The Death Rituals

She was a simple, religious, pious lady. She definitely filled the criteria of this expression as found in most Indian matrimonial bio-data which explains a mother. A year back, she was diagnosed with a type of cancer, which is most deadly and the chances of surviving even for six months was less than fifteen percent. Hearing about her condition she decided to organise a religious event, so that all relatives can come and meet her. The event went smoothly, although it had its moments of emotional peaks.

Now after a year later, when she passed away, all relatives gathered again. This time the death rituals seemed to be too detailed and full of dramatic ups and downs. The real problem is not the rituals; it is the conflict amongst people who try to follow them. There is always a version of the priest involved. There is a version of self stamped experienced people. Another version comes from the family from where the lady belongs. One more version comes from the family of the daughter-in-law of the lady. The person who lights the funeral pyre is expected to sit at home for thirteen days. He could be the person who might not have sat along with her mother for thirteen hours. Incidentally, there is involvement of money at every stage. There are few gifts and offerings to be given from the family of the daughter-in-law. The menu of death-feast is also a great issue. People plan things on a grand scale. In many situations such planning and forced execution is done even when there are financial constraints. And now, there is a new system of combining all the rituals that were supposed to be done for the whole year on a single day. This way the offerings and gifts to the priest increase many folds.

Since ages there are many such things which are being continued, just because, what others will say. Some people say that it is a way to show that how much we loved the deceased soul. I am sure that the person needed the love much more when he or she is live, rather than when deceased. Our society definitely needs to wake-up to the challenge of challenging such forced rituals. I am in favour of changing the school syllabi to either understand the purpose of such rituals or to make people understand rights and wrongs, especially on such occasions when our emotions can be cashed by certain people with vested interests.

Dr. Sunil Ji Garg