his job.

Dr (Mrs) Archana Bharat

Woe to You, Religious Leaders!

All, except perhaps the power holders and the power-brokers in religions, agree that religions  are badly in need of reformation. Christ unleashed a jeremiad against the powerful Scribes and Pharisees in the Jewish religion of his time. If he were to appear on the world scene I wonder what he would tell the current religious leaders. He would begin something like: Woe to you Christian, Muslim, and Hindu religious leaders, you hypocrites, blind guides! You describe the indescribable God, and create dogmas and doctrines, and trap humans in them inducing fear of hell and eternal punishment. Ignorant guides, you ignore or go against the commandment of love – the only commandment that really matters – and formulate laws and regulations to govern and control every facet of people’s lives.  Masters of double standard, you put unnecessary and unbearable burdens on people, that you yourselves are incapable of carrying. Unfit guides, not having the experience of God yourselves, you train others in God experience. Blind guides, immersed in the affairs of this world, and lacking light and direction to journey in the Kingdom of God, you mislead others. When you do not have sufficient love and the necessary faith in the one true God, you teach your followers the superiority of your religion, and put down other religions in hatred and intolerance. Instead of cooperating with one another in compassion, you compete with one another in pride and arrogance. Instead of discerning God’s will in humble surrendering and submission, you seek this world’s laurels, approval, and recognition in your stubborn self-righteousness. Like the Pharisee of old in the Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke, 18: 9-14) proud of his virtues, and justifying himself in prayer before God in the temple in contrast to the tax collector (publican) who asks for mercy and forgiveness, self-centered religious leaders, you give the impression that God needs you more than you need God.

After having lived a rigorous religious life for 25 years in a religious setting I think I know the claims of religions, and their many leaders vying with one another for power. Certainly there are many good spiritual persons in religions. However, many canon lawyers and worldly administrators lacking in spirituality, love, and compassion appear to be at the helm of strategic positions in religions stalling long overdue renewal and reformation. We can pray that the gentle Spirit of God blowing over us can renew and transform us.

Swami Snehananda Jyoti 

The Sales Lady

The door bell mounted at our gate rings. The gate of my house is about twenty meter apart from my bed-room window. I tried to spot the person across the courtyard. It was definitely a lady. I came out and walked towards my gate. Oh No! It was the same sales lady who has been coming to our house since many years. She always says, “Look! This is the last phenyl bottle in my hand. Please buy it from me. My husband is in the hospital. I have to buy medicines for him.” Whether it is me, my wife or my children, she always repeats the same story since ages. We all know that it is just a marketing gimmick. We had rarely bought any phenyl bottle from her, that too quite long back. I do not know why, but she always returns back to our house, asking us to buy her last phenyl bottle. When we ask her to go back, she insists two three times again. We also ask her, why she makes a false excuse every time to make a sale. She just makes a face, but never says that her excuse is false. She never objected to our statement, that she is telling a lie. I do not know what kind of marketing this is.

I have seen “Insistence Based Marketing” by many vendors either coming to the door or trying to make calls. I must have received at least fifty calls in past six months from some people claiming to be representatives of a popular telecom company. These callers ask me to convert my mobile connection from a prepaid service to a postpaid service. The callers do not even know that I am already having a post paid connection. When I enquired from the parent company, they say that many tele-callers are appointed by local dealers on their own who make such requests. For the readers I must put on record, that I already have a “Do Not Disturb” facility enabled. Request to bar the calling number is of no use as the calling number keeps changing, even when it is from the same vendor.

The point I wanted to make here is related to corporate or business morals. This kind of insistence marketing is something that needs to be re-discussed inside every small or big organisation. I did consult few advertising and promotion related books that I studied during my management course. Push based promotion is required, but unless there is a pull the customer satisfaction can never be achieved. Yes! This is a Pandora-box of a long debate. So what! This issue definitely needs a discussion on the moral grounds too.

Dr. Sunil Ji Garg

Republic of Throttled Expressions

Things go viral; that is the way of the world. A man from Mumbai predicted through Twitter, a self goal in the world cup and he was the epicenter one week back. Last week, the focus was on little Katie, the daughter of a simple Google staff. This Katie learned that her Dad is not likely to get a leave on his birthday on Wednesday. She might have dreamt a pleasant outing or an entertaining get-together. She did not know who or what Google is. However, she took a piece of paper and wrote to Google: “Dear Google Worker, Can you please make sure when daddy goes to work, he gets one day off. Like he can get a day off on Wednesday. Because daddy only gets a day off on Saturday. From Katie.  P.S. It is Daddy’s BIRTHDAY. P.P.S. It is summer, you know.” 

As she expected, she was replied, “Dear Katie, Thank you for your thoughtful note and request. Your father has been hard at work designing many beautiful and delightful things for Google and millions of people across the globe. On the occasion of his Birthday, and recognizing the importance of taking some Wednesdays off during the summer, we are giving him the whole first week of July as vacation time. Enjoy!” If people across the world generally think of expressing appropriately what they need, I think India is distinct and no little girl in India is likely to try such a chance. One of the prime reasons why Indians fail to reach their goals is that they refuse to express what they really intend. Even educated guys reserve their plans and do not share it with others. How shall the Universe know what they mean? The one who wishes to set something need to speak it out at every chance he has. It makes a difference because it is not the person who truly creates what he/she intends, it is the Universe. The Universe picks up what we mean only when we speak on our plans aloud in present simple tense. 

