Chathurashram - 6

Blooming Stars - Swami (Dr) Snehananda Jyoti

With persistent hard core programming, obscurantism, and vested institutional interests, the prevalent thinking is that the state of celibacy and virginity is higher than that of marriage. What needs to be kept in mind is that celibacy is a discipline that can change. Persons who have committed themselves to celibacy by their own free will or certain mandates may choose to change their status and get married with proper discernment and guidance. Holiness consists in free and conscious decision that everyone makes on an on-going basis. Holiness cannot exist without full mental and emotional freedom. The relationship between husband and wife is closest to the best model of the relationship between the Church as the Bride of Christ and Christ himself for Christians.  In this connection it is important to note that the Bible translation officially  approved by the Catholic church in Kerala (India) and commonly used in homes and churches is not even able to use the word wife  and uses instead sisterly woman (sahodariyaya sthree – 1 Corinthians Chapter 9: 5).  In the Hindu setting, Sri Rama and Sri Krishna, the most popular avatars (incarnations) of God were married. Sri Krishna is reported to have 16008 wives. Besides all the important Gods, and the Trimurtis (Triune Gods) - Brahma, Vishnu, Maheshwar - and the prominent maharshis (sages) were married. In Judaism there is no history of celibacy. In Islam lifelong celibacy is forbidden. The strong contention here is that celibacy in itself (per se) does not add anything more to holiness than marriage,  and that celibacy and marriage are states wherein doing only God’s will in one’s proper and sincere discernment is what matters as far as holiness is concerned. All are called to holiness. It is of paramount importance that a husband and wife start paramarthashram preparing for sanyasa (stage of renunciation) together in siddhashram (stagte of realization).  
4. Siddhashram (Stage of Realization): This is the final setting which is geared for the attainment (siddhi) of perfection - the ultimate goal. This is the final stage of traditional sanyasashram. In this stage of life one is solely concerned about spiritual life. Everything that promotes spiritual life is embraced. Everything that detracts from spiritual life is abandoned.  In this ashram only spiritual pursuits are followed. Materialistic pursuits are engaged only in view of the spirit-life. It is important that one takes good care one’s body as long as one lives. One is detached from material things. One strives only for spiritual treasure as one’s heart is where one’s treasure is. One devotes oneself fully to the kingdom of God where truth, justice, equality, unity, and reconciliation reign supreme.  One comes to this ashram after going through prior ashrams successfully. One has known life in all its dimensions, tried to change things that could be changed, and accept things that could not be changed. There is peace and serenity. There are no regrets. There is no unfinished business. One has learnt from one’s mistakes. Everything has been for the good, and continues to be for the good. There is a deep sense of surrender. One’s life history has been and continues to be one’s own history of salvation. This is the final stage in the eight stages of life described by Erick Erickson where one experiences and enjoys integrity and wisdom. In this stage one operates at the highest possible level of Post-Conventional moral development that may be understood in terms of Lawrence Kohlberg’s Universal Ethical Principles guided by a fully Formed Conscience (stage 6) or Transcendental Morality or Morality of Cosmic Orientation (stage 7). In this ashram one lives in Universalizing Faith described by J. Fowler, spending one’s life in love grounded in the unity of humanity. (To be Continued)

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Project Smile

Life's Lessons - Joseph Mattappally

I was through the final words of some individuals sentenced to death. There I could find a man (Harrison Gibson - hanged in 1917), who smiled to death. He said, ‘‘They can’t kill a smile!’’ Those were his last words. Most statements, of the convicted, according to Robert K. Elder (Last Words of the Executed,) fit somewhere into some stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The Gibson theory that a smile can never be killed kept scratching my thoughts for a while. I asked myself, ‘what is so special with this expression?’

There is the story of few people who were asked to share what they love to hear others speak of them, while they are packed in coffins. There came in different opinions. A bright guy is said to have stated that he wants to hear somebody say, “Look, he is breathing….!” There spread a smile, easing the tension hovering there. As I grew more and more enthusiastic to learn about the possibilities of a smile, I could learn that even a simple gesture of it changes the nature of the moment into something pleasant. Like a wild fire, a powerful smile transforms the whole environment into a distinct mood, in no time. I remember the story of a college student. The last project of a Sociology Degree class was ‘Smile’. All students were asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. A lady student but documented her own reaction of a big smile, a very poor guy offered her, as she gave him a free breakfast. Any smile, if it is the true expression of genuine passions within, is as powerful as a dynamite. But how many of us use this powerful weapon to scare off the stress and tension in and around. A smile can change things …… a smile can create things …… A smile is neither paid nor taxed; what if we consider this as part of our daily chorus? 

