How many disciples Jesus had is not worth a question. Everybody knows that Jesus had 12 disciples. Still, a very hot question is there. Who was His 12th disciple? As we learn from the Bible, it was Judas Iscariot who later betrayed Jesus. As Christmas rolled in once again, I tried to explore further. Who was actually the 12th disciple of Jesus? Bible says that Judas was substituted by Matthias, according to a joint decision of the other 11 disciples. Unfortunately, Bible has not mentioned this name once again. Nobody knows what Matthias did in his later years. Incidentally, there came up a man who declared himself anointed an apostle; that was St. Paul. He would have been an apostle but not a disciple, because every disciple invariably needs to be a student too. St Paul was not trained under Jesus. However, there are theologians who argue that St Paul was the choice of the Spirit.
If somebody asks me about my role as a Christian, the answer I might give could be that I am His 12th disciple. A disciple who betrays the values Jesus taught and every evening choosing to finish into the darkness of oblivion, like Judas Iscariot; sometimes talking high on the relevance of discipline and commitment to attain realization, like St. Paul; and sometimes living unheard like Matthias. I do not find myself either in the row of disciples nor among committed promoters of the Word. I find more glimpses of my spirit in Judas who causes crosses and later repenting stronger than Peter, the Head.
May the spirit of Christmas strengthen everyone to live the challenges, in God given purity of sublime surrender.
Joseph Mattappally
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