Article 19 of Constitution of India guarantees freedom of speech. In fact, Indians are not that free but are highly restricted. Insulting other religions or beliefs is an offense according to section 295 of Indian Penal Code; defamation is denied through section 499 (India is one among the few countries in which defamation is a criminal offense); hate speech is prohibited through section 153(a) and finally section 124(a) controls offensive messages. Truly speaking, public responses in India are highly restricted by the Constitution. But, no Sections or Clauses in Indian Constitution restrict anyone’s freedom of expressing his/her needs, intentions or wants. Still, we love to reserve our freedom to express ourselves and India deserves the title of ‘Republic of Throttled Expressions’. Why not we practice the art of legibly expressing our intentions and utilizing our freedom of fair speech? 

Joseph Mattappally 

Krishna on Bondage 10

These few weeks let us analyze the life of great souls & try to understand their different approaches towards life. There is a good deal of similarity between Christ’s concept of neutrality, Buddha’s idea of indifference, Mahavira’s transcendence of attachment and Krishna’s non-attachment. These are the ways of looking at and meeting the world. But there are some basic differences too. While their end-points are similar, their approaches are very different. While their ultimate goal is same, they differ much in the ways and means they use to achieve their ends. 

There is deep similarity between what Christ calls neutrality or non-alignment with the world at large, and what Buddha calls indifference to it. As the world is with all its strange goings-on, its contradictions and conflicts, its struggles and trials, a seeker on the spiritual path will do well to keep a distance from it. But we must remember, neutrality can never be blissful. Deep down it makes us sad. If I don’t choose life, if I reject it completely, if I say I take neither this nor that, and then I will soon stop flowing, I will stagnate. If a river refuses to move in any direction, it will cease to flow, it will stagnate. It will turn into a closed pool. It is true that stagnant pool of water too will reach the ocean, but not in the way river reaches it. It will first vaporize under sun and then into clouds and then descend on the ocean in the form of rains. It will not have the joys of river, pushing its way to ocean, singing, dancing, and celebrating.  

Buddha’s indifference is silent, peaceful and quiet. Buddha is never sad; he is just quiet, serene and silent. If he lacks the dance of Krishna, and secret bliss of Mahavira, he is also free of sadness of Jesus- sadness for the suffering of masses. Buddha is utterly settled in his peace, his silence. Buddha has attained to indifference, which is different from neutrality. He has come to know that everything in life, as we know it, is meaningless, so nothing now is going to disturb his peace. Every alternative, every choice in life is same for him. So his stillness, his calm, his peace is total. Buddha has attained to absolute choicelessness.  For him nothing is good or bad, right or wrong, black or white. For him summer and winter, day and night, pleasure and pain, laughter and tear are the same. For him choicelessness is the choice!

More analysis will follow coming week!

Wishing you good health & happiness,

Dr. Dwarakanath, Director, Mitran foundation- the stress management people

Only One Complaint

My first posting in IAS was at Aligarh as Sub-divisional magistrate (SDM). One always feels very excited about first posting and more so in a job which has public dealing. At that age, one tries his best to help people and at the same time finds it difficult to tolerate any nonsense. As a result, complaints against young officers are received quite often. It depends upon the temperament of the officer as well as upon the wisdom of the boss, how these complaints are taken and used for supporting or correcting the officer. 

While such incidents look trivial with the passage of time, they play an important role in shaping the career, approach and ultimately the character of the officer. I have an interesting experience of my first posting to share. After about two months of joining, I received a copy of complaint against me, which was addressed to the District Magistrate (DM). It was sent by a village pradhan who had accused me of caste bias. Since the District Magistrate also belonged to his caste, he expected an action against me. When I saw a copy of the complaint which was endorsed to me, I got a little upset and was looking forward to an opportunity to explain the matter to the DM. There is no need to say that the allegations were totally false and I had given relief to the village by taking action against the pradhan, who had filed the complaint. 

Few days later, I got such an opportunity when I was travelling with the DM to some place in the district. When I brought the matter of complaint against me to the notice of the DM and explained my side, he showed no reaction. Perhaps, he needed no explanation from me as he could understand the genuineness of the complaint from his experience and my way of working. But what he said was interesting and also had a message. He said that while he had full faith in me, he also had a complaint against me. And his complaint was that only one complaint had come against me during two months. According to him a young officer like me should have attracted many complaints by then and it showed that I was not doing enough work. He then complemented me for the good work I was doing and advised me to go ahead in the same manner. 

Today some of us shun work for fear of complaints. There can be nothing more unfortunate than this. I have always believed in taking decisions and often took bold decisions when my conscience dictated so. This has always brought me good will as well as admiration. Sometimes things went wrong also but in that case system supported me and no harm was caused. The laws of nature also work with the same perfectness. May be we need to be a little more wise in the present times.

Rakesh Mittal IAS

Be A Good Father

Fatherhood is a big responsibility but it is also a lot of fun. Some fathers miss opportunities to spend time with their kids because of their busy office schedules or other interests. If you don’t establish an intimacy with your children when they’re young, it will be difficult to catch up when they are older.

Children need to be taught to choose right over wrong and need to see it demonstrated by their father. Make decisions in front of them and explain to them why you came to that resolution. Teach your children that everyone makes mistakes but it is important to learn from your mistakes and avoid making them again. Teaching a child right from wrong is a process. Instead of using force, other approaches, such as depriving the child of something they value can prove more effective, while preserving the child’s self esteem and the child’s respect for you as a parent. 

Some men are uncomfortable in communicating their love to their kids. Be loving and affectionate with your children. Give respect to your wife and do not misbehave. Don’t place unreasonable expectations on your child. A child’s life can be filled with pressures at school. Help your children understand their capabilities, desires and limitations. Give them a good education. Although it is important to encourage your children to become financially and emotionally independent, it is also important to let them know that you care and are always there for them and that they are valued.

Fathers are a very important part of their children’s lives. Even when they walk in a room, just their presence commands respect. Be a good leader in your home by taking responsibility for your family and household.

Make an effort to spend quality time with your kids and take interest in their activities. Give them good moral values.

Listen to your children and give them quality advice and help them in negative circumstances. Encourage your children when they are doing well. Teach your children to be caring, helpful and honest. We reap what we sow. Therefore, it is important to practice to sow good seeds and deeds so that your children may do the same.

Mrs.(Dr) Archana Bharat

Beyond Religion

Family and religion are the two most important institutions in the life of a human being. Complimenting each other, they instill in the individual a purpose and a value system, and material and spiritual goals. They give safety and security by providing roots and wings: wings so persons can explore the unexplored territories and become who they need to be; roots so persons can return to their base if and when needed. Ideally, they facilitate all-round growth and development of the body, mind, and spirit. While the paramount importance of family and religion is stressed, we cannot overlook the need of individuals to establish their own families and to go beyond their religion to spirituality while searching for the one God that unites the entire humanity. 

In my own search for true spirituality and  the ultimate meaning – the Logos or the Word or God - my two families, the family of my origin and the family of the Society of Jesus, played vital roles in being where I am now. Even though the two families, that I hold very dear to my heart, may differ with me, I am deeply convinced that I, as a prophet, represent the future and the hope of humanity that God in eternal wisdom and love provides for. I left my family of origin with strong roots at 17, and joined the second family with great wings. The Jesuits gave me strong and untiring wings to search and explore. After about 25 years I left the Jesuits (the second family) letting go of the comfort of their company and the security of a prestigious job. In the world, alone with a compassionate and loving God, and armed with my clear conscience and a strong value system, I was fortunate to experiment and explore unhindered by any earthly authority. While there were many intense sorrows and intense joys in my life, I do not regret any of my major decisions in my last 32 years. Leaving my native country, I surprisingly returned to it after many years.  Many of my old tenets were happily replaced by new ones. My bold experiments cost me dearly emotionally and financially. But I am more contented, stronger, and happier for all that. 

In my search I learned that while religion is important and can be very helpful, its role is to bring all to the door of spirituality. Religion does not need to shut its followers up in a cage with rites, rituals, and devotions even though most persons feel secure and contented in that cage. Beware also of “God-men and God-women” because they will also prevent you from reaching the true God. I discovered certain vital truths that Christ taught. Be faithful to God and the Kingdom of God within you. God is worshiped in spirit and in truth everywhere. God is my father (Abba) and mother, and everyone in the world is my brother and sister. Jesus himself is my brother. Neither any dogma nor any doctrine/discipline can save us. Know the freeing truth that alone sets us free. Love is God, and love alone matters. Go beyond religion to worship the one God of all.

Swami(Dr)Snehananda Jyoti 

Learning to Love Spiritually

Recently I read an article about love in a spiritual magazine. The writer argued that modern society writes a lot about lessons on making love and mostly it is taken in an obscene context. The real love, the spiritual love is something that also needs training. It needs practice to love someone, some object or yourself. Love could mean accepting someone, the way he is. Love can certainly make a person blind, to accept everything about someone or yourself. But love can disallow changes or the process of continuous change if it is not learnt continuously. That is why blindness of love is not darkness. Darkness is where there is no vision. Blindness can enhance internal vision. So, one can make spiritual love with the help of internal vision. 

Spiritual love can certainly be taught. Some people can argue that spiritual love is the love of GOD. But the argument here is that even GOD is something which a ‘Guru’ Offers to you and Delivers to you (GOD – Guru Offers and Delivers). Oh My GOD! I again created another acronym of GOD. You may recall that few days back, I had expanded GOD as Gives, Owns/Operates and Destroys. Let me expand LOVE also as Link Of Vital Energy. Love makes you link to yourself, link to others and a link to GOD. When we talk in the context of vital energy; you, others and GOD all unite as one. The term vital energy is one out of the key elements and is called ‘Consciousness’ as per the neo five element theory. It is this element which connects to GOD. 

So friends, let me stop this alphabet jugglery now and tell you about the school where you can learn something more about spiritual love. The full name of that school is YOU. It is you who has to learn love from you yourself. Just expand this Y.O.U. to be Youthful, being Optimistic and being Upbeat. Yes, these are the qualities needed to make all types of love. It is same for what comes to your mind and what I am trying to explain. Let me stop here friends, as I am not leaving my habit of creating expansions of common words. But what is the harm, if it can bring an additional punch to memorise the message easily. 

Dr. Sunil Ji Garg

Gandhidham Express

Too often we live under the assumption that life is all about achieving something worth inviting the cover page of a magazine. While on the deathbed, Aldous Huxley reflected on his entire life’s learning and then summed it up in seven simple words: “Let us be kinder to one another.”  The more I tried to install this concept within the more I understood that what all we call kindness is not kindness at all. 

All these rolled on through my mind as I was idly sitting in Gandhidham - Nagerkovil Express train in which I was returning from Ahmedabad. It was a cool afternoon on the Konkan corridor when a good looking man past his sixties hurried in with his baggage. He occupied a seat close to me. Very quickly he pushed his baggage under the seat and opened his handbag to take out a book. Because of his tense behavior I could not help watching him. The book he took out was ‘An autobiography of a Yogi’, a famous great book written by Shri Yogananda Paramahansa. It was easy for me to guess that he should be spiritual man. As soon as he opened the book came in the pantry man with eatables. He bought something and started cracking it. Then came a beggar hardly 35, walking with great difficulty even on his wild stick. His one leg seemed to be totally disabled. The man closed his book, took a coin and dropped it into the stretched palm of the beggar. I noticed that he was dropping the coin and not giving it; and I assumed that cast wise he could be from a privileged upper caste category. Incidentally, the coin fell down. I saw that disabled beggar struggling to bend his body and take the coin. Fortunately a passenger who came by took the coin and gave it to him. What that surprised me was that this man did not at all turned his head to help the beggar but only continued reading the Autobiography. I thought, ‘What use all these messages he consumes in dozes unless it could not generate within him the sort of kindness Huxley meant?’ I finally concluded that this typical aspirant is a commonly seen model, who claims to have great masters and possesses great knowledge but without kindness in its tender nature.

Two hours passed by and the train stopped at a minor station. The man with the book closed it and moved out with his luggage. He had not completed even a single page during the two hours in the train. Either he was checking his baggage or was bargaining with the vendors. The train began to roll on again. There I saw another strange thing – the physically disabled beggar was running into the moving train. My fellow passengers also noticed it. “Life is a whole drama.” I commented. The one thing that pained me was not just that. I had to admit that I too am a player in this cosmic drama though not as smart as the disabled beggar or as loose as the disturbed aspirant. Is it not about developing personality that we talk about? Personality is all about masks while individuality is all about self-holiness. 

Joseph Mattappally

Krishna on Bondage 9

I have heard that a rebel sage (A sage is always a rebel) was thrown into prison for his irrepressible love of freedom. He was going around the country singing songs of freedom. He was a Sufi sage and his captor was a Caliph who was both the religious and temporal head of Mohemmedanism. The sage was put in shackles from his neck downward, but he continued to sing his songs of freedom. One day the Caliph came to see him and inquired if he had any troubles. The sage asked, “What troubles? I am a royal guest, your guest; what troubles can I have? I am utterly happy. I live in a hut and you have put me in a palace. Thank you! ”

The Caliph was amazed. He asked, “Are you joking?” The Sufi said, “I say so because I have turned life itself into a joke.” Then the Caliph came with a down to earth question: “Are the chains on your hands and legs heavy and painful?” The Sufi looked at his chains and said, “These chains are far away from me. There is a great distance between me and these chains. You may be under the illusion that you have imprisoned me, but you can only imprison my body, you cannot imprison my freedom. You cannot turn freedom into prison because I know how to turn prison into freedom.”

It all depends on us, on how we see things. Seeing is foundational. We have to understand what the Sufi told the Caliph, “These chains are far away from me. There is a great distance between me and these chains.” Our life becomes what we are psychologically and spiritually, our death becomes what we are in our mind and spirit. If we are free, our birth our life, our death, everything becomes free. And similarly if we are in bondage, then everything we do or we don’t do binds us. Then action binds, love binds, life binds and even death binds. Then even God binds. 

In fact, we are our own makers. 

Wishing you good health & happiness,

Dr. Dwarakanath, Director, Mitran foundation- the stress management people

Very Reasonable

In the early years of my service, I was posted for a few months as Deputy Secretary in the Industries Department of the U.P. Govt. In that capacity, I was also a Director on the Board of a company. The financial condition of the company was bad and no production was going on due to labour unrest. The main reason of unrest was non-payment of wages for a long time. Soon after my joining I was required to attend a meeting of its Board in New Delhi. 

I was a new officer at that time and hardly knew the intricacies of industrial management. All that I noticed in the Board meeting was discussion on justifying the non-payment of wages. All senior Board members seemed to agree with the arguments placed by the Managing Director who appeared to be a very clever person. Whether on account of lack of knowledge or courage or both, I could not raise my objections forcefully and my feeble efforts to do so bore no results. I, therefore, had to sign on the dotted lines. The meeting for which thousands of rupees were paid as TA and DA, thus ended in almost half an hour. 

This left us with ample time to enjoy the drinks and snacks. I being a teetotaler could only watch senior friends of the Board competing with each other in choosing the best brands of whisky or wine or both, even the names of which I was not aware of. Somehow I passed my hours over a glass of juice and some snacks. The moment I thought that my agony was over, I found that we were on our way to the Taj Hotel for lunch. 

At the Taj Hotel also, the same indulgence was repeated but this was less torturous to me, as I was hungry and could enjoy the food, its price notwithstanding. When the bill came it was quite enormous even at that point of time but everyone sighed with relief calling it ‘Very Reasonable’. It was a time when the starting salary of an IAS officer used to be in 3 digits and I had just crossed that. 

There was one gentleman in this gathering who seemed to be disagreeing with this show through his silence and occasional gesture. He was the Company Secretary and by chance I travelled with him after lunch in the same car. Gathering hint from his gestures, I shared my views with him about the company. I said that, had we shared the amount spent on the Board Meeting with the workers of the company, preferably, over a frugal lunch, the labour unrest would have been over. In that case the company would have been in production and the workers would have waited for wages till the company was in a position to pay. The Company Secretary, who was seemingly a gentleman and had been in the company for years, was in complete agreement with me. 

Rakesh Mittal IAS

Be A Good Mother

Every woman is faced with distinct challenges as a mother but her ultimate aim is to raise her children in the best possible manner. As a mother you should keep calm and try to stay patient, although it may be difficult to keep your cool at times. Take interest in your child’s interests and involve yourself in their activities whether they are music or fashion.

Do not be tight about money and don’t automatically say no to everything your kid asks for. Be generous at their birthdays and buy them something they have been wanting for some time. You can also take them out to a special dinner or see a movie.

Make sure you are an approachable person to talk to. Try your hardest to always be understanding and a good listener. Knowing that they can go to their mom for friendship, advice, information on puberty, homework help or just a hug goes a long way for kids. Not having someone they can talk to can cause kids to retire into a shell.

Be supportive and never laugh at your child’s hobbies, interests or friends. Understand that its okay if your child thinks differently from you. Be able to admit that something you did may have been wrong and don’t be afraid to apologize.

Give your children a good education but don’t force a career of your choice on them. Guide your child through the problem solving process if they need help with their homework. Spend quality time with your child. Play ball with your son or do a craft project with your daughter. Make sure you have fun together. Take them out to museums, theatre, concerts and other cultural events. Always be supportive and fair.

A mother needs to teach her children how to be successful adults. Let them have freedom to work out problems on their own. Love them unconditionally and respect them as individuals. Be a friend but give your children moral and ethical guidance. Encourage them and teach them to be caring, respectful, helpful, friendly, trustworthy honest and God fearing.

Be a positive and moral role model and example that your children can look upto, appreciate and honour. 

Dr (Mrs) Archana Bharat

Freedom and Religion

Religious freedom was absent in the former Soviet Union. In the past there were countries that   had state religion, that did not tolerate other religions, and that taxed other religions. Religious freedom is not there in authoritarian China ruled by the Chinese communist party. In some Islamic countries, rights of other religions to practice their religion are not respected. In Saudi Arabia, for instance, only Sunni Islam restricted to the Salafi or Wahhabi sect is the only officially recognized state religion. Even the Shia Muslim sect is discriminated against. No other religion can worship there even in private. There is absolutely no religious freedom there. Conversion from Islam there can even be punishable by death. It is incredible that such a state of affairs exists in Saudi Arabia in the 21st century, and the Saudi extreme religious apartheid and gross human rights violations are not much written or talked about.

In this article my focus is not on religious freedom or the lack of it in different parts of the world. While it is important to consider the lack of freedom in all religions that, without any exception, require radical reformation and transformation, my specific focus is going to be on the lack of freedom in Catholicism, the biggest (about 1.25 billion followers), the best organized, and the most powerful denomination in the biggest religion that is Christianity. The influence of the Catholic Church is widespread in every part of the world through its tightly-knit parishes and institutions closely controlled by the hierarchy of priests and bishops. Christ came to preach the Kingdom of God, to free the down-trodden, and model especially truth and freedom, love and compassion among many divine values. And my question in deep anguish is: If Christ were to come to the world today, wouldhe recognize the Catholic Church that represents him? What would he think of the arrogance of primacy and infallibility of its head, the unnecessary doctrines and dogmas, the pompous rites and meaningless rituals, the burdensome disciplines and censures, the almost deification of his earthly mother, Mary, the numerous and often empty devotional practices, and mechanical recital of prayers, the extraordinary powers granted to its “official” saints, the feverish activity of beatifying and canonizing saints, the unwarranted consideration of all its members primarily as unworthy sinners, the enormous accretion of encumbering and crippling baggage over centuries?

Certainly all Christians like all other human beings, depending on their degree of awareness and surrendering to God’s will and  grace, fall down and get up, make mistakes, repent, and learn from them, and relentlessly strive toward perfection. Religions, far removed from their original inspiration and charism, shackle their members to blind loyalty, unexamined beliefs, and practices, robbing them of their God-given freedom. It is an insult to the one God of all that religions self-righteously fight among themselves and glorify themselves for some earthly advantage and posturing. In the final analysis all that matters is that we have been honest and sincere, compassionate and loving, and that we worked for the Kingdom of God to the best of our ability, and that we truly and really took care of all our brothers and sisters in the world.

Swami(Dr) Snehananda Jyoti 

An Unknown Language

“Azino-sibne-meta-nido-zoic”. My science teacher came to the class and wrote down this word on the black board. He also wrote an unknown script below this word and then he turned towards us for its explanation. By this time our curiosity level was really quite high. He smiled and began his explanation. Children! This is a word from a tribal language from an eastern island near Srilanka. This language is called “Ottarwaka” and today there are only five people left, who know this language. The word I wrote here means a feast that is given at the time of their marriages. 

We were just wondering, how come our science teacher became a geography teacher and what connection his narration has with our syllabus. The story he was telling was definitely wonderful. He started asking us, if anyone can suggest methods to save such dying languages. We were so involved in the story that we started giving some silly ideas that we thought were really innovative from our point of view. 

Then the teacher went out of the class and we all started making noise as usual. He came back again and asked all of us a very pointed question, “How many of you believe that this story is true?” Most of us raised our hands. The boy who did not raise his hand said, “Sir this story is true, but the number of people who know this language currently is probably even lower”. Another boy said, “Sir, in my view, there are many languages in India also, that are dying and are known to less than ten people”. 

Teacher asked from those two students, if they can give any reference regarding the comments they made. They said, “Sir! We have read it somewhere”. Teacher asked all of us, why they believe that whatever facts he narrated about the language are true. None of us could give a genuine answer. 

Then the teacher clearly told us that whatever story he told us is was fully a cooked-up one. He told us that our brain has a feature of believing things that are told in certain objective styles. He said, “Children! This is what science tries to find a solution about.” Our minds are trained to believe things that are told with certain Data parameters. The Data parameters given to us in this story were the location, name of the language, number of people and the meaning of the word. Science helps us to begin with disbelief and then verify the parameters with some proven techniques. The system of beginning with disbelief lead us to experiments and ultimately we start trusting things we are able to verify. 

I can now say it with full conviction, that this was one of the best science classes I ever attended. The meaning of Science I learned that day, I can never forget. My teacher proved his point well to all of us. I hope the people who tell us lot of stories in the name of religion are also listening. 

Dr. Sunil Ji Garg

Dreaming Over a Dream

Some time back, I was on a chat with my friend Dr. Yadam Ramkumar, a young international motivational speaker from Orissa. We used to quarrel over multitudes of concepts and philosophies. Each interaction was powerful Satsangh for us. That day, our discussion slipped into the process of dreaming. I stressed the need for sensible and powerful well calculated dreams that lead to healthy manifestations. He was not against that. He told me that he has learnt that dreams manifest on its’ own and our role is just to witness the manifestation. His concern was on practically living in such an experience of having reached the intended goal, in a sense ignoring that the idea is only a fancy dream. After a quite long debate on it we concluded that dreaming over a dream, instead of boldly choosing to be in the intended experience is like plucking a plant every day to confirm it is growing. We categorized living in the experience of having reached the goal to be positive while dreaming with no investment is neutral and living in doubt is negative. It was easy to find that a hopeless life added with a dream, how powerful it be, is double negative. We also found the real reason behind distorted manifestations - we grow dreams in doubt and nourish it in mistrust.

Once Mark Twain was forced to the parish church, on compulsion of his friend, who offered a very inspiring talk by the new priest there. The priest knew his presence and that day he gave his best ever. Mark twain but remained indifferent all the time. While on car back, the priest accompanied Mark Twain, who did not comment on the talk that day. At last the priest asked him, “You did not say anything?” Mark Twain replied, “There was nothing new in it; everything was there in a book I took last night.” The priest was surprised to hear that because he had not copied anything from anywhere.  Seeing his astonished looks, Mark Twain said, “I will send you that book tomorrow.” Mark Twain did as he promised and what he packed was the latest version of a dictionary. 

What Mark Twain actually tried to convey was that even though the discourse contained attractive combinations of words and phrases he sensibly wove for an emotionally pleasant listening, it had no juice in it. Words without juice are lifeless. What is meant by juice? Juice certainly is the life energy in it. The new generation dreams also are like the discourse of the priest; not enough life in it. Dreams for most are fancy mansions in which they comfortably lay their heads and rest. 

Joseph Mattappally

Krishna on Bondage 8

We human are the strange creation of all. We turn even our love to bondage. I receive wedding invitations from my friends, relatives and patient’s family. They invariably write in their wedding invitation letters that their daughter or son is going to be “bound with fetters of love.” We turn even love, which is utter freedom, into shackles. Love is freedom, so the right way to say it is that someone is going to be set free in love. But we say and do the opposite; we turn love into an imprisonment. Not that love is imprisonment, but we make it into one. The way we are, even death looks like captivity to us. The way we are, we turn life itself into a concentration camp. 

On the other hand, he who lives in the present, in the moment, who among us lives without expectations and attachments and does his work without hope for reward or fear of punishment, whose action is like inaction and whose inaction is like action, who turns his whole life into a play- he turns even bondage into freedom. For such a person among us, action is freedom, love is freedom, living is freedom, living is freedom, life is freedom, and even death is freedom. For him everything is freedom. 

It all depends on the way we are and we see the life. We carry both our slavery and freedom within us. If we begin to live without desire for the fruits of action, if we become responsible to ourselves and to the existence, if we trust life, then life for us will cease to be bondage. The life will be a blessing, a benediction. Such a person in us attains a life of freedom; he is free while living in this world. Such a life is possible here and now. And it totally depends on us!

Let us analyze more, later in the weeks to follow … until then let us spend some time contemplating on the same. 

Wishing you good health & happiness,

Dr. Dwarakanath, Director, Mitran foundation- the stress management people

When We Think Positive

Mata Amritanandamayi is one of the greatest saints of India, who is doing laudable work for the society along with her spiritual pursuits. Her presence is now felt in every part of the world. Going by her background, it can be said that her service to society is a result of divine grace. No wonder she is considered to be an incarnation of God. Her affectionate embrace is like a blessing for all those who get to meet her. While the devotees wait for their turn for hours, Ma also never seems to get tired of displaying her affection with equal intensity from the beginning to the end. In March 2006, Amma visited Lucknow. A large public function was organised for her in an open space. At that time, I was the commissioner of Lucknow and in that capacity, got the privilege of being of some help in this function. It was the first time that I came in contact with Amma and her entourage.

The programme was conducted very gracefully and Ma endeared herself to her audience in Lucknow just like everywhere else. I wished that Amma could visit my home in Lucknow for a few minutes. When I expressed this wish, I was assured that Amma would try her best to do so and soon it was confirmed that Amma would visit my house in the early hours after meeting her devotees. My family remained anxious throughout the night but Amma visited our home as per her assurance and spent about half an hour with us. This was a memorable day of our lives and we all felt blessed in the true sense. The members of the entourage also invited me to Amma’s ashram in Kerala. Eventually, a message came from her and I, along with my local friends, was called to her living room and given an audience for almost 30 minutes, a privilege rarely available to anyone. For me, it was an indication of Amma’s grace and the power of my positive thinking that helped me meet her. 

Amma’s main ashram is in the Kollam district of Kerala and she is available there only for a part of the year and that too, at different times. While I wished to visit her there, looking at the low probability of my being in Kerala during her presence in the ashram, I never committed myself to it. But perhaps, Amma was more graceful to me than I could think of. In April 2009, I visited Kerala during my journey to Lakshadweep, the destination of my LTC (Leave Travel Concession). I was to stay in Lakshadweep for three days, but it was cut short by one day because of the change in the airline schedule. As a result, I got one extra day at Cochin. As I was heading towards the town from the Airport on 25th April, I got a call from Lucknow and Amma’s reference was made. Immediately, I noticed a hoarding for Amma’s programme. This created a desire in me to pay her a visit, if possible. 

Soon, I contacted some of my local friends who told me that Amma was in her ashram but having come there after a long time, it was very difficult to meet her. But, my urge was deep and I decided to visit the ashram even if meeting Amma was not possible. Deep within my heart, I was positive and hopeful. As we reached the ashram, we were received very warmly by the devotees who also tried to arrange my meeting with Amma against all hopes. 

Rakesh Mittal IAS

Living in a Narcissistic World

Narcissism means egoism, egocentrism, or morbid love of oneself. Narcissus was an extremely beautiful young man in Greek mythology. He is said to have madly fallen in love with his own reflection in a pool, not realizing it was his own image. He was not able to disengage from the beauty of hisreflection, and ended up dead. According to Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th Edition (DSM-IV), narcissistic personality disorder essentially is a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy. Persons with this disorder can be arrogant. They have a grandiose sense of self-importance, have fantasies of unlimited power, brilliance, and beauty, believe they are special, and have unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment, take advantage of others to achieve their ends, and show arrogant or haughty attitudes and behaviors. In the Indian setting, they especially feel they do not have to stand in a queue or line to be served, or follow rules or decency in traffic.

Narcissistic persons believe they know better than others.  They can be self-righteous. They feel free to question others in areas where they do not like to be questioned. They are quick in judging and imputing motives to others. They feel they are better assessors of characters as to who can or cannot be trusted.They may have a patronizing or condescending attitude. They dominate in conversations. Believing they know better than others, they freely interrupt others, and do not listen to others attentively. While they may say they are open to corrections, in reality they are not. They may project their own feelings and thoughts on to others. Knowing the real truth, they consider themselves to be veritable gifts to humanity. Some of them may not even be aware that they are exhibiting narcissistic characteristics. They might also think they are trying to be help to others. One needs to have a cluster of symptoms for a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder. When the required minimum number of symptoms are not there, one is said to have a personality marked by narcissistic features. They can be highly stable and successful in their chosen environment or profession. You can find them in religions, politics, and academic settings.

Narcissism spreads fast in a world of consumerist culture. The consumer culture itself is a narcissistic culture. In a consumer society especially driven by success and cut-throat competition everyone promotes oneself, and blows one’s own trumpet. Recently a celebrity is reported to have doubled his fee that ran into crores of rupees for a commercial when he came to know that he was not the first choice to advertise that particular product. In a consumer culture men and women are commodities and products ingeniously packaged in stylish clothes and frozen looks, and traded in open markets. They flaunt their physical looks and bodily endowments. There was a recent report of some famous women entertainers who insured their bodily assets such as breasts and buttocks for millions of dollars or rupees. In this connection, a little story I was told some years ago may be of some interest. It looks like a beautiful blond of low average intelligence approached Albert Einstein and made a marriage proposal. She told him: 

“We can have a beautiful child of your intelligence and my beauty”. Einstein is reported to have asked the lady: “What if we have a child of my beauty and your intelligence”? As spiritual persons we need to consciously strive to go against the narcissistic and consumerist culture before we are overwhelmed and choked by it.

Swami SnehanandaJyoti 

Logic of Logic

I tried to understand the human behaviour with the help of Logic. I failed. I tried logic on understanding why there is life on earth; I got stuck with various theories. I applied logic on understanding of GOD; I could not even start theorizing properly. I am a computer guy, so I know that there are logic gates. Computers work on logic. Had logic not been there technology would not have been there. So what is the contradiction? Should logic be applied everywhere? Is there a limit to apply logic? Every person will nod and will definitely say ‘Yes’. Is everything beyond logic is the realm of GOD? Maybe Yes, Maybe No. Something unknown today, may be difficult to prove by logic today, but it may be possible to prove by logic in future. 

So friends! There are definitely two things; realm of UNKNOWN and realm of GOD. One fine day, we may be able to enter the realm of Unknown, but we will never be able to enter the realm of God. Something supernatural, beyond existence, beyond thoughts, beyond creation or destruction will always be there. So is that what we call the limit of logic? We will always be able to think, that our thoughts have a limit. As long as we are aware of our limits or rather the limits of applying logic, we will be aware of GOD. But we need to keep expanding our limits not only in the search of unknown, but also in the search of GOD. So here comes the great logic of logic that GOD exists. We keep expanding infinitely and at the end of infinity the thing which exists is called GOD. Let us give a new expansion to the acronym GOD as Growing Out to Destination. This is to explain that we are eternally growing, eternally increasing outwards and will eternally be involved in the process of growing to reach the destination, which is beyond unknown, beyond logic and beyond the logic of logic. 

Don’t we know that even the logic makers from science say that the universe is expanding and will continue to expand forever? 

Sorry! I made an uncalled attempt to apply logic to something where logic should never be applied. I couldn’t help it. After all, minds still operate in the framework of logic. Hey! did I made a breakthrough discovery here? 

Dr. Sunil Ji Garg

It Clicked

A year back, I had a guest at my home, a young very successful industrialist in Kerala, a long time acquaintance. Our discussions went on uninterrupted for a few hours. We talked about his present business, his future plans and present problems. In between he shared the story of a Kerala billionaire, who in 1985 was jailed in an Arab country for a crime he was not responsible for. He said, “It took six months for the government to realize his innocence and it took another six months for the authorities to clear his papers and release him. He lost his job there and returned to India quite disappointed; but he was not lost. He began a poultry farm and it clicked. Later he stepped into another business and that too clicked.” He summed up this live story of a successful industrialist who now owns assets worth at least ten billion Indian Rupees. All that he planned ‘clicked’. This guy also told me the inner secrets of this ‘clicking’ experience, which this billionaire himself personally shared with him. At every juncture, he said that there were sad episodes of total collapse, which he did not let the public know. A sort of plague washed off his entire chicken, at a time when he was making the best out of it. In the next venture, his entire stock was put on hold, due to an organized attempt to ruin him. The guy said that at every juncture, this business man had severe problems to face. 

I picked up the word ‘clicked’ which he repeated frequently and asked him if his business also falls under ‘clicked’ category. The answer he gave me was surprising. He said that he used this word only in the very sense in which people usually interprets success. He said that he does not believe in this aspect of an unknown for or against destiny deciding ghost exercising its’ choice in every entrepreneur’s career. All the way this young man was sharing about utilizing situations at its best and experiencing the manifestation of his dreams at every development, good or bad. He said that his experience on obstructions also is more or the less same. I asked him how he could come to such a positive attitude in his life. He said that it took long time to get it established within and now it is very hard to take it out. He said that unless there was a fabricated allegation, the billionaire in the story would have would have been a gulf returned now; unless there was the chicken plague, he would have ended up as a Hatcher; unless there was a man to betray him, he would have ended up as a commodity dealer. The guy continued with his bright eyes; he said that success always appears side by side with blocks and deadlocks and it is with thrill and pleasure that he faces every obstruction and he was never disappointed. 

Joseph Mattappally