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A Simple Solution for a Big Problem

Freedom and Creativity

Views and Words - Dr K S Radhakrishnan 

A very false concept on creativity is that it amounts to anarchy. Take for ex. music; anarchical expression of various sound waves can never be able to create music. Music can be created only if the musician regulates his vocal cord to produce a specific range of sound with all required features. A musician also needs consistent practice for effective utilization of all supporting equipments. Like this, a poet has to make rigorous practices to make his selections proper. After all, poetry is diction; but how to use the words appropriately is the question. Words can be connected properly in a poetic manner only if one is able to make discrimination between what the poet needs in a particular poetic context and what he does not need. So the ‘need’ and ‘does not need’ are to be assessed properly, where one has to exercise one’s power to regulate his capacity to select words. Words are flowing like a river but we have to get what we need. This proper form of selection is to be done by proper regulation. This is applicable to the administration also. A good administrator is the one who is able to regulate himself as well as his establishment. Administration is nothing but an act of exercising freedom, in the sense that he regulates himself and the whole establishment. Regulation can never be confined to the financial matters alone, even though every finance manager gives the warning that one has to regulate one’s expenditure. If one is not able to regulate expenditure, such an institution will end up in bankruptcy because unregulated spending of money will definitely take an institution to financial crisis. So, regulation is essential even for a good administrator. One cannot become a management expert without having regulation. 

These rules of regulation are not restricted to either a good politician or a good academician. Wherever we exercise our free will, there we need regulation. There cannot be any creation or creative activity without having proper regulation. This universal theory can no way be ignored by any person whatever be his area of activity, irrespective of a laymen and an expert. Take the case of a lady who is cooking. Cooking is an activity which needs a high level of attention and concentration. In every minute segment of the process the one who is engaged in cooking has to exercise accurate self-regulation mechanism. She should invariably know the proportion of all ingredients used in a dish – from salt to spices. In short, wherever we are placing ourselves, we essentially need self-regulation. My point is that self-regulation is not merely the concern of Rishis and sages alone but of every person who is engaged in any sort of activity. The moment one wants to transform ones activity as an act of creation, such an act can never be able to ignore the role of self regulation. At the very beginning of this discussion itself, I had made it clear that freedom is self-regulation. Advaita Vedanta clearly gives the idea that any person in any field can be creative only when he exercises his free will with a regulative mechanism that has been designed by the person himself. 

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Equanimity of Mind

Health and Happiness - Dr Dwarakanath

This sloka explains the path to reach oneness in life, which is the root to come out of the influences of Maya. From time immemorial, in the Indian tradition, it has been taught to us by the sages that Vishnu (God) is the all-pervading power in me, in you and everywhere. This Vishwam (universe) is nothing but Vishnumayam, i.e., the all-pervading reality. How to believe this truth? There is no short-cut for this. Every student of spirituality has to understand this reality in one's own heart, till then, it is a kind of repetition, which is necessary to emphasise that one point, which says that the multiplicity is the nature of the world, but the realised soul sees only oneness in and through all. It means, there is only one, without second and that one is appearing in multiple facets, because of one's ignorance. As long as one does not realise that oneness in all, one keeps getting doubts and requires answers too. When one has reached the perfection or realised the truth, then the feeling of imperfection will automatically give way to completeness or complete satisfaction. 

The first step to reach the ultimate or to realise the truth, it is to be-equal-minded in all circumstances. It is a tall order, as most of us are in the grip of moods and momentary pleasures. No amount of study of scriptural literature will help one to realise the truth, unless one applies the knowledge learnt in search of that truth. Theoretical knowledge to know how the "sweet" tastes is fine, but the experience will be altogether different if one really tastes "sweet". Likewise, the acquired knowledge should help us to realise the truth and make us to resolve not to take rest till we achieve the ultimate. The ultimate is nothing but "atma-saakshaatkaaram (self-realization)", which is possible to be accomplished by making our mind receptive to the truth, such as, first one has to make a concerted effort to remove all the cobwebs that have been formed over a period of time, erase all likes and dislikes from the mind, be equal minded for anything and everything. We should position and treat oneself as mere witness to the whole drama that is unfolding in front of one. As one succeeds in this Sadhana, the subtle influence from the higher planes of consciousness starts emanating and the mind has to be made to listen to these influences to progress and to reach the ultimate reality - samachittatvam i.e., equanimity of mind, is an important ingredient in the whole sequence of things, which makes one to lead a life of a witness rather than a participant. This equanimity or even-mindedness should not get disturbed or shaken by the world of external objects and either positive or negative happenings in one’s life. One has to be solid and strive to filter away from one's mind the influences of life in order to develop the mental equipoise. All this is possible with Sadhana, dedicating the action, devotion to the lord, service to the mankind, constant introspection, and contemplation on the highest. Samatvam, i.e., equal vision on all things and beings and in all circumstances is, therefore, an essential part of Sadhana to attain the ultimate.

