There Always is a Chance

I’ve seen people lamenting over the bad luck befallen over them. At a close observation, we will find that all those situations would have been otherwise, if they had willed it properly and adopted a different befitting approach. The questions, ‘may I smoke while praying’ and ‘may I pray while smoking’ are same in effect. But both these questions invite different answers. The story of a millionaire and a few beggars comes to my mind. I pass it as I received it. 

‘There was a good-natured millionaire in the town. Three beggars thought of approaching him for help. The first man went to the millionaire and said: “O Boss! I want five rupees. Give it to me.”

The millionaire was taken aback at this man’s impudence. “What! You demand five rupees from me as though I owe you the money! How dare you? How can I afford to give five rupees to a single beggar? Here, take these two rupees and get away,” he said. The man went away with the two rupees.

The next beggar went to the millionaire and said: “Oh Boss! I have not taken a square meal for the past ten days. Please help me.” “How much do you want?” asked the millionaire. “Whatever you give me,” replied the beggar. “Here, take this ten rupee note. You can have nice food for at least three days.” The beggar walked away with the ten rupee note. 

The third beggar came. “Oh Boss, I have heard about your noble qualities. Therefore, I have come to see you. Men of such charitable disposition are verily the manifestations of God on earth,” he said.  “Please sit down,” said the millionaire. “You appear to be tired. Please take this food,” he said, and offered food to the beggar. “Now please tell me what I can do for you.” “Oh Boss,” replied the beggar; “I merely came to meet such a noble personage that you are. You have given me this rich food already. What more need I get from you? You have already shown extraordinary kindness towards me. May God bless you!”  

But the millionaire, struck by the beggar’s spirit, begged of the beggar to remain with him, built a decent house for him in his own compound, and looked after him for the rest of his life.

Joseph Mattappallil

Whither Humanity?

Humanity is at crossroads looking for direction. Who can lead humanity from the present malaise? A country that spies on the leaders of its friendly countries, for instance, has lost its moral ground. A true friend does not spy on one’s friend. History tells us that the great models of humanity such as Socrates, Christ, M. K. Gandhi, M. L. King were done away with by the society in which they lived. These guides were non-violent and were ahead of time in attempting to change their corrupt world through their message. Their message related to search for truth, release from physical and spiritual bondage, human rights, right relationship among humans, forgiveness and reconciliation with God and other humans. They invariably went against their culture and value system. They stirred things up. For the establishment they were inconvenient nuisances that stirred up trouble.

Currently politicians and religious leaders try to broker the good society and the Kingdom of God. They, blind as they are, trying to lead us to the promised land. They are bound to fail as they are lost in their own arrogant ignorance and double-talk, and wander in the barren desert of their own hypocrisy. So it is time to be assertive, take back the trust reposed in these leaders, and lead ourselves in the light that we have. At this point we have nothing to lose but our own chains, indolence, ennui, and insecurity. We need to come to the realization that we know what is good for us more than they do, and that we do not need these mediators and exploiting middle men and women to arrive at where we need to go. The sad reality is that these leaders block the road. They themselves do not go and will not let others go. They do not know what is good for them and others. Otherwise they will not be doing what they are doing. The utterly condemnable phenomenon of politicians declaring strikes (hadtal) at their whims in Kerala is unimaginable in a civilized, democratic society. These politicians encouraging anti-social activities represent only evil as they suppress freedom and violate human rights. Who is safe when the Chief Minister of Kerala cannot travel in his state without being attacked and injured in broad daylight? What about a  parish priest condoning or encouraging violence toward innocent persons who have been only doing good for the community? What about Hindu-Muslim pogrom encouraged and supported by religious and political leaders? 

Before we can take over the reins of our own lives, we ourselves need to be armed with a strong value system and a solidly formed conscience. A good value system should comprise truth, justice, fairness, equality, and respect for others and their rights. The Golden Rule of doing to others what we like others to do to us is an excellent summary of a good value system. Our conscience is our light and guide in all situations if we scrupulously and uncompromisingly follow it. Even when we go wrong in anything, our faithfulness to our conscience and our sincerity in following it will come to our rescue, and save us ultimately. This is no small consolation. This also shows our God or the Universal Energy has provided us with all that we need to negotiate the bad and hostile terrain of this world. For humanity to survive and reach its desired goal, we need to re-order our priorities. Currently we are devoting almost all our energy to acquire material wealth. We spare no sacrifice for our material advancement. We need to devote time and energy to our spiritual and mental health. We cannot have physical well-being without spiritual and emotional well-being. We also need to look at humanity from a humanistic perspective wherein humans are responsible for the consequences of their decisions they make in freedom. 

Swami Snehananda Jyoti

GOD – Gives, Owns, Destroys

While I often used to describe the full form of the word GOD as Give Out Distrust to the people who always questioned the concept of GOD, I tried to search the internet to understand how this word originated. Lots of theories came across me, including that which claims it to be of Aryan origin. I also found expansions like Gathering Of Deities, Get Out of Doubt and Giver Of Desires. Somehow I was not convinced. I decided to work out an expansion on a piece of paper whole day, till I got something which electrified a thousand watt bulb in my mind. The final one which I got, not only illuminated my mind, but it gave me as much inner satisfaction as I get when I talk to myself calmly. The expansion I got is the title of this article, I write it here again in a different form as:

GOD Gives, GOD Owns, GOD Destroys.

The word "Gives" explains the attribute which we relate to GOD, i.e., the power of creation. In Indian system we call it as Brahma. The word "Owns" relates to continuity we have while owning something. During the phase of running this world it is actually GOD who owns, not we. This is quite similar to the icon whom we give the name Vishnu. And finally the word "Destroys" explains the end of lifecycle of anything so that it can be created afresh. You guessed it right; I am now talking about God of destruction, Mahesh. This is true that it is a simple alphabet jugglery to just prove a point for the sake of it. But what is so exciting is that this provides with a good memory mnemonic to understand the power of nature so well.

As a science enthusiast, I am surprised that out of these three important aspects, the concept of "how this world runs" is understood only a little bit till date. The concept of "How this world was created" and "How this world would be destroyed" is yet unknown. The recent discovery of Higgs Boson, that we nicely call as "GOD particle" is just a small beginning to venture into the world of unknowns.

Dr. Sunil Ji Garg

Self-Reliance

Every man must carry his own sack to the mill.

Three men are my friends---he that loves me, he that hates me and he that is indifferent to  me. Who loves me, teaches  me  tenderness; who hates me, teaches caution; who is indifferent teaches me self-reliance. Love for oneself is the foundation of a brotherly society and personal peace of mind. We need to  insist on the necessity  of a proper self-regard as a prerequisite  of the good and moral life .Man must be first restored to  himself, that, making in himself as it were a stepping stone, he may rise thence and be borne up to  God. Cure yourself of the inclination to  bother  about how you look to other people. Be concerned only with the idea God has of  you.

Tagore says, with begging and scrambling we find very little, but with being true to  ourselves  we find great deal more than we desire. Learning how to  be  strong, intelligent and balanced; how to  resist fatigue, how to  avoid making oneself detestable to  others is no less essential than eating, sleeping, studying at school or working in the office, farm or factory. Strength of numbers is the delight of the timid. The valiant of spirit glory in fighting alone. Be you one or many, this valour is the only true valour, all else is false. And the valour of the spirit cannot be achieved without Sacrifice, Determination, Faith and Humility. Self-help is the capacity to  stand  on one’s legs without anybody’s help. This does not mean indifference to  or rejection of outside help, but it means the capacity to  be at peace with oneself, to  preserve one’s self-respect, when outside help is not forthcoming or is refused.

In his childhood Alexander the Great  visited  the study of an Athenian sculptor and found it full of little gods. He particularly  liked  one with covered face and winged feet.

“What ‘s  his name?”

“Opportunity”

“Why is his face covered?”

“Because men live so haphazardly that they rarely see it when it passes in front of them.”

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thokkanattu SJL

Non- attachment 7

If we watch the movie which is our mind like a spectator, a witness, without identifying with it, without condemning it, with total disinterest, then we will find the whole movie dropping away. Before long, it disappears. And by and by the witnessing consciousness alone remains, without any object before it. This objectless awareness is alone, and it is aloneness. And one who attains to this aloneness attains to non-attachment. The very experiencing of this consciousness, empty and alone, is non-attachment. The behavior of a man of non-attachment will be radically different from others, and this behavior is called Anasakti Yoga or the discipline of non-attachment. He accepts everything- like a mirror- without attachment or dislike. Now he knows for himself what self-nature is, what non-attachment is. He knows that self-nature and non-attachment are inseparably together, and he also knows that attachment and aversion are just behavioral. 

Having known and understood the Anasakti in depth, his behavior towards outside world will be radically different. For him the world has ceased to be what it was before. His consciousness has undergone a mutation. A man of such consciousness will relate with people and things but he will not enter into relationships involving attachment or aversion. He will mix in society, but his aloneness will remain inviolate and untouched. His mirror of consciousness will reflect both love and war, but in itself will remain unaffected by either. He will no more remain a doer but he will be an actor on the stage of life. If Krishna is anything, he is an actor- a superb actor at that. There has never been a greater and more skilled actor in the whole world history of mankind. He is incomparable even as an actor- he who turned the whole world into a stage. If a wooden stage can be used for a performance, why not the whole world is? The world is turned into a leela, a theatrical performance. We all can play our roles as actors and performers. An actor weeps and laughs, but tears and laughter don’t bind him. When he loves he does not love, when he fights he does not fight. He is never involved in the roles as us the worldly people. He plays the friend and foe without being involved in friendship and enmity. 

The life one, who treats everything as play-acting becomes a triangle, a complete triangle. Ordinarily our life is only two points of triangle, while the third is submerged in darkness. While the two points of triangle, the aversion and attachment are functioning and visible, the third angle of non-attachment is shrouded in darkness. A person of non-attachment brings this third side into light, and the triangle becomes complete. In reality, he exists in the third point, and to be on this third point is called anasakti or non-attachment. 

Wishing you good health and happiness,

Dr. Dwarakanath, Director, Mitran foundation- the stress management

Grace of God

Most of us have our own version of God’s grace. When the events of life appear favourable to us, we feel the grace of God but when it is not so, our faith in Him is shaken and we feel that the grace of God is missing. I feel that it is not fair to blame God and by thinking this way, we show our complete ignorance about Him. The fact is that all acts of God or Nature are blessings only and they have a positive purpose behind them. Even the so-called unfavourable events fall in the category of blessings. It is a different matter that we fail to understand the purpose behind them. Quite often they happen for setting our karmic account in balance and the sooner it happens, the better it is. I am sharing here a personal incident to establish this fact. 

Once, I was visiting Mirzapur in eastern UP with a good friend of mine who belonged to a political party and had been a minister in the state government. We both had a spiritual leaning and any interaction with him was always a joy. We travelled together in the same car from Lucknow to Mirzapur, which took about six hours. This period passed very pleasantly on account of our common interest. We reached straight to a guest house and took some rest after lunch. We stayed in the same room. 

In the afternoon, the attendant brought tea for us with separate milk and sugar. First, he asked my friend whether he would take sugar or not. To this, he said that he would because he had no sugar problem by the grace of God. At that time, he did not realise that I was diabetic, a fact which was very well known to him. Then the attendant turned towards me and asked the same question. I had very carefully noticed the reply of my friend and so in the same tone I said that I won’t because I had sugar problem by the grace of God. This answer immediately drew the attention of my friend who realised the narrowness of his definition of God’s grace. He also regretted his words, which of course was not necessary, as far as I was concerned. Then our discussion turned to the subject of God’s grace and we realised the true impact of it. He fully agreed with my version which has been mentioned in the beginning. 

The reason for this narrow version of God’s grace is that we don’t consider ourselves a part of Nature and in the process stop following its laws. When we do so, Nature only tries to amend us and if we still don’t pay heed to it, the laws of Nature operate and this operation appears to us as the lack of God’s grace. Also, life cannot be seen as a close- ended process, and so our sense of time may not match with the timing of Nature’s process. That is why, at times, good persons appear to be suffering and not so good prospering. Once we understand this secret of Nature, we start seeing God’s grace in all the events of our life.

Rakesh Mittal IAS

God-Consciousness

There are many existing realities for which we do not have answers. How did our universe come into being? How is there such order and predictability in this universe? Every day we are discovering new facts that throw more light on this universe. Our faith supplies answers to some questions that give not only purpose to our life but also help us cope with our life. God is a postulate of our faith. Christians believe that Christ, the incarnation of the second person of the Holy Trinity, revealed his Father – God – to humanity. Hindus especially in Advaida (non-duality) believe that God and humanity are one like an ocean and its waves. And we have wonderful treatises of speculative theology and traditions in both religions. God is the only thing that matters for those who believe in God. Apart from revelations or speculations, how we came to the consciousness of God always fascinated me. How then did we come to the consciousness of God?

Before Vedas and Vedantas including Upanishads and Bhagavadgita of the Hindus, there was no mention of God in the East. Mono-theistic concept of God primarily comes from the Judeo-Christian scriptures (Bible) originating in the Middle East and spreading to the East and the West. Both the Eastern and the Middle-Eastern scriptures were believed to be revealed by God. Primitive humans either feared or worshipped primeval forces. So we can only speculate on how humans came into God-consciousness. It makes extremely good sense to think that as finite humans evolved in reflection, meditation, and consciousness, they got into the depth of their being where nothing else but an infinite Fullness of Being, that is God, satisfied them and gave meaning, purpose, and fulfillment to their life. Once we arrive at this kind of deep thinking where we experience emotional, if not intellectual, satisfaction with a Supreme Being, the leap of faith into the lap of a God who provides for us and takes care of us in every way becomes easy. For most of us, if not all, who have been born into very religious families with strong belief systems and traditions in this day and age, all the thinking and searching have been done by those who have gone before us. So the day we were born, deep programming began. For us to question or not to believe in what we have been programmed over the years would be fraught with dangers.  At this point all I want to say is that I continue to have doubts but I continue to will and choose to believe. I certainly envy the faith of St. Paul or Mahatma  Gandhi or my own mother. And I say with St. Peter who, reminded of his little faith by the Lord, said: 

“Lord, I want to believe; but help my unbelief”.

A Hindu sanyasi (monk) friend of mine told me the other day: “Swamiji,  nothing else except prayer matters; He (God) is everything; I am nothing”. I responded: “God is everything, but I am also everything in my own unique way as a child God”.  I read a summary of a recent interview given by Pope Francis to Jesuit journalists. Asked as to who he was, the pope replied: “I am a sinner”. I want to appreciate his humility or self-emptying (kenosis) as I think he was sincere. But I do not agree with him as he is defining himself negatively. Sin is absence of goodness or some particular virtue.  We are all saints as children of God and friends of Christ; we are called to be saints. We all as humans fall short of the mark, and do things that we should not, and do not do the things that we should. We fall down, get up, and progress in perfection. That is what really matters. So God is more intimate to us than we ourselves are as St. Augustine said. We live, move, and have our being in God as St. Paul said. We are all Brahmacharis, that is walkers or movers in God. So God-eneregy saves us all when we want to save ourselves. All that matters is our sincerity. The deeper we get into our inner being, the more intense we are aware of that Presence who wants to take us beyond us. God-consciousness resides in the depth of our being. It does not matter what kind of faith I have; for me I am satisfied with the desire to have the right faith as the mystic Thomas Merton indicated. As for God-consciousness, it does not matter as I am always in God, and God is always in me. Am I aware of my breathing or the blood flowing in me when I am asleep?! No. I need to be aware of that Universal Force within me and around me. That consciousness is all that matters. That alone is my Bliss.

Swami Snehananda Jyoti

Neither I Know You nor You Know Me

There is a famous song sung by legendary singer Hemant kumar, which recites as "Na tum humein jaano, Na hum tumhein jaane" is especially very dear to me. The reason for my liking relates to this being the first song, my wife sang before me and my family before marriage during our first introduction. I still feel a special vibration when this song gets played anywhere. 

Today, I just sat down to understand the theme behind these special words. How much we know each other? Today we see trifles amongst the family members, riots amongst communities, war between nations. The single biggest reason everywhere seems to be, not knowing each other well enough. The famous "Johari Window" tries to draw the rooms, how much we know ourselves, how much others know me and how much I know about others. Definitely the biggest room is always the room where no one ever dares to enter; that is the room which is neither I know about myself and nor anyone else knows about me. All successful people are able to make their known room, the drawing room bigger. The philosophy behind this is simple to understand. If you can open your thoughts to others, you get more to learn and success always follows a life long learner. A family thrives if its members praise each other for their specialties. 

Communities live peacefully if they respect religions of each other and nations prosper if they trade goods amongst them and join hands to share their technology and learning. Today, politics has become a dirty word and people in this role are generally blamed for every evil our society faces. Politics is nothing, but a system to keep the systems going. To keep the systems going, best is always to know each and every component of the system. I do recall reading about our father of the nation, Mahatma Gandhi, who travelled across the length and breadth of the country before he could take up the cause of our countrymen.

So folks! The solution of everything lies in knowing. Knowing people, knowing their thinking, knowing their history, knowing their likings and so on.. But No! Telling about you and everything about yourself whatever you wanted to know about others is equally important. So the catch word surely is "SHARING".

Dr Sunil Ji Garg

Obedience

The greatest good for man is to become   conformable to the will of God.

Obedience is the virtue that grants one, willingness to submit to lawful authority. When one obeys, one is “hearing” and one is accepting the authority. One is only obedient as one is humble, and can never be humble if one is not obedient. For obedience to be   entire: it must be evident in three things: in its performance, in the will and in the judgments. It is evident   in the performance when the superior’s orders are carried out. It is evident in the will when nothing is willed but what he wills. It is evident in the judgment when his opinion is the one held. The virtue of obedience is an exalted virtue, eminently reasonable; it is not the least servile or blind, but requires on the contrary the greatest freedom of spirit and the strongest discernment.

We realise that we must practice the virtue of obedience in the  natural order: in the family milieu as children subject to  parents, in the education environment as students subject to  teachers, in the business world  as employees subject to  employers, and in the civil society as citizens subject to  legitimate laws and leaders. Obedience arises out of a fundamental relationship in a community. It is a complex human act. It recognizes   authority as well as responds to that authority. It includes a mandate and also a compliance. The quality of the response of obedience may vary widely, depending on the receptivity of the respondent. Some obey out of duty, some out of force; some soberly after reflection, some recklessly out of thoughtlessness; some out of anger, and some out of love.

In 1855, a young girl, Farnier, who was lame, went to ARS to ask a miracle from John Marie Vianney.

“My daughter,” replied the saint, “You disobey too often your mother and answer her back. If you want the Lord to heal you, you must correct your defects. And remember, you will get well but little by little according to your effort to correct your defects.”

She returned to her village and as she improved her ways her leg became normal.

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thokknattu SJL

Non- attachment 6

Let us discuss about Anasakti or non-attachment, our innate nature and how to come to it. And we shall also look into the dangers of embracing aversion to achieve the non-attachment. The greatest mistake one commits in this regard is that we embrace aversion as a means to come to non-attachment. We must remember, attachment is not as harmful as aversion is. It is because the face of the attachment is clear –cut and simple, it can easily be recognized. No one can mistake attachment for non-attachment. How can we say clinging to money is non-attachment? But the face of aversion is very deceptive, it is masked. And that is why it poses the greatest danger for one who is trying to attain to non-attachment. There is every possibility we can mistake aversion for non-attachment, and think that by rejecting men and things if one has attained to non-attachment. Aversion is a false coin; it can easily adopt the name of non-attachment. It is therefore essential to beware of aversion, which is no better than attachment. Aversion is attachment standing on its head, and to know this is to beware of it. 

Secondly, wherever we go the other will be there, because the world is the other. I also said there is only one space where the other is not, and it is the center of one’s being, our being. So let us move in that direction, which is entering into the innermost core of our being. Let us descend into the shrine of aloneness and solitude. There is no one in the solitude, not even you; it is a space of absolute silence. What does it mean? Does it mean that if I shut my eyes to the world I will enter the space of my alone-ness and solitude? Every day we close our eyes, but we are never alone. As soon as we close our eyes we begin to see the same images we had seen with open eyes. Thoughts and imaginations, dreams and daydreams surround us from all sides. The world is again with us. Although it is imaginary, it is nonetheless the same world. And unless the inner world of thoughts and dreams goes, we cannot be free from the other, we cannot be alone. 

This inner world of thoughts and dreams and images can be dropped, it is difficult not impossible. It is there because we want it to be there and it exists with our full cooperation and it will disappear the moment we withdraw our cooperation.

It is because we relish and enjoy our world of thoughts and images- we find it pleasurable - that it is alive and flourishing. Not just our enjoyment of it even the aversion to it helps to keep it going. I repeat: not only our addiction to this world, our aversion is equally responsible. not only we think of our friends and loved ones, we also think of our adversaries and enemies whom we hate. It is ironic many a times that those we hate haunt us more than those we enjoy with or love. But when we neither identify with some thing nor condemn it, the other drops by itself. If we are neither interested in remembering something nor forgetting something, the other drops by itself. It becomes irrelevant and meaningless, and so it removes itself from the screen of mind

Dr. Dwarakanath, Director

Mitran foundation- the stress management people

Blaming the Tools

During my posting at Kolkata, I used to play lawn tennis at the South Club of Kolkata. It is one of the most prestigious clubs of Kolkata, which has produced many national level players like Leander Paes. It was a real joy to play there and because of my consistency in the game, I had become quite popular among the members of the club. 

I had a friend who had introduced me to the club. His son also used to play there. He was good at the game but appeared to be somewhat too proud of himself. One day, he was playing a match with me. He being like my son, I took it easy and allowed him to win the first set with a comfortable margin. Immediately, I noticed that this win had gone to his head and instead of respecting my gesture he appeared even more proud.

Since I wanted to give him a message, I started playing seriously in the next set. He was not prepared for this and lost to me 6-0. This upset him so much that he started checking the balls, the height of the net, the guts of the racket and when he found nothing wrong with them, he became sad. I approached him affectionately and said that a good player never blames the tools. The problem with him was that he lacked humility while playing and also respect for the opponent’s game. While he was a good player, he underestimated his opponent and that is why he lost by a big margin. I also told him that while these qualities were necessary for a good sportsman, they were equally important for life.

The boy took my words seriously and was upset with his own behaviour. I knew he was an intelligent and smart boy with great potential and these were only minor aberrations, which needed to be corrected as soon as possible. His realisation of the same at my suggestion pleased me too. 

Rakesh Mittal I A S

Sexual Exploitation of Women

Primitive man protected his woman. The strongest man took the best and the most beautiful women around as their mates. Later on kings or war lords touring their kingdom pointed to the most beautiful young women to be brought to their palace and exploited them sexually. It is interesting to note that the biblical King David, who is reported to have written the great Psalms that are held in high esteem and recited frequently in prayer by Christians, and who in spite of having several hundreds of concubines of his choice, still plotted and killed his favorite general in order to get his wife whom he coveted. In the first half of twentieth century, women and children were considered to be chattel at the disposal of men. In other words, women at that time did not have human rights.  It was only in 1920 that the United States of America, with the passing of the 19th amendment of its Constitution after a long and arduous women’s suffrage movement started in the 1830’s by determined and conscientious women against all odds, granted women the rights to vote.

A synonym for women in India is abala (not strong) or pativrita (vowed or loyal to husband all the time). Anasuya (a woman with no jealousy), who is described in the epic, Ramayana, is the model of pativrita for all women. It is sati Anasuya who explained to Sita the grandeur and importance of being a sati (the ancient Indian tradition of immolation of a widow on the funeral pyre of her husband). Once trinity, (Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva), decided to test the chastity of Anasuya. The trinity came to Anasuya’s house in the form of three Brahmins, and asked Anasuya to serve them food while naked. Anasuya, after much  hesitation, decided to serve them food without any dress but only after converting the Brahmins into children using her pativrita shakti (power). Women all over the world are supposed to take care of the needs of men. With women’s rights movement, and women coming to their own consciousness as persons with equal rights as men, things have changed greatly at least in the US. Things are beginning to change in India.

According to recent estimates, one out of every five women in the US has suffered some form of sexual abuse. I have not come across comparable statistics or estimates for India. As a practicing clinician, my own estimate in India is the same if not higher as India, in general, is a very closed society. Women are very reluctant to talk about their experience of sexual abuse in India. If they do, it is often when they are gripped by the fear of going insane. At this point I am not going to get into male and female sexuality. But it is important to note that male sexuality is more genitally focused.  Women’s sexuality is more diffused in that the psychic arousal is very important for bodily arousal. For sexual intimacy they need to truly experience love for the man. Otherwise the sexual experience would be more like a commercial transaction as in prostitution. Due to learned helplessness and undue dependence of women on men fostered by systematic cultural programming, women especially those with inadequate personality, are willing to submit to men after persistent pursuing and demands. These women do not really want to have sexual relationships but end up in them as they feel helpless and trapped. They endure a sexual relationship and deal with it in a dissociative way. Their spirit and psyche are not there while their body goes through sexual expression mechanically. After suffering this kind of sexual act in the state of what may be called a disembodied transaction or dissociative reaction, some of these women can also be a terror,  and engage in physical violence and destruction. Women more than men are likely to possess inadequate personality with depressive and dissociative features. Men take advantage of women and girls in many ways. Some men, for instance, intentionally rub against women in crowded buses or trains. My intention in this article is to conscientize men and women about sexuality so proper boundaries are kept, and no sexual exploitation of any kind takes place. It is high time that our society openly deals with realities of life. Again, for humanity to arrive at is destiny, absolute respect for every human being – man and woman – is essential. 

Swami Snehananda Jyoti 

A Secret Meeting With GOD

I was moving inside a tunnel. It felt as if the wind around me was moving very fast like a whirlpool. The tunnel was completely dark, but I still had a sense of direction. I kept on moving for a long time. I had some different kind of senses. The feeling of having a physical body was missing. It was feeling as if I was energized like the way we saw the characters getting energized to reach other stars and planets in the Star Trek movies. I did not fully understand what part inside me was thinking and what was giving me senses. The feeling of sound and touch was missing, but the feeling of light was still there to some extent. My thoughts were different but they were still coming. I was feeling the warmth which I used to feel when my mother and father were alive. I was myself alive or not, I did not know. I did not feel like breathing anymore. But still something was still carrying on. It was me, certainly me, but in some different form. The form I never experienced before. The form I do not know was joyous or painful. Then suddenly came another different feeling. I felt that I was facing some intense light source. The light that was far more intense than any light I had ever seen before. But this light was quite soothing. It was high intensity, but it still felt 'cool'. I am writing the word 'cool', not because I regained my touch sense, but it is just the word I needed to express that feeling. And that was the last thing I could sense, before I returned to my physical senses. It was already late Sunday afternoon.

I tried to analyze my dream. As usual, I sat down on my laptop and searched the Internet to find what could be the reason behind such an experience. I came across experiences of many other people with very much similar experience. The tunnel and the intense light at the end of the episode are quite common to all such stories. Was that a secret meeting with GOD?

Just think why we connect light with GOD and darkness with Demons. Why we draw a halo around heads of our Idols and saints. Why do we connect positivity with light and negativity with darkness? Why religion is connected to super natural powers beyond our thoughts. Why after so much of scientific research the dimensions of unknowns are ever increasing. Why our religious leaders say that these are matters of belief. Why we train our young children to fold hands or open hands in front of statues of some idols or may be just towards a wall. Are we naturally believers or non-believers or do we work just according to our whims and fancies and as per our convenience. Sit down with yourself for sometime, answers may not be so difficult to find. After all, not every thing needs to be answered. Even science has something called axioms, something that is beyond proof or disproof. These are always the starting points. So let's read back the experience again, I was moving inside a tunnel …….

Dr Sunil Ji Garg

Prudence

It is a foolish bird that defiles it own nest.

Prudence is the knowledge of what is to be sought and avoided. Prudence is a virtue of maturity. It grasps the meaning and direction of life and accordingly, leads to the full realization of the human potential. A prudent person profits from personal experience, a wise one from the experience of others. Prudence exercises a certain degree of caution, but it does not prevent one from acting spontaneously or from taking risks. Prudence prevents one from being carried away by sudden emotions and impulses which would lead to harmful self-expression. However formed by past experiences, prudence is able to project the likelihood of success in special forms of self-activation. A soul without watchfulness is like a city without walls, exposed to the inroads of all its enemies.

It is great wisdom not to be rash in our doings, nor to maintain too obstinately our own opinion. Can a man control his future?  What we do today determines how the world shall go, for tomorrow is made up of the sum total of today’s experiences. No one knows what the formula is, nor how slight a change may reshape the pattern to our heart’s desire. Far from feeling hopeless or helpless, we must seize every opportunity, however small, to help the world around us toward peace, productivity and human brotherhood. Do not diminish your strength and talents by imprudence or neglect. Strive rather to develop these in yourself with good educational methods.

 The Persian poet Saadi went to a rich man for a loan of money. 

“How is it,” Mocked the rich man, “that the wise knock at the door of the rich, while the rich never knock at the door of the wise?”

“It is very simple,” answered the poet, “The wise know the path to wealth, but the rich do not know the path to wisdom.”

Never neglect the opportunity of keeping your mouth shut.

Sr.(Dr) Lilly Thokkanattu SJL

Non- attachment 5

Now I tell you that as long as you are, you cannot escape the other. Earlier I said that as long as you are in the world you cannot escape the other, he is everywhere. Now we are discussing the other side of the same truth: as long as we exist, as “I”, as ego, the other will be there. Even if we close our eyes and the world disappears, the other will not disappear. Now the other will exist behind our closed eyes, in our desires and longings, in our dreams and imaginations, but it will be there. As long as we are the other is inescapable with us. 

In fact, Svabhava or self-nature is a state where the self, the “I”, the ego, ceases to be. Self- nature is also one of those unlucky words that have been greatly misunderstood. By self-nature we generally mean the sense or feeling of the self. But where Svabhava or self-nature begins, the self disappears. There is no relationship whatsoever between self-nature and self. Self-nature is that which was there when I was not in this world, and it will be there when I will be gone from here. Whether I am here or I am not, self-nature is always in existence. That which is eternal is self-nature. Svabhava means: the nature, the primordial nature, the original face, the Prakriti, that which is, even without me. When we are asleep, there is no self, but self-nature is. In deep sleep, which in Sanskrit is called Sushupti, there is no self but self- nature is. There is much difference between Sushupti and Samadhi, deep sleep and super-consciousness. In Sushupti the self disappears because of unconsciousness, but in Samadhi it disappears because of wakefulness, awareness, enlightenment. 

In the next week, let us discuss about Anasakti or non-attachment, our innate nature and how to come to it. And we shall also look into the dangers of embracing aversion to achieve the non-attachment. 

Dr Dwarakanath, Mitran Foundation

One in Six Billion

Today, almost everyone feels that human values have gone down and wants the situation to change. At the same time, no one feels responsible for such a situation and we blame others for this. As a result, no steps are being taken for the restoration of values and the situation is going from bad to worse. Once I had a very interesting interaction in this regard which I am sharing here. 

When I was posted as the Principal Secretary of the medical and health department of UP, I knew an officer who was trying to become the Chief Medical Officer (CMO) of a district. For this, he was making all sorts of efforts and every one knew about it. Finally, he succeeded in becoming the CMO of a small district. The very next morning, he came to my residence with a small pack of sweets (perhaps in view of the size of his district of posting). Normally, I don’t meet any officials at my residence, yet I called him in my camp office. Presenting the pack of sweets, he hurriedly expressed his gratitude, though I hardly had any role in his posting. He also said that he was a victim of the system and many were responsible for his trouble. He begged for my permission to come again and narrate the details. 

I was amused at this behaviour of the officer but I took it wittingly. I asked him to narrate his story then itself instead of wasting my as well as his own time by coming again. At the same time, I gave him the option of coming again but with a condition. I asked him what would be the population of the world, to which he quickly responded by saying about 100 crores but corrected it to about 600 crores after realising that the query was about the world. Then I told him that if he wished to come some other time he should bring one person out of the six billion who would admit that he was responsible for being the cause of trouble to others. He was not at all prepared for such a response from me. His immediate reply was that it was not possible to find even one such person. I, then, told him that if there was not even one person out of the six billion who can cause trouble to others, then how were other people responsible for his troubles. By this time, he had understood my intention and disappeared, never to be seen again. 

The fact is that we ourselves are the source of our own troubles. We entertain unnecessary desires and then make compromises to attain them. If we trust the laws of Nature, even our troubles turn into blessings and opportunities. We, then, do not even think of any other person being responsible for our troubles, even if there is one or more.

Rakesh Mittal I A S

Superstitions

One of the main reasons that India is not developing and progressing as it should is due to its superstitious beliefs. Irrational and blind beliefs and superstitions are at the very core of religious India. Kerala, the most literate state in India, is no exception. With all the education, long-entrenched superstitions etched in their psyche stay intact and guide people’s private and family life. They run across religions. Let us examine a few. Recently an educated, unmarried, religious lady in her early 40’s developed an unwholesome relationship with a married man. When she realized the mess that she is in, she became determined to get out of that relationship. Her very orthodox, religious family, considering her to be a disgrace to the family, consulted an astrologer who prescribed that she go to a particular temple and go through the ritual of vomiting to cleanse herself and her family in order to get rid of the problem. So her well-educated brother went to her place of work and persuaded her, and took her to this temple almost against her will as she did not believe in this ritual.  Here is another example.  A family that migrated to the USA from India and lived there for some years was experiencing great distress as all the shoes of the family members would be cut into pieces every day so they could not be worn. This went on for over a month causing undue mental anguish and financial hardship. They called their parish priest to exorcise the demon (kuttichathan). The priest went to their home and and performed the ritual of exorcism, but the problem persisted. Finally I was called to the scene from a distance of about 1000 kilometers.  Since I solved the problem for them, the grandmother of the young adolescent, who did the “demon’s” work, still think of me as possessing some supernatural power.

This example relates to a young man and a young lady falling in love with each other years ago. They not only belonged to different religions and castes but also to different states in India. The young  man was beaten up by the police at the instance of his lover’s brother. The young woman was almost forcibly taken to a priest by her aunt to get the demon out of her. Nothing worked. Finally on a visit home from the United States both approached me in despair. Initially I was reluctant to get involved anticipating very unpleasant consequences. The girl’s mother had already stated that the marriage of her daughter to her lover would take place only on her dead body. Getting wind of my involvement, the girl’s mother had also warned me not to try “the American model” on her family. Eventually after thorough evaluation of the situation, I yielded to my conscience and sane judgment and supported their undying desire to get married. This example relates to a carpenter who worked for me and respected me a great deal. He said that an important door frame (kattila) to one of the buildings of the ashram be placed at an auspicious time according to the horoscope. As I had to be somewhere else at that time, I suggested to my carpenter friend that I might, looking at the sky, tweak slightly the configurations of the zodiac signs with a view to some adjustments so we could place the door frame earlier than he planned. He was alright with it and I was able to keep my other commitment. The final example relates to a lady in her 50’s who came to visit me in the ashram. She said she had recently gone to the shrine of Mother Mary at Velankanny on a pilgrimage. I asked her a seemingly innocent question: “Is Mother Mary at Velankanny different from Mother Mary at the local church”? Her initial quick answer was: “Yes”. Then after a pause, with a smile, she said: “No”.

In the above examples, besides superstitious practices and beliefs, other important aspects such as ignorance, prejudices, fear of the unknown, and vested interests are involved. Persons who ought to know (the priestly class both in Christianity and Hinduism) knowingly or unwittingly help keep up superstitious practices among their faithful, one might think, for some economic benefits. All superstitions everywhere must go so humanity can progress and get duly enlightened.

Swami (Dr) Snehananda Jyoti

Decision Taking Skills of a Beggar

The story simply begins like this. One day I and my uncle, who visited me from Mumbai, were out on a morning walk. It was about 8.00 A.M. in the morning. Yes, from morning walk's angle it was rather late. But it was the right time for beggars on the street to start their day of struggle. So it was quite normal when a beggar come near us and asked for some money. My uncle, who is a retired soft-hearted person, inserted his hand into the pocket of his kurta and found a five rupee coin. He thought it should be enough for the beggar to eat at least a samosa ('samosa', the famous Indian snack found in almost every nook and corner of India. It has also earned the honour of being one of the top ten popular dishes of the world.). So, coming to the point, my uncle very kindly handed this coin to the beggar and asked him with little authority in his voice tone – "Go and enjoy a samosa this morning". Then came the surprise for me. Instead of the beggar saying some usual notes of thanks, he said "You may keep the coin with you, or I shall decide myself what I should eat, or I should use this for eating or for something else". My uncle swiftly said – "Ok! Do whatever you like". 

This simple episode vibrated lots of chords in my mind. Look, even the beggar wants to take his own decisions. He doesn't want to be guided by your decision. You may think that you are providing funds to him, but sorry! You are just giving it to him because you feel you have and he doesn't. Mere reason that you donated the money is not enough for you to start guiding him on how he should use it. There is a famous saying in Hindi that says "Neki kar, dariya me daal", which means forget your acts of benevolence, by throwing them into the river.

Today the biggest challenge any leader faces is to allow his teammates to take decisions. Allowing other people to take decisions is required in all walks of life. May be in a family, in the corporate world, in the political sphere and everywhere. Leaders or persons at the helm of affairs are required to provide a decision-taking-framework only. After that the decisions should be taken by individuals only. An effective collective decision would come out only when decision taking skills are inculcated in each member of any team. Remember, a decision comes after problem analysis. Each individual will have his own perception of the problem. Therefore, an individual's problem analysis pattern will ultimately add to the quality of the decision taken. 

Not all decisions are required to be consensus based, but the feeling that I have a power to decide in itself is a bigger power. My vote was counted; this itself gives me sufficient satisfaction even if the final decision was not as per my wish. The power of decision making itself, prompts me to acquire more knowledge, because I care for my own decision and I always want that the final team decision should align with my wish. Do You know, what the beggar did of that five rupee coin? He counted all coins in his kitty, it must have been sufficient for him to buy a medium size white bread. I saw him buying that from a nearby store. He surely took a better decision as he could now feed his whole family with twenty slices of bread which was sufficient for the family breakfast. By buying a samosa, he could not even have fed himself fully.

Dr Sunil Ji Garg

Managing Director, Sunmitra Education, Lucknow.

Suffering

One ounce of patient suffering is worth far more than a pound of action.

The greatest mystery of life is that satisfaction is felt not by those who take and make demands but by those who give and make sacrifices. In them alone the energy of life does not fail, and this is precisely what is meant by creativity. There are three ways that prepare us for life’s trials. One is the Spartan way that says, “I have strength within me to do it, I am the captain of my soul. With courage and will that is mine, I will be the master when the struggle comes.”Another way is in the spirit of Socrates, who affirmed that we have minds, reason and judgment to evaluate   and help us to cope with the enigmas and struggles of life. 

The Christian way is the third approach. It doesn’t exclude the first two, but it adds, “You don’t begin with yourself, your will, or your reason. You begin with God, who is the beginning and the end. When your strength grows weak and your reason fails you, faith in the Creator gives you the power to  overcome all things” .We have in life many troubles, and troubles are of many kinds.  Following are the Seven Mischievous Misses who are responsible for most of our troubles. Miss Information, Miss Quotation, Miss Representation, Miss Interpretation, Miss Construction Miss Conception, and Miss Understanding. 

A legend says that a man found his cross too heavy and beyond his strength. He prayed to  the   Lord to  relieve him of it. The Lord, after much prayers, agreed, led the man to  a large room where there were many crosses, and invited him to  choose one less heavy. He went several times round the room but could not find a cross that could please him: One was too heavy, another too light, a third too small. Finally he picked up one somewhat satisfactory.

“Do you like it?” asked the Lord.

“Yes, it seems more fitting than all the crosses I tried”. 

Then the Lord said, “Well, that was the cross you yourself laid down when you entered the room.”

Sr (Dr) Lilly Thokkanattu SJL

Non- Attachment 3

If we understand this behavioural aspect of non-attachment, then we will know that changes in behaviour don’t make much difference. It often happens that a person of attachments reacts and turns his back on everything he clings to, similarly a renunciate turns into a worldly man again and begins to run after money, position and prestige. People of considerable success in this world say they are in a mess and want to get rid of it. Renunciate also say it seems they made a mistake by leaving the world. Who knows? There may be something really worthwhile which they are missing. A monk thinks the people of the world are having a good time, while really they are wasting their lives. And worldly people think they are missing some higher experiences of life the monks are having. In fact, only their situations are different. Psychologically the monk and the house holder are in the same boat. Psychologically they are heavily depended on others, they are in shackles. And such people, even many among us cannot know freedom, truth and bliss. Really the ‘other’ is the bondage. 

Usually a renunciate thinks that he has given up the other, but he is not aware that he is mistaken to think so. He is still bound with the other, he is in another kind of relationship with the other, a relationship of escape, what he leaves behind pursues him. Although he is not running behind it, he is afraid of it. Because he has escaped from it, he is worried lest it overcome him again. And where can we run away from the other. The other is everywhere except one place, and that is our innermost being, the center of our being. If we leave our home, the ashram or monastery will take its place. And we will be attached to it the way we were attached to our home. If we leave our wife or husband or children, then the master and the disciples will take their places and we will be attached to them. We can leave a palace for a hut, but hut is as much a house as a palace. 

The other is all over. In this world we cannot run away from the other, because the world is the other, and where ever we go the world will be with us. Where ever we go the other will be there, of course the other will take new forms, but it will be there. By changing appearances we cannot change reality. Except one space, the space of love, the other is everywhere. At the deepest core of love there is no other- not because the other cannot enter there, but because at our deepest core even we disappear. At the deepest center of one’s being even the self, “I”, disappears; so there is no way for the ‘other’ to be there. 

Dr. Dwaraka Nath, Director, 
Mitran foundation- the stress management people

Was it a Help

I had a friend from the Indian Administrative Service, whom I came in contact with in the UK, during the twelve-week training under the Colombo plan. He belonged to the Kerala cadre and hailed from Punjab. This was in the year 1990 and at that time, he was posted in Delhi on a central deputation. We had several things in common which made us close friends during the period of training, though we had not met each other before that. This friendship continued even after the training got over and we kept in touch with each other. I was at Kanpur at that time. Within one year, that is, in 1991, I was also posted to Delhi on a central deputation and within few months I got a residence, which was hardly two kilometres away from this friend’s home. This strengthened our friendship further, and our families also came closer. We used to visit each other frequently and this continued for almost three years. My friend’s deputation to the government of India was coming to an end and he was worried about it because he was not willing to go to Kerala at that point of time, mainly because of his daughter’s asthma problem. So he was trying for a deputation to Punjab, which was his home state.

I had a friend in the prime minister’s secretariat, to whom I had also spoken for help, but somehow the proposal was not accepted. This made my friend very upset who came running to me in a very disturbed state of mind. While I was not in full agreement with his wish, still I thought of making one more effort. This time, I spoke to a junior lady colleague of mine whose father was the prime minister’s principal secretary. My friend wanted an appointment with him to explain his problem. Luckily, this intervention helped and he got an appointment. Not only this, his case was then favourably considered and he got a deputation to the Punjab government for three years. This made my friend very happy and he profusely thanked me for this help. Naturally, I was also happy about it. But our happiness was short-lived. He joined the Punjab government in the month of July 1994. Almost around the same time, I also got a posting to Kolkata on promotion and I shifted there. Our contact also became occasional. On a visit to Delhi in the month of September, when I enquired about him from a common friend, I learnt that my friend was no more. He had died in an accident while driving from Chandigarh to Ludhiana, which was his home town. This was very difficult for me to bear but there was no option. I immediately rushed to Chandigarh and shared a few moments of grief with his family, which gave them a lot of consolation and courage. 

Quite often, I think of this incident, and the question, which comes to my mind again and again, is whether it was a help or not. The message I get is that our role in the journey of life is only to make our best efforts. The eventual outcome is the result of a large number of factors, most of which are unknown to us. This realisation not only keeps our ego away but also helps in accepting events as they happen. 

Incidentally, the family took this development in a very positive way and settled down in a graceful manner, in due course.

Rakesh Mittal I A S

Universal Human

Humans are born into this universe, not into any nations. We humans arbitrarily carved this earth into nations through occupation, invasion, colonization, or elections. New nations can arise as for instance, Pakistan and Bangladesh emerged from the Greater India. A national entity can disappear through dissolution into various nations as in the case of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics or Soviet Union. A human, especially a person in power, anywhere in the world can be tried for crimes against humanity or blatant violations of human rights in an International Court. All humans need to primarily belong to the United Nations that need long overdue substantive reform, and then secondarily to nation states or territorial divisions for the sake of convenient and effective governance. Loyalty to humanity needs to come before loyalty to particular nations or patriotism. We are all truly citizens of this earth first, and each one of us is accountable to humanity for our life and behavior. Our collective human will guided by truth, justice, equality, and freedom needs to prevail at all times.

It is in the context of all humans equally belonging to the one beloved earth that we all share and need to ecologically preserve that I want to reflect on the signs of a universal human very aptly on the birthday (October 2) of one of the greatest humans of this earth: Mahatma Gandhi. Gandhi is a great modern universal human model in that he belonged to the whole world even though he was an Indian national. He embodied the best human values embracing all. While Gandhi provided non-violent leadership in freeing Greater India from the chains of British colonialism he was led by larger universal human interests and principles that excluded no one including the British. For instance, in his vision, he was very clear that the colonial British rule in India was morally and politically very detrimental to the rulers as well as the ruled. So much so he equated non-violence with love. Unfortunately many evil things in the past have happened, and still happen, on account of human beings engaging and indulging in depraved selfishness. Fortunately some evils, if not all, are addressed and remedied very slowly but surely and persistently in international forums. 

In the evolving consciousness of human rights on the path of the necessary goal of the unity of humanity, nothing is more important than the formation of a universal human. Here then are some of the important elements that go into the formation. The universal human possesses a conscience formed on the basis of what is right and wrong, truth and falsehood. Freedom, justice, fairness and equality of all humans are also necessary aspects of this formation. The Judeo-Christian values such as the Ten Commandments are found in all religions in some form or other. These values and other universal maxims such as ‘do good and avoid evil’, ‘give everyone one’s due’, and ‘do to others what you like others to do to you’ enter into a thorough and fully formed conscience. Non-violent resolution of conflicts with love and compassion, tolerance and respect, gentleness and generosity is a must. Guided by this rigorous and firm conscience, the universal human does everything while enjoying and celebrating life. Doing always what is right with due discernment has its own reward and satisfaction.  When mistakes are made, they are duly acknowledged and corrected in humility. Everybody grows and blossoms in an atmosphere of thoughtfulness and diversity.  Nobody is given preferential treatment on the basis of birth or wealth. Everyone is chosen on the basis of abilities, interests, and merits to do the right job that receives an adequate living wage, and enables all to live in human dignity.

Swami (Dr) Snehananda Jyoti