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Peace at any price is cheap

Smart Plus - Rakesh Mittal I A S 

I had a cousin who passed away in April 1991 at the age of 58 when he underwent a second bypass surgery in U.K. We were very close to each other with deep mutual respect. When I passed my engineering examination from the University of Roorkee, he advised to join private sector. I followed his advice but subsequently providence brought me into the I.A.S. and he was one of the happiest persons on this development. In the later years, he changed his opinion about government service and wanted his son to join the I.A.S. The reason why he changed his opinion was perhaps his adoption of an integrated view of life. He himself had had a brilliant career as a chartered accountant and served in some very good private companies where he worked with great dedication. Unfortunately he developed a coronary problem and underwent a bypass surgery in U.K. Thereafter he continued to live cheerfully for years until he was advised to undergo another operation. He left India for his second surgery on 8 April, 1991. On that day I spent about an hour with him in the morning.  When I was taking leave of him, he gave me a word of advice saying, “Rakesh, remember one thing — Peace at any price is cheap.’’ Obviously it was the essence of his life which I took with great reverence and emotion.

After a week or so, we got the news of his passing away but his last message still keeps ringing my ears. The more I contemplate over the message, the more I find it true and relevant. Only about a year before his passing away, I had founded a mission called ‘Kabir Peace Mission’. In the preamble of its aims and objects, the word ‘Peace’ was defined as ‘Integrated Development. I am of the view that any development should lead to peace and if it does not happen, it is not real development. Similarly, when we think of progress or development in life, peace should be its natural corollary. If it is not so, there is something wrong in the so-called progress or development.

Today peace eludes most of us despite all our achievements. I know several friends and relatives who have everything to make an impressive bio data but do not have peace of mind. The question arises — what is it that goes wrong? The intention here is not to discuss the subject from a very philosophical point of view but to establish the fact that even from the materialistic point of view, it is necessary to understand certain facts of life. There is no doubt that we all need material progress. The error most of us commit is that we make this progress the end and not the means. I look at material progress only as a means to achieve the ultimate aim, which is peace of mind. Very few are able to discriminate between the two and no wonder that peace eludes most of us.

We do not know the amount of money we need, the size of the house we require, and the number of clothes we should own. Most of our time and energy are wasted in increasing them rather than using or enjoying what we already possess. The result is that while we may be in a position to afford very good food, we have no time or appetite to enjoy it. We may be having a big house with lawns, but have no time or mood to relax. We may have a large number of friends and relatives but have no time to spend with them. My cousin had seen life closely and God had given him the wisdom to understand it fully. In giving his advice on the choice of career, his intention was not to compare jobs but to emphasis the fact that life was to be seen as a package. Any package which offers greater peace of mind was to be preferred over the others. Perhaps, he realized that a government job was a better package because of its stability and well defined limits. Irrespective of all these, the message given by him is an important fact of life. Those who understand and absorb it can hope to lead a happy life. Peace will come to them without paying any price.

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Stuck by the Ditch

Message of Peace - Justice P K Shamsuddin

           The news of this huge mobilization of men and arms against Medina instilled fear in the minds of the Muslims. Not much help was possible from outside and their only option turned out to be fortification of the city. Halmanal Farra, who was familiar with war ethics, advised digging of a dry mot around Medina and fortification of buildings within. The mot was dug and Mohammed worked with his hands alongside his companions. All the Muslims participated in this endeavor with picks and tools borrowed from the Qurayzah Jews, who remained true to their covenant with Mohammed. The work was completed within six days with great effort. The walls of the buildings facing the enemy were reinforced and the inhabitants were evacuated. They reserved these buildings for the use of the army.

            The Meccans and their allies marched forward, expecting to see the Muslims somewhere on the way, but they couldn’t find any. They further marched towards Medina, where they found to their great surprise, a ditch surrounding the whole city. They accused the Muslims for resorting to such an unusual technique of war. The army finally encamped at a place called Rumah and the forces of Ghatafan and its allies encamped at a place called Dharab Naqana. Mohammed gathered there, thousand Muslims on the side of Hal mountain in Medina. Only the ditch separated the Muslims from the enemy. The Meccans and the allies realized the impossibility of crossing the ditch and were forced to restrict their military activity just to the extent of Javelin. Abu Sufian was convinced that they have to wait for a very long time before they could storm it. The season was winter and the cold was unbearable. Wind and storm continued without break, adding more woe to the situation. To the Meccans, it became amply clear that a victory was impossible, as long as the Muslims under Mohammed controlled the other side of the ditch and Banu Utarayya supplied Medina with enough food provisions to enable them to hold on to their positions for months or even for years.

Some of the Meccan allies began to think of returning home. However, the leaders of the Meccan force knew that another mobilization would be difficult once if they were allowed to disperse. Abu Sufian pondered over and weighed all the conciliations. He finally decided to use his last trump card. He told the Meccans that he would persuade Banu Qurahah to violate their covenant with Mohammed  and bring him to his camp and thus cut off supply of food to Muslims, for ever. 

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Chathurashramam - 5

Blooming Stars - Swami (Dr) Snehananda Jyoti

All ashrams are meant for married couples as well as celibate persons who have freely and consciously committed themselves to that way of life, and as long as they choose to stay in that way of life. Marriage is seen as a lasting commitment as it involves one’s spouse and progeny. Celibacy on the other hand becomes a lasting or permanent commitment through ongoing conscious choice and commitment. No institution in this world has the power to make laws related to fundamental human rights such as marriage or celibacy. To get married and to stay celibate are fundamental human rights that like any other fundamental human right need to be exercised in full freedom and discernment without any kind of family or societal coercive influence. It might be noted that voluntary celibacy freely chosen for all for a period is highly recommended as it will help better appreciate one’s marriage, and deepen one’s commitment. The period of sathyashram certainly is a time of celibacy. Intentional and conscious celibacy for a period during the transition period as a preparation for marriage and sevashram can also be immensely helpful. The three years between 22 and 25 can be a very appropriate time. The traditional brahmacharyashram (literally, the stage of moving in God later came to be understood as the stage of a celibate student preparing for other ashrams) life envisaged celibacy. Interestingly people who continued celibacy or those who became sanyasis or sanyasins or joined religious congregations and took the vow of chastity came to be known as brahmacharis, i. e., those who move in the Lord. The question then is: “What about those who marry?” Are they moving in the Lord any less? Absolutely not. That is why the term brahmachari should not be appropriated by celibates. Besides, marriage also needs to be marked by chastity. Because a person is married he or she cannot do anything he or she wishes; marriage is not a license for uncontrolled sex or lust or imposition of one spouse’s desires on the other through coercion or manipulation.
Any relationship with another human being including the most sacred relationship that can be had in marriage needs to be guided and marked by God’s plan and will. Celibacy in itself is not an end. It is good if one is called to it, and if it helps oneself to work better for God’s kingdom. One needs to be able to stop being a celibate through discernment of God’s will without institutional penalties and social stigmas. Traditionally sanyasa (­­­­the life of renunciation) was meant for celibates only. Sanyasa for committed couples proposed here is much more difficult as it involves a man and a woman as a husband and a wife committed in marriage. The strongly held opinion that celibacy is a prerequisite for sanyasa is dated and biased. According to Judeo-Christian scriptures marriage is very important as, for instance, in the creation story of Genesis God wanted male and female to complement each other in mateship, union and communion. In the New Testament section of the Bible, Paul of Tarsus, one of the most prominent disciples of the Lord, loudly complains of the poor treatment the celibates (Paul himself and Barnabas) were receiving in comparison to most of the apostles and Disciples of Christ including Peter, the first Pope, who were married. All the apostles and disciples except Paul and Barnabas were accompanied in the ministries by their wives (1st Corinthians, chapter 9). This situation was reversed when celibacy was mandated for priests. Gradually celibacy and virginity acquired a preferred and superior status fetching higher respect in modern times till the shift in the second Vatican Council, the supreme body of the Catholic Church, held from 1962 to 1965. (To be continued